Major vent...DH friend left me in tears! (m/c mentioned)

adoruhbul · November 2011

My husband has a bestfriend who lives in Israel, since that's where my husband is from. Today, they were talking online, they hadn't spoken in a few weeks and he updated him on the second m/c. Unfortunately we were talking to him together on Google so my husband couldn't delete the message without me seeing his horrible comments.

His response was that we needed to give my body a break to heal, that I was too young and it obviously isn't meant to be at this time. He said the reason we are miscarrying is because we are putting too much pressure on the situation. When my husband said that our babies aren't dying because we are putting too much pressure on it, he responded with, "Well, it's not like YOU'RE dying"

I'm seriously beside myself right now, how could he say such things?? He ended the conversation telling us I was too young and we haven't been married that long and we should wait awhile. I sort of flipped out and said that the only reason he is saying these things is because his wife is almost at her due date and never had any losses, so he doesn't possibly understand what we're going through...which probably was evil and went way too far, but I was so shocked.

So sad . He privately later told my husband that he's doing wrong by me, by being emotional, and that he should tell me it's not a big deal, so I will "get over it". UGH

Bethany1026 · November 2011

I'm sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant asshat!! It is completely normal for you and your DH to be sad and emotional. (((HUGS)))

keliser · November 2011

What a *** face.... Im sorry he hurt your feelings. He sounds like an insensitive turd.

kaleidoskpeyez · November 2011

Ugh, I am so sorry that you had to deal with such a horribly insensitive jackass. I agree with PP... asshat!

(((hugs)))

Laurakat81 · November 2011

That is awful. I'm so sorry. I must say i obviously wish no one would ever have another loss but I really pray this man's wife never has a loss, can you imagine the awful things he'd say to her?!

He has no clue and there is no getting through to someone like that. (((hugs)))

buckeyebaby814 · November 2011

I am so sorry you have had to deal with that b/s! All those are awful to say, especially to someone dealing with IF/Loss. I wonder if your husband's friend has no clue about women's feelings, let alone understanding as a friend about IF/loss. Is part of it cultural? I don't know much about Israeli culture and obviously your DH isn't an as$h@t so maybe his friend just is, but maybe it's a cultural POV things. Not that it makes it ok though. ::HUGS::

Trish11278 · November 2011

Wow. How could this be a "friend"? This is the reason why people are scared to share their IF struggles with their family and friends. I am so sorry you had to read that and deal with that @ss!

memerson83 · November 2011

Thats awful I'm so sorry you had to deal with that

Mickeyjazz · November 2011

OMG.... I'm sooo sorry that he said those things! Some guys very much use the "mochismo" method when it comes to emotions. (((HUGS)))

kmc84 · November 2011

Wow.... Just wow! I am so sorry you were subjected to that horrible, insensitive jacka$$! I hope you never need to hear anything from that man again! {{big hugs}}

tgreenf · November 2011

Wow, I am kinda at a loss for words on that one. That is terrible!! I am so sorry you had to hear that. Ugh, I hate ignorant people!

nycitygirl1 · November 2011

So sorry sweetie. (((Hugs))) What an insensitive prick and what ignorant, uncompassionate comments.

JenniatONU · November 2011

I'm sorry you had to see those hurtful comments.

I also am "too young" and "too recently married" to be concerned about conceiving. It's like getting slapped in the face, twice. Not only are you having difficulties and tragedies, but then they try to blow it off.

I don't tell people when to have children, but once they hear I'm dealing with 3TC, it seems to give people the ok to start doing it to me. I don't get it. It's not like my age is going to make my hardships any less easier.

I wish you the best, and I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

loulou182 · November 2011

I'm sorry that you had to read those insensitive things he was saying about you. What an awful thing to say. I think I would totally lose it and go bat-***-crazy on the guy. He had no right to say any of those things.

Big ((((hugs))))

sunshine823 · November 2011

OMG! I am sooo sorry

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