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Multiples
Do you read all "the books?"
For sleep issues I read tons of books trying to figure out how to get my babies to sleep. Sometimes I wonder if they would have figured it out on their own had I just left the books aside and not tried so hard.
We're getting ready to potty train and I am thinking what method should I use, what book to get. Also while an adorable, loving boy Eli tends to be a strong willed troublemaker and someone suggested I get "The Strong Willed Child." as I'm thinking about these things I wonder, what in me feels like I need a book or a method to do everything. Haven't parents been figuring out infant sleep and potty training and dealing with strong willed children for years. Why do I need all these books?
So I'm just curious how many of you read the books. Or do you just go with the flow? Fwiw I am generally a pretty Type B, go with the flow sort of person.
Sorry for poor formatting, on a phone.
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Re: Do you read all "the books?"
I've read a lot of the books. My family was of the "they'll sleep when they're tired" school of thought with baby sleep and so was DH's. We were both babies that never slept (day or night) and we knew we needed some different methods than what we had in our families because we wanted and needed our babies on a schedule and sleeping. I know that for mine, had we been go-with-the-flow, it would have been disaster because I've got two very different children that are very different sleepers. If left to their own devices to figure it out, I don't think we'd be STTN at a year old. Some kids would but mine wouldn't.
I read a book when my oldest son was a newborn - I think it was The Baby Whisperer? - and it just made me feel like a total failure. Like there were all these things I should be doing, and if I wasn't, I was a bad mom. I threw it away. I pretty much parent on instinct now, especially after having the twins. Is my family healthy and happy? Okay, then we're doing a good job. I don't feel like a book can teach you anything - you know what works for your family and every child requires unique parenting. I don't believe there is any one size fits all solution - be nice if there was!
I think it depends on your personality and learning style (and somewhat whether you encounter unusual issues that might be harder to figure out on your own). For me, I like reading about a range of approaches and then picking and choosing what makes the most sense to me. I also enjoy reading research to be able to factor that into my decisions. I definitely don't research every little thing, but the things that are major/important to me.
HSHHC did make a HUGE difference for us though. Literally the day we started following it, we had a dramatic change in napping and being able to put them down drowsy but awake without having to soothe them to sleep. It was definitely worth the read for me!
This is true for me, too!
I read a Baby Wise and HSHHT. I think they both helped me a lot. It definitely depends on your learning style. I was more inclined to read something than to chat about various methods with friends, so that's one difference.
Regarding Strong Willed Child - my parents read that in the early 80s when they were having problems with me! They loved that book and have recommended it to my friends who have had difficulties with their toddlers/kids.
During my pregnancy, I read 12 books on babies, parenting, twins, etc. I felt like with twins, I needed to be armed with information and strategies or it would be chaos. I was kinda hard-lined at first, but my LOs stayed on a schedule, the SAME schedule, napped in their cribs, BF well, and all that structure kept me sane.
Now my best friend just had twins (random, I know), and she's a type B. Her life is chaos. They rarely sleep, sleep at different times, eat at different times... her work is never done and her husband is ready to throw in the towel. Yet, I can't tell her "just do xyz like I did" because that's just not in her personality. She has to find her own way, and she will.
I know everything the books say isn't gospel. You have to pick and choose what works for you of course, but I will probably read 3 books each on toddler discipline and potty training and everything else. A lot of the techniques I've read about have really worked.