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Single Parents
mommy2be1991
member
Anyone else?
mommy2be1991
member
I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first and I am absolutely alone on this. I just turned 20 and am working my @$$ off to make things work. I had to leave when I was 16 because of fam. abuse issues, and have made it on my own ever since. I hauled @$$ to finish high school with honours and am accepted to one of the best universities in my city in a program that accepts under 100 students per year. I have gone through hell and back. I love this baby but I am getting completely pissed off at people complaining. I work my ass off to pay rent, and bills and get through this pregnancy and get everything this baby needs by myself. Because the father is a jackass who I can not even get a hold of for the past 6 months. He completely fled town. My family is very non-supportive and I'm doing this alone. I hate hearing about people who are a married couple and complaining and saying they don't think they can do it. I mean, there's two of you, at least you can work together, at least you have the father helping. How can two of you both be unemployed? It just doesn't make sense to me.
I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there who is absolutely alone? As in not co-parenting or anything? I really need someone to relate to, because lately I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm starting to think, if these couples are reconsidering and having such trouble...who am I to think I can do it? 
Thanks for letting me rant.. I just need to let that out...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else?
I have a one year old and am currently 11 weeks pregnant with #2. STBXH is in prison for several years and I am on my own for the most part. I do have the support of my family. But financially I cover myself and children and live on my own so I can relate to an extent.
I also get very upset when people say they can't handle it, or when they complain about being alone with a new baby for one or two nights. My H was in jail with my last pregnancy as well and bailed on me again this time around. I know how hard it is and how lonely it gets. Try not to let your DB EX take off with zero responsibilities. He can't just do that and not expect anything to happen. Contact a lawyer about where to go about handling him.
I can tell you are a very strong woman to be as far as you are all by yourself. Don't let anyone tear you down or degrade you. You are AMAZING. If you want to talk at all or even vent feel free to send me a PM.
You can totally do it. Parenting is hard no matter how many people are raising the child. I understand your frustration with listening about married couples complaining but I would be careful in thinking that they should have it easy and shut up. Dh has been going/gone mental since dd was born. One of my close friends is a single mother with a dd a couple of months older then mine. Even tho there were two of us trying to raