Another Red-Shirting/Starting a Year Later Post
Aimathy
member
I wrote a post awhile back because it was the first time that I had heard of holding back your child when entering Kindergarten, to give them some sort of advantage in the present or future. Well, I'm hearing about this SO MUCH in my area and I am very worried now about what to do with DD.
DD is 3 and has a July birthday. The cut-off in our district is October 1st. She would be going into Kindergarten in Sept of 2013 if we just followed the cut-off. I was fully prepared to send her then. I know she will be a "younger" five when she starts, but I figured that she is bright and articulate now and I have no reason to think that she will not be ready for Kindergarten when the time comes.......except for what I'm hearing now.
There are many parents that I'm speaking to who are either holding back their kids or know of parents that are holding them back when entering K. I completely understand that in some cases, there are children (esp those close to the cut off) that may need some extra maturity and/or readiness and should wait for K to their benefit. BUT, in our area, most of these children are smart, doing well in Pre-K AND are no where near the real cut off....and their parents are still holding them off a year. They want their kids to be the oldest/strongest/smartest in the class. I have spoken to at least 3 parents that even have May or June children and are waiting!!! That means that their child will be SIX and FIVE MONTHS old when they start! Is it me, or is this absurd? And there are many, many more that are within a few months of the cut off which means that there stands to be more than half of her class with children that are six or turning six within the first few months.
Now, I've heard parents say that they want their kid to have an academic 'advantage' and not be the youngest/smallest/slowest etc of their class. However, if your child is six....and the curriculum is designed to teach five year olds.....is it really that impressive if your child is doing well in Kindergarten? Shouldn't they BE doing that well, since they're a whole year older than the curriculum calls for? I truly don't mean to insult anyone that is doing this....we all have our own reasons for doing what we do as parents, but I'm just worrying about the consequences of this, especially in terms of my daughter and the other five year olds.
So if many/half of the kids are fully six early on, and the rest are turning six...and they're completing a curriculum designed for five year olds....isn't it safe to say that most of them will be bored? And when I think through this cycle, then I would have to say that what is likely to happen is that they will be bored and then teachers will either increase the amount of work or the intensity of the work so that those kids will be challenged. Many of you will mention "differentiated instruction" but the bottom line is that when a teacher looks at a group of kids, there are going to be the "haves" and the "have nots" or the "able-to" and "not-able to"s. And basically, by "upping" the intensity/amount of work, it will be turning Kindergarten into an early version of first grade, which is just ridiculous (and stressful) for a newly 5 year old!
And this is where I'm very worried. As I said, DD will be freshly five. She would already have been one of the youngest of her class normally, but in this skewed setting....she is likely to be over a WHOLE YEAR YOUNGER than most of her classmates. (and we all know what a huge, huge difference a year makes at these young ages.) So, there's a chance that maturity wise, or coping/adjusting, or learning a new concept quickly, could already have been a challenge for her as being the younger. If she is a full year younger than her classmates, I am very worried now that she is going to have more trouble getting concepts or that she is going to look more needy or "baby-ish" compared to them....even though she's the correct age for that classroom! So what should be a year of her developing and growing at her own rate, could wind up being a year that makes her feel inferior or less adequate because she can't run with the big dogs that really, are a whole year older. I don't want her self-esteem to suffer because of this. Does this make sense?
I know I could also hold her back, but to be honest, the thought of her going into K as a 6 year old bothers me. She WOULD be bored. So it feels like a no-win situation...start her "on time" and she may always be the baby and/or struggle even though that's where she should be.....or I know I could hold her back too, but that doesn't sound any better to me, and personally, I wouldn't be overly excited that she mastered material that was a year younger than was expected of that age range.
I realize this is getting long, but I'm so stressed about this. Two parents I know spoke to our elementary principal about this, and she admits that this is a growing problem. They are working on solutions to it, but for now, it can be done and she says it is being done often. Then, to put my worries in perspective, one parent asked her what she is doing with her own twins who are in 4 yr old PreK and she said she is still debating, but may hold them back!
I'm so frustrated that this is already a stress, and she's not even out of 3 year old Pre K yet! 
Any advice or comments would be appreciated.
Re: Another Red-Shirting/Starting a Year Later Post
I can see where that can be frustrating. Those parents are doing what they think is best for their individual child and you will have to decided for yours. I am sure (wait for it) the teachers use differential instruction to reach each child. Its not necessarily a 5 year old curriculum. I know that here they separate by reading groups based on the Fontis Pinnelle scale (ABCDE, etc readers). I agree though from what I read on the nest that some of it is getting out of hand. (So, glad I don't have to deal with this with my Sept and Jan boys).
My DD is 9 days before the cut off in TX. Luckily, I live in a rather somewhat rural and somewhat poorer small town and its just not common at all red-shirt. The district also offers Prek3 and Prek4. Maybe that is helpful? IDK.
