TTC After a Loss

Anbody Else a Little Bummed about Thanksgiving?

Ack.  I just don't want to do it.  I am feeling so bitter.  I should be pregnant and I should be waddling around the kitchen.  Instead, I am messed up on Clomid, tired, and just plain sad. All this family stuff and everyone with their kids is just really exhausting.

I am also 99 percent sure my friend, who has been trying for two, maybe three, months (one of which she saw her husband for only a few days due to living in separate countries) is pregnant.  She didn't tell me, but she kept saying things that were definite hints and she usually uses me as her fertility/TTC confidant and when I asked about her irregular cycles, she said, "Oh, it basically worked out." and her face completely gave her away.  I have known her for a very long time, and she is a horrific liar, so I know something is up.  Lol. I really want to be happy for her, I truly do.  She is a wonderful person.  But, I am struggling right now.  I am sort of glad she didn't come out and say it directly because now I will be prepared when she does.

Anyway, this combined with the holidays has me totally bummed out and feeling kind of inadequate and incomplete.  Please let me know I am not alone out here in mopey-ville.  It has been a long day.  Thanks, ladies.

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Re: Anbody Else a Little Bummed about Thanksgiving?

  • The holidays are sooo difficult for me. You are not alone. Spending so much time with my pregnant sister and cousins, is not something I'm looking forward to. I'm very anxious for the holidays to be over.... Is it 2012 yet?

     

    ((hugs)) to you, girlie. I hope you get through tomorrow okay.  

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    "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it" 
    --Helen Keller 

    4 miscarriages: Nov 2009,  Jan 2011, Sept 2011,  Oct 2012
    IVF Round 1:
    3/4/15: Egg Retrieval
    16 Eggs Retrieved -- 15 Fertilized via ICSI -- 10 Blastocysts Biopsied for PGD & PGS -- 2 (male) Blastocysts Remain for Transfer
    5/13/15: FET -- 5/26/15: BFN
    CANCELLED IVF Round 2.

    Living a happy, child-free life with my best friend.
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  • You are not alone.  This would have been the end of our first trimester, when DH and I would have told the family.  Plus there will be a baby at tomorrows family get together.  It will be hard...I'm planning on having an extra glass of wine!  
    image
    BFP#1 - 09/12/11, EDD 5/18/12 - Stopped growing at 6w3d, m/c induced 10/14/11
    BFP#2 - 04/01/12, EDD 12/12/12, Arrived 12/4/12!!
    BFP#3 - 12/31/13, EDD 09/10/14 - Grow baby, grow!

  • The last two years have been a tough holiday season for me. Tomorrow I will have a houseful of family and friends including a few pg women, babies and a bunch of kids. Not sure how I'm going to get through it. I have a friend I think may be announcing her second pregnancy tomorrow.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • You are not alone!  We had hoped to be able to be able to call our friends and family tomorrow telling them we were thankful for our baby coming in June but that won't be happening any more.  I did share our story on Faces Of Loss Faces Of Hope the other day but it certainly wasn't the announcement we were expecting to make.

    I'm feeling really sad, and like you, I suspect my best friends who has been TTC for a few months is now pregnant.  When I shared our pregnancy early on with another close friend she disclosed that she is also pregnant and I do wish them both healthy pregnancies because I would never wish this on them.  I definitely find myself bitter at times that this spring they'll be welcoming their babies in to the world and we won't.  I keep trying to reminding myself that I do have a lot to be thankful for and that we will have our time eventually to be parents. 

    Hope you (and everyone else here) have a happy Thanksgiving.  My husband and I are going to try and be grateful for the blessings we do have while looking forward to new beginnings in 2012 which will be here before we know it.

    BFP #1 on 10/2/11 - Bambishka's EDD 6/5/12, Blighted Ovum, D&C on 11/9/11
    BFP #2 on 2/10/12 - Little Nugget's EDD 10/23/12, Natural Miscarriage on 2/29/12
    BFP #3 on 6/7/12 - BB's EDD 2/19/13, arrived 2/18/13! <3<BR> Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • You're not alone. I'm trying really hard to be positive, but I can't help thinking I should be 29 weeks pregnant now. This is not how I had imagined this holiday season.
    imageimageimage

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Mother to DD, born sleeping on 9/28/11, and DS, born 3/12/13, 5lbs 13oz, 19in
  • You are so definitely not alone.  We were going to tell our families this weekend and instead I'm still bleeding from my natural m/c.  If I coud drug myself through the rest of this year, I would.

     Hugs. 

    ds #1 | our perfect miracle born 39w1d | 12.9.2009 loss #1 | natural m/c 7/2010 (~8w) loss #2 | chemical pregnancy 6/2011 (4w4d) loss #3 | chemical pregnancy 7/2011 (4w3d) loss #4 | natural m/c 11/2011 (10w1d) RPL Testing 12/2011. Results 100% normal. ds #2 | our 2nd perfect miracle born 36w3d | 12.31.2012
  • I thought I was going well and excited for the holidays, but it has been a horrible day for me. We are hosting Thanksgiving, and I am regretting it now. My goal is to put on a happy face with family tomorrow. I have so much to be thankful for, but I can't help feeling that I should've been ecstatic and pregnant through this season. Hugs to all of you feeling similar! My low point today was crying in a store with all the baby frames, ornaments, pregnant women, it just all hit me!
    August 2015 January Siggy: Favorite Mean Girl

    image

    *BFP #1 9/10/11 Natural m/c 11/1/11 at 11 weeks, 5 days*
    *Diagnosed as unexplained infertility*
    *BFP #2 12/6/14 after IUI#2 Hopeful! EDD 8/14/15*

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • This should be our little girl's first Thanksgiving. Also, yesterday was CD1 after a very hopeful cycle, so I am right there with you in mopey-ville. Sad CD1 last month was on my birthday, and I am set up now for a Christmas BFP or a really sucky present. Man, I hope things turn around for all of us in 2012...
    BFP#1 12/18/10 EDD 8/28/11 | 2/14/11 discovered that our baby girl had anencephaly D&C 2/17/11 at 12.5 weeks | no O or AF post loss - Dx: AO + mild PCOS = secondary infertility Provera after 70 days = AF but no O | Provera + 50mg Clomid after 110 days = AF but no O 3 rounds of 100mg Clomid + Estrogen + Progesterone = mixed O results, all BFN hysteroscopy 1/6/12 - removed fibroid tissue injection cycle #1 - 75 IU follistim + ovidrel (triggered 2/9/12) + endometrin = BFP! EDD 11/3/12 | Beta @ 13dpo = 184, 17dpo = 993, 26dpo = >5000 IT'S TWIN BOYS!! Tommy and Charlie arrived on 9/10/12 after less than 6 hours of labor at 32 weeks Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Hugs to you....I too feel bummed this season, especially as I start thinking about how I should have been x weeks pregnant.
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  • I feel the same way. Granted my whole family knows about my m/c and are supportive, but still, I feel alot of times like I don't even want to talk about it with anyone. I don't want to talk to anybody about anything related to m/c, pregnancy, babies, anything like that. I just want to talk about normal life stuff and not bring up memories or discussions that hurt or depress me :(
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  • Your're definitely not alone. I love the holidays but am definitely feeling a little down. I would have been 11 weeks on Saturday. We're also not with our families tomorrow bc it's just too far to travel. Wah. Trying to summon up some thankfulness but it's definitely hard right now.

    Hang in there. ((hugs))

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  • Tomorrow will be hard for me too, and I know the next several weeks will probably be tough for all of us.  Although I am new here, I am glad to have this board to come to at times like this.  Everyone here can understand what you are going through and will always have an encouraging word for you. 

    I try my hardest not to let others' TTC journeys affect me, or compare them to mine, because at the end of the day I don't know what they have been through.  With that being said though, it doesn't make it any easier to hear friends say they are pg or to be around my friends or cousins who are pregnant.  (((hugs to you))) Holidays are hard and this doesnt make it easier. 

     

    ETA: I re-read the second paragraph and don't want it to sound preachy or anything...I am not trying to say what works for me or what i try to do is what would work for you in your situation. I understand where you are coming from and just wanted to clarify that! 


