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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Sleep training fail
I've been trying my hardest to sleep train LO. For the last 2 weeks or so I've been trying to put LO down drowsy but awake for naps and bedtimes. for the first 4 days or so he did very well and its been all down hill from there. for the last 5 days its been HELL! he has screamed himself to sleep weather I'm with him or not. I've been putting him down awake and patting him tummy and shhhing untill he falls asleep and picking him up to calm him down if needed. He refuses to do this and now puts his arms up and gets a terrified look on his face whenever i put him down awake. I don't know where this has come from. I've never let him CIO for more than a minute or so in the last 2 weeks and thats only when i just need a min to compse myself. He is a very sensitive little boy and has been very shy and scared of anyone other than mom and dad lately.
So today I caved and rocked him to sleep, then put him into his crib. He slept an hour for his first nap and almost 2 for his last nap! He hasn't done this in a month. Its usually 20-45 mins. I'm thinking hes going through a clingy phase and needs extra attention and reasurance. Anyone else fail with sleep training? please tell me I'm not the only one! I'm planning on trying again when he reaches 6 months. He just turned 5 months yesterday.
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Re: Sleep training fail
I am not the biggest fan of sleep traning. At all. Do what works for you and call it a day.
I also never saw the big deal in rocking a baby for a bit. My LO fails miserably at drowsy but awake. However, at nap she falls asleep at the end of her bottle and at night after about 2 minutes of rocking. It's just as easy as the host of other things people say I'm supposed to be doing.
I think this is one of those moments where you need to read your baby. Each baby is different. DS1 always had to be rocked to sleep and we did until he was 2! And it was amazing because my husband I enjoyed that time with him and he slept through the night too. DS2 doesn't need it. in fact, he gets restless if you rock him for too long and he starts fussing and won't calm down until you put him in the crib and he can put himself to sleep.
Give yourself a break. Rock him to sleep or do what you need to do. Unless he's up all night long, I'm not sure why you need to sleep train.
I'm going to start by saying that I'm a fan of sleep training because it worked for us. But I'm also going to say that if it ain't broke, don't fix it!! We started sleep training as a preventative measure, but that was starting at 6 weeks. It's much harder to do later on, and if your baby is sleeping well and you don't mind spending the extra time rocking him to sleep, I say keep on keepin' on.
That said, if you're still set on sleep training, know that there is more to it than "drowsy but awake." You should pick a book with a good reputation (I recommend Ferber or Healthy Sleep Habits, but read reviews to see if something fits your style) and read it before starting sleep training.
I also want to add that while it's only natural for you to feel that your baby is going through a clingy phase, is shy and sensitive, and needs attention and reassurance, this is not what's really going on developmentally, at least not during bedtime. Not at five months. What's going on is that he knows by now that when you put him down, it's bedtime. Babies (and children) would rather play with you and spend time with you than go to bed. They love you! He is crying because he's upset that playtime has to be over, not because he's scared that you're going to leave and abandon him. The second is a concept that he's not developmentally capable of having. The first is. He's also capable of learning that if he cries when you put him down, his crying can cause you to pick him back up. So your picking him back up reinforces the crying when you put him down.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but if you do choose to sleep train, don't feel like you're abandoning your baby when you put him to bed! I assure you he doesn't feel that way.
I'm a fan of sleep training only because it worked wonders for us. We read Ferber's book and started just last Friday. For a few days now he is going to sleep on his own without even fussing and sleeping until 7:00am without waking. Backtrack a week ago and we were shaking / rocking LO for 30-45 minutes each time he would wake (at least 2-4 times per night). He would cry and fuss even when we rocked him....this is why we started sleep training. It was too hard on all of us.
2 pieces of advice I'll give....first is that you have to believe that your LO is ready for it and you have to be ready for it. Second is that you have to pick a method and be consistent. If you choose Ferber you have to start and follow through with it.
Do what you feel is right for you and your family.
I also am not a fan of the CIO or sleep training in general but you have to do what works for your family.
But I will say comming up to our boys 5 months he went through about 2 weeks of clingy and we reverted back to co-sleeping then putting in the crib after his middle of the night feeding and then when he wakes again he would end up back to co-sleeping, it varried daily now he is back to his crib again which is great as I now can sleep more comfortable and dont get kicked lol.
Anyway do what works and hopefully its just a snuggly faze and it will pass