- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Military Families
chickeyboom
member
Veterans Wife
chickeyboom
member
So I'm looking to talk to a veteran's wife. My husband served in the Army for 6 1/2 yrs and served 2 tours in Iraq over the course of 24 months. I met him after the fact and I have some questions about PTSD. Anyone available? Prego or not prego it's ok. I'm curious what his reaction might be to the baby when they are crying in the middle of the night.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Veterans Wife
Hello there. I am a military wife, and my husband has done four Iraq deployments, but he doesn't have PTSD.
However, I am a psychiatric nurse and have been working with PTSD patients for two years now.
It's hard to say how your husband will react to a crying baby without knowing a little about his personal case. But even if I did, there's no way to predict how he will react once the baby is here. A common theme I see in my PTSD patients is having a poor tolerance to stressors, and in turn, having either no coping skills or habitually turning to unhealthy coping skills (drinking heavily, hurting self, hurting others).
If he isn't already, I highly recommend him getting some individual therapy, joining in group therapy/a support group, or both. I know that a lot of the soldiers I work with don't like individual therapy, but get a lot out of group therapy/support groups and having peers they can relate to, share with, and learn from. Him being prepared for the stress of the new baby and knowing healthy ways to cope before the baby even comes is going to go a long way.
I am also a supporter of medication in combination with therapy. It might take a lot of trial and error, but the right medication regimen can help get a person in the right place to where therapy can be even more effective. Unfortunately, a lot of the medications can take weeks to feel the effects and many people want to give up before then.
My husband doesn't have PTSD, but there are some things that trigger memories from his deployment. He was a PL when he deployed, so when we had the baby monitor set up in our room, we had to turn it off. Every time a noise would come through the monitor, it would remind him of the radios he had to listen to during the deployment. Fortunately DS' room is right across from ours, and we can hear him every time he makes a peep.
It could be little things like that, which can trigger a reaction. Since I don't have much experience, I won't comment any more on this topic since it can be very sensitive. GL with everything!!
I'm not a veteran's wife but I am a veteran's girlfriend. He has PTSD and a TBI. My daughter is 18 months old and wakes up crying and it doesn't bother him. He is on meds to help with the nightmares and they seem to help a lot.
Before he was on meds I couldn't tell you as I wasn't with him at the time. But from what he tells me it was a very difficult time for him and he would wake up yelling commands and night sweats, etc.
HI! My husband has done 3 deployments in Iraq and currently we are preparing for number 4 to Afghanistan. My husband I believe has signs of PTSD although has not been medically diagnosed. After each deployment he has come home changed and not the same man who left me. That of course is to be expected.
He is amazing with our daughter and a great father. Over the course of his deployments I've realized that his patience has wore down quite a lot and I notice it with DD. It's not so much lately but when she was first born and cried a lot he would get frustrated with her and I would step in and take her and give him a break. Don't get me wrong, I know he would NEVER physically cause harm to our DD but I know that the man he was before deployments was so calm tempered and easy going.
I'm not a veteran's wife but my SO is a veteran. He has PTSD and a TBI. We've got 3 toddlers so obviously there's a lot of crying that happens in our house. He's fine when the kids cry at night though sometimes it makes him jump up out of bed (it's the noise that takes him off guard, not the crying). I have noticed his patience is a little lacking and he is somewhat quick to anger still. Both of those things have gotten WAY better with time and energy and therapy. I'm better at handling long crying jags or sick needy babies but he's right there with me the whole time.
You know your H. Listen to your gut when it tells you to be weary about something. There are definitely triggers associated with PTSD. I know SOs. If more than 2 toddlers are crying at the same time he needs major help or he panics and I cannot walk in the bedroom when it's completely dark. If one of the kids needs me at night I go down and care for them. Then I have to turn on some sort of light before going back into the bedroom because a figure approaching in the dark freaks him the F out. He's a wonderful father and is totally fine with all the kids, crying included.