Alright ladies, I'm at my breaking point and I need some help. I'm now working 4 days a week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday) 8pm to midnight. It's going well, but I feel like I have no time for myself and no time to get anything done. I feel very strongly about sending Kate to preschool 2 days a week next year, so quitting is not an option. I need some suggestions on how to be more efficient with my time.
Problem one- personal time for crafting. I need some time to work on crafts/ scrapbooking for my sanity. Kate's not a good napper at all. Some days she will nap, but it's about 50/50. I try to impose some quiet time, but it's not going well. Bigger problem is that DH and I share an office and he works from home. All of my craft supplies are in the office, so even on the days that Kate takes a nap I still don't have access to them. Working on our dining room table isn't really an option because I don't want Kate destroying my pages and I have a metric ton of scrapbooking supplies that aren't easily moved. I used to work on them after Kate went to bed, but that's not an option anymore.
Problem two- I want to start working out. We don't have a gym membership and neither that nor a jogging stroller are in the budget. Maybe some kind of work out DVD? Suggestions? It would need to be pretty quiet as we have a very open floor plan. Even unloading the dishwasher is too loud for Kate if she's napping. Kate and I try to go on walks, but let's just say that her pace is not exactly aerobic.
Problem three- housekeeping. Mainly the dinner dishes. I am so *&(^&*(ing frustrated about doing the dinner dishes at midnight. DH does the cooking for us and I had a wee bit of a rant the other day when I told him just to make us sandwiches for dinner on nights when I have to work. He took this to mean eating out and frozen pizzas, neither of which are in the least bit healthy for us or Kate. Plus, it still looks like a bomb went off in the d@mn kitchen. I'm thinking that maybe if I took over the cooking, he could take over the dishes? Not sure how well that will go over, but it's a thought. So, suggestions for really easy, vegetarian, healthy meals? Maybe something in a crockpot? They all seem to have meat though.
If you've made it through this whole rant, you deserve a medal.
Re: Help me with my Time Management- long
"The House We Built."
A journey of building the dream.
Dishes: Would it bother you to wake up to dirty dishes? If not, perhaps you could throw everything in the sink to soak and wash it in the morning while Kate is eating breakfast? What about eating earlier and cleaning up while Kate is in the bath (presumably w/ DH)? On nights that I work, we eat at 6, finish by 7 and DH takes both the kids upstairs while I get my act together for an hour (relaxing, if I need to, doing dishes, folding up laundry,etc). Could DH not do the dishes on those nights? What is he doing from the time goes to bed until he goes to bed?
He's doing NaNoWriMo which is a whole 'nother rant outside of the scope of this post. I'll be glad when November is over, though I think he's personally extending his by 2-3 weeks because he wants to write a 100K novel this year.
I'm not ready to go back to teaching next year (and I'm not convinced I could find a teaching job if even if I wanted to.) Due to a variety of reasons with my other part time job (Abby starting K, Emily starting MDO) I need to supplement my income next year because my hours will be going down. DH does not make enough to pay our bills on his income alone and no amount of couponing is going to make up the difference.
I understand what you're saying about finding a balance though. I'm just having a hard time figuring it out.
I'm not sure why it bothers me so much to have dirty dishes on nights that I work. I have dirty dishes plenty of mornings when I don't work. Hmm...
Freeze ahead meals are a good idea. I'll look up some recipes.
crock pot meals, too. you just have one pot to clean.
1. I don't have an answer for that one. I have little time to craft, too. I just make do with the time I've got.
2. Can you try to find a cheap jogging stroller somewhere? Or borrow one from someone? Could you do one of those pod cast thingies and put your earbuds on (I know nothing about this, so I'm not sure if that even exists).
3. I always try to get dinner on the table by 6 or 6:30. This gives us time to eat, clean the boys up, get them jammied, and chill for a bit before book time and bed. During this time I'm always able to at least get the dishes rinsed and ready for loading into the dishwasher (which I do in the morning if I don't get to it after dinner). But I am not bothered by dishes in the sink as long as they are rinsed off. I refuse to do anything after my shift unless I am done early.
:-)
Take this with a grain of salt, as I'm still sans baby, but here are my thoughts.
1. Could you get a big storage bin and put a lot of your crafting stuff in there? At least, the stuff you are currently using? Then maybe y'all could work together on craft stuff, Kate could have her own age appropriate stuff, and you could easily swoop your stuff back in there to put it away. If you have company, then take the bin back to the office. And then it would be more accessible to use during nap/quiet time.
2. What about yoga while she naps? When she is up, you could get your heart rate up by chasing her outside, making obstacle courses that you and she can both do, or dancing hard for thirty minutes. Who knows, maybe if she gets that active she might be more likely to nap.
3. I agree with pp about the crockpot and one dish meals. That is my go to with work, as I'm too tired most nights to cook. I often make two things on Sundays and we then have leftovers during the week and fill in with easy stuff (quesadillas, bottled soup, sandwiches, salads.)
Hope that helps! Sounds like you need more hours in a day. Let me know when you find them.