My DD's BFF is 1 day after the cut-off. They are in the same class and almost exactly one year apart. DD's BFF tends to be a bit immature...so it works out but I can tell you it is this year (not in KG) that I have notice the social difference between my child and the other girls. It's sometime during age 6 (toward the end?) that the princesses are dropped and iCarly, Hannah Montana, Big Time Rush, Justin Bieber are much more influential. My DD still loves Tangled which for some of the girls in the class (particularly those with older sisters also), it is babyish but DD has a lot of confidence, she is very social and hasn't seem to have any issues with being called a "baby" or anything like that. The kids around here tend to be very respectful (its also a military town).
DD is in a mid level reading group and her BFF who is a year older is in a higher group, not sure who is in the lower (age wise). Academically, DD is getting all A's this year (both report cards so far) and as of yet no social issues.
I would def consider sending your DD if she has a lot of confidence and doesn't tend to be shy or any other social traits that might make it harder on her. I know I was shy and a July baby of a SAHM and I had it rough during early elementary but socially and academically-- but teaching/education is so different now.
Good luck with your decision.
Our district cut off is Oct 1 and DS's birthday is early Sept, so he'll be just 5 when he starts K. I have zero plans to keep him back.
Even though he is crazy advanced in some areas, he's very average and even slightly behind in others. He's begin reading and we focus on phonics for fun, but he's still struggling with appropriate reactions to someone taking a toy from him. Even though he's fully PT'd, he still can't pull up his pants without assistance and we haven't even begun eaching him how to wipe himself. There isn't a doubt in my mind that all of these things will take care of themselves in the next 2 years.
I'm quite looking forward to K since it's full day public school and I won't have a daycare bill any longer LOL
My Bday is sept - the cut off when I went to school was Jan 1. I started school at 4 turning 5. I was smart and always ahead in my class academically but behind socially. I switched districts in 11th graded and there I would have missed the Sept 1 cutoff. I was more behind socially but still fine acedemically. Most of my close friends were a grade behind me some friends be younger. I had some older friends. WHen I went to college I was the oldest of my close friends all had late birthdays and went to districts with late cutoffs or were skipped ahead.
However, I wouldn't want to be held back I learned to find friends who were similar to me. I think I would have been extremely bored if I was held back and I woul have gotten into a lot of trouble because I wasn't challenged - this happen sometimes. I think you should start your child according to the schools cutoff and socially she will find her place.
DD will be turning 5 the end of July and starting K that September. I am not redshirting her. She's doing great in pre-K. We do activity books at home. I think if I kept her back and redshirted her, she'd be bored out of her mind by the time she started K at 6.
I think redshirting is a parents call. I know 2 people that redshirted their sons due to maturity levels and are doing very well in K at age 6.
Like the other poster said, I'm sure DD will progress very well over the next year and by age 5, be doing things on her own that she still needs help with. (pants buttons, butt wiping, etc)
Way, way back in the day ... my sister was bored in class, she was a Feb birthday and I was bored in class with a March birthday. She was actually skipped in 2nd grade - I KNOW an unheard-of concept in today's day-and-age. But she *gasp* excelled in high school and college.
My DD is a January birthday and will be put in school "on time". So, according to your math equation, will only be 6 months older than your child.
Not everyone will be this towering hulk over your kid. Lots of them will be born throughout the year, not just July-October.
The whole red-shirting thing started because of sports - to wait a year to gain physical bulk. It's not entirely unbased in college/professional sports. Its just not grounded in academics and achievement. From personal experience, it was horrible to be bored.
There was a NY Times article out recently saying that red-shirting could have a negative impact on your child. Basically, they learn from what they're exposed to and what's around them...their fellow classmates included. So if they are constantly exposed to material and behaviors younger than them, it's hard for them to really progress forward to their fullest potential.
We debated back and forth about this with DS this year. He missed the 3 yo preschool class cut off by 1 week. He technically should have gone into the 2 yo class. The school actually encouraged us to enroll him in the 3yo class, saying that he will learn so much from the older kids. So far, we've seen that to hold true. He was a late talker and was still speaking in 2-3 word phrases when he started this year. You couldn't really hold a conversation with him unless you were talking to him about Thomas. But just 2 months later (and it could just be personal development, but I really feel like his more articulate classmates have helped tremendously), he is speaking in long sentences, will go back and forth in converasation with us.
It could become a non-issue. In our area, the talk is that red-shirting will not be allowed.
I am not sure how they can enforce that, becuase if you don't enroll in school, what can they do. But interesting.