    ______________________________________________________________________________
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    TTC#1 since 4/11 : m/c in 9/11 & 11/11
    DH dx with Balanced Translocation 5/12 
    Did 3 IVFs - 10/12, 1/13 & 4/13 before
    1 embryo passed PGD and transferred - BFP
    Our beautiful baby girl has arrived!
    S/PAIF Welcome

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  • We would have been at the end of our first tri and were planning to tell the family at dinner tomorrow. I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my parents about our loss yet, which feels strange since I tell my mom everything. It's just so hard because it would first require telling them I was pregnant in the first place... something I was saving until we could tell them in person. (sigh) We just built the moment up so much in our minds and now it's such a letdown. I am honestly dreading tomorrow.
    BFP #1 10/6/11 | EDD 6/15/12 | MMC 11/7/11 @ 8w3d | D&C 11/14/11

    BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13

    BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15

    BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d

    Just keep swimming.
  • To those of you were planning to announce your pregnancies on Thanksgiving, I am so sorry.  I cannot imagine how hard the holiday is for you.  I know it's hard for everyone on here as holidays are supposed to be happy, and we are carrying so much grief with us. 

    It's good that we can come here to "get it out."  I feel so supported.  Thank you very much.  You have helped a lot.  

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you all tomorrow.  We will get through it, and one day, the holidays will be fun again (or so I choose to believe).  ((hugs))


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  • imagejenek0213:

    Tough for me too. We just suffered our 3rd loss, would have told our family at Thanksgiving dinner. I feel so heartbroken that I don't have happy news to share.

    This, exactly. I usually love, love, love the holidays, but the last two years have been so bad, filled with bad news! This time last year I was pregnant with twins, and I had been planning to tell my family after the new year, only to lose them after being a victim of rape. This year, we were planning to tell our family after we passed the 1st trimester mark, but I had a natural m/c in September. The holidays just feel like SO MUCH right now. I just want to climb under the covers and hide from everyone.

  • yeah... im having trouble being thankful for anything that has happened in the last year.
  • Add me to the list... I'm actually really dreading today. I'll be at my ILs house, so I'm already missing my family (they're in Dallas with my grandparents). Today I'd be 14 weeks and we had planned to tell DH's extended family today. Instead, I'll have to smile and pretend to be excited when everyone talks about BIL and SIL having a baby due in May (2 days after our EDD).

    I hope, for all of our sakes, that today goes better than we think it will. (((HUGS))) to al of you.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    My Blog: One Emerald
    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • ((hugs)) all around. I'm hiding in the bathroom right now so I wouldn't break down in front of everyone. We flew in really late and saw everyone for the first time since the loss when we got up. It's hitting me harder than I expected. The last time I was here was the week got our BFP and we told them. They've been great, but today would have been 15 wks and I just keep thinking of the last trip when we were so excited. My nephew and nieces are so special to be, but snuggling them is making me so sad that I don't have one of my own. Blah. Hopefully I'll get it out of my system now and be able to enjoy the day. I hope you can find some joy, too. (Sorry about formatting as I Bump from my phone)
    photo d55cd10d-0c40-4454-aba7-d1fb776cb4ff_zpsd847719c.jpg

    Married my love 6/11/11 | MMC 10/11/11 | Eliza Frances born 9/18/12 | Rhett Garland born 2/24/14 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  • You are definitely not alone.....I know I should be so thankful for my family and friends and that we are healthy but deep down I know I am missing a part of me and it sucks. I too keep thinking that I should be 6 months pregnant and so excited to have our first baby and now that is all taken away from us and it just hurts so bad. I hate feeling bitter and angry and sad but I just can't help it. The holidays just aren't the same :(   I hope you feel better soon.

    TTC since 7/10, BFP#1~6/28/11(4wks2d)~EDD 3/4/12, missed m/c(8wks)~8/12/11, D&C~8/16/11
    BFP#2~12/15/11~EDD 8/25/12, Hannah born 8/22/12~ 7lbs 10oz & 21 in. long. :)

    BFP#3~1/12/14~EDD 9/23/14, Found out baby is a girl!~4/18/14 :)

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