I know your DH is doing NaNoWriMo, but that doesn't mean he can check out for an entire month (or two as it sounds) of the year. I think him doing dinner dishes while you work is a perfectly acceptable trade off and it would piss me off to no end that he wouldn't do them. It takes what, 15 minutes at most to do dishes? He can stay up 15 minutes later to write without it throwing off his schedule *too* much.
As far as finding balance, it's hard. I'm going to put together a little easy to do at home, 30-minute workout for you and I'll email you it tomorrow. Working out is not something that I think anyone should sacrifice, no matter how many directions they are pulled in!! The Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred is a great video too. I can't find mine right now, but if I can you're more than welcome to borrow it!!
I like the pp's suggestion of putting your crafting stuff in a bin and then having craft time with Kate. She could work on her stuff while you work on yours. I think if you really were strict that she's not to touch Mommy's stuff, she'd listen (eventually).
As for easy dinners, what if you made a big pot of quinoa (or some other starch) and roasted a bunch of veggies on Sunday. You could definitely eat off of that Sunday/Monday/Tuesday and then just broil some fish in the evening before dinner. Wednesday since you're off you could all cook together and then Thursday could be a night where M takes over - he might not make what you would, but if Kate has a complete meal, I wouldn't worry about it too much!
They make crockpot liners that you could use for easy cleanup too...What about foil packets for fish? Even lining cooking sheets with foil really cuts down on the clean up time.
(((hugs))) I know how hard it is to find balance! You can do it though!
Lots of great suggestions! Thanks girls! I think I might take Kate up to the library tomorrow morning and we'll look at some crock pot cookbooks.
Libby, I would love some workout suggestions. I can try to fit it in while Kate is "napping."
1. can't help much with this one. i have no hobbies anymore now that i'm a working and sahm
i do set aside 2 nights minimum per week for church small group or social activities. i do NOT work those evenings.
2. working out- i think a video would be a great idea! does kate have a monitor in her room? could you bring a laptop outside and do the video on the back porch or something so you aren't being loud inside? i've done a video before with the girls running around the backyard with me
3. i cook dinner, we eat around 5:30, then i do the dishes while dh bathes all 3 girls. i'm done with the dishes about the same time he is pulling them out of the bath. it works for us! my issue isn't with dishes, it is with keeping up with the laundry of 5 people. don't get me started. lol
You were hired for seasonal work, yes? I only bring it up because if you are asked to continue on at BV the likeliness of you getting to keep your current schedule is slim to none. You will probably have to switch to a nights/weekends schedule. While I agree that you should try and figure something out to keep the peace with your DH, just keep in mind that whatever you decide to do now will probably have to change if you keep working at BV.
That being said.....
1. I don't really have a good suggestion for this since I'm not a hobbyist, but can you craft on the weekends when DH isn't working? Is crafting during her (sometimes) naps the ONLY time you get?
2. I've been pinning a bunch of stuff on Pinterest for workouts you can do at home. They're really easy and don't require traditional gym equipment - maybe you could start with something like that? For me, just moving around for 20-30 minutes is better than nothing and is EASILY something I can do when DD is awake, too.
3. My DH is the same as you when he cooks - he somehow manages to use every single pot/pan we have available. I try to stay in the kitchen to "help" when he's cooking and will try and clean as we go - if he's done with a pot/pan, I dump it in the sink (filled with soapy water) so it can get a soak going. We also make a point to eat earlier on the nights when I work at 8. I may or may not get all the dishes cleaned before my shift starts, but I can make pretty good progress and get the really dirty stuff soaking & load the dishwasher with the "not as dirty" stuff. The only request that I ask of DH when I straight up don't have time to get to them is to at least take care of the food - put leftovers away in the fridge and give pots/pans/plates a rinse so food isn't getting crusty. If I have to take care of it at midnight or the next morning at least it isn't as bad.
Here are my suggestions.
1) You still have Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday nights free. Block off craft time after Kate goes to bed on one of those nights. Make it an "appointment" so that your DH will have to be on Kate duty if she wakes up during your crafting time. Of course, I don't know what the bedtime dynamic is or if Kate still nurses during bedtime, but that might work. Also, your DH should schedule writing for NaNoWrMo on the days you are NOT working or crafting.
2) Working out - you can work out in 10 minute increments throughout the day. You can do a 20 minute cardio blast with Kate (dancing, running in the back yard, brisk walk pushing her in the stroller) then incorporate 2 ten minute blocks of stretching or strength training throughout the rest of the day. You'd be amazed what you can do when you multitask. My sister has some resources for 10, 20, 30 minute workouts and I'll see if I can find them and get them to you.
3) I'm the cook in the family and I make a lot of one-pot, slow cooker, and freezer meals. I do my best to clean as I cook. Seeing as how this is not how your DH does it, make it a priority to load the dishwasher as soon as y'all finish dinner. Your DH can manage Kate for 20 minutes while you get it done.
These are my two cents. You've gotten a lot of good advice from all the other posters so hopefully you can take what you need and put together a schedule that works for y'all.