My girls are also 3 and July babies. Right now I plan on enrolling them in VPK (voluntary pre kindergarten, offered by the state of FL) next year and then Kindergarten when they are young 5's. The cut off here is Sept. 1st, so they will be some of the youngest in their class. Right now they are in preschool 3 year old class and they are the youngest in their class of 12. They are excelling in the class. They are the least clear speaking in the class, but they were also non-verbal at age 2, so to be caught up on language completely and just a bit behind on clarity is pretty good for being the youngest in their class. Academically (if you can even evaluate that at this age) they are doing great. They are really picking up socially as well since the other kids can now understand them better when they talk to them, they have many friends in the class. We still deal with them preferring each others company (expected with twins), but I think that will work itself out in the next year or so as they are exposed to more kids their own age.
My DH was a July baby and he started young and it did not effect him at all. He was on the smaller side growing up, but he excelled academically, he was at the top of this class and graduated at 17. He said if he would have been held an extra year he probably would have been very bored in school, which he sometimes was even at a younger age. I think if your child is not emotionally ready to enter than yes, there is a need to hold them back. But I don't agree with holding them back when they are really ready, just to give them an edge over the other children years down the road.
I have been told that K is the new first grade. I have a DD that will be 3 in July and will go into preschool next fall. I have no intention at this time to hold her back. I think there has been too much redshirting and it has caused some negative consequence. I see more people doing it as the norm because everyone else seems to do it and they don't want their child to suffer. It's a domino effect. Some random person told me I should hold DD because she was a summer baby. He doesn't even know her so I see that as being the attitude around me. It's a shame.
I take no issue with parents that see that their child needs the extra year. Nothing wrong with that but I don't always think parents make the choice based on their unique child but based on the school and the hopes that they will be more advanced later on and that frustrates me a bit.
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Here are my thoughts. Your kid, you know her best.
My oldest is a February birthday, so not an issue.
My middle son was born on Dec 26th with a cut off of Dec 31st. He is being held out. But he is still in speech therapy & there is no way he is ready for Kindergarten next fall. He is doing really well in preschool, but we have decided that it will be best to hold him out. He is not ready, especially socially.
My youngest will most likely be held out. I have already decided to only send him two years to preschool & he will not start when he is 2 next fall. He has a Sept birthday. This has nothing to do with sports (they are on the smaller side anyway). I will officially decide in the summer (he does have a spot in preschool being held for him just in case, and he could always go three years if necessary as his preschool does have a pre-K program).
Our decision is based on a few things: they are boys, three at college at the same time (ouch), and their personalities.
DD will be starting K when she is 6. The cut off here is Aug 31st, and her birthday is Aug 8th, so she is close to the cut off anyway. Since birth she has always been behind in gross motor skills and was moderately delayed with speech. She is the youngest in her K-3 class, and while she has definitely made strides catching up, and does great socially/behavior wise, she tends to be behind the other kids in cognitive and motor skills. She's always just kind of taken her time with things, and I don't want her to struggle in school. Her preschool offers K3-K5, so I'm happy that she will get to stay in this program for 3 years and then hopefully she'll be completely ready to start kindergarten.
I do understand your frustration though- I don't understand holding a child back if they are academically advanced (or even average) and ready maturity wise. And IMO the May and June (and earlier) birthdays that are holding back are pushing it. But the cutoff is an average, and not every kid is ready even if they make the cutoff date.
I do want to add since we just met with my son's preschool teachers yesterday (he is in the school system preschool for a speech delay). While academically he is ready on paper, they also (shocked) agree with holding him back! I am so excited too, they feel that socially he is not ready yet & have invited him to attend another year of preschool next year.
I am a K teacher in FL. In my county, redshirting is not popular (yet anyways). Our cutoff is Sept 1. This year I have a lot of students who have already turned 6, in October or November. I also have one who just turned 5 at the very end of August. I find that the older students generally do better academically and socially. This year especially, I notice the big difference maturity wise between the students, but again there is almost a whole year age difference between them.
I think it is a tough situation, because I understand your concern for not wanting your LO to be so far behind in age than the others. I understand wanting to redshirt if your child is immature or has other academic issues where it might be better to wait. But I think it is ridiculous that other parents are redshirting in hopes that their children will be the best in class. The K curriculum now is more like 1st grade- they are expected to be reading and writing by the end of K. I think you should ask the principal or other administration about what other options you may have. Like the pp said, you can always enroll your LO and request that they repeat if they do not do as well socially as you had hoped. I have a repeater in my class this year, who was academically fine to go on to first but his mother requested he spend another year in K for social reasons.
Red-shirting permanently depresses IQ by a few points. It very mildly raises achievement in hs according to SOME studies, but others show that the effect disappears by middle school.
We homeschool. My son is radically accelerated. He'd be an AMAZING 3rd grader but is an above average 7th-9th grader--low As and an occasional B. I think that challenges people can handle are a thousand times more helpful than easy successes.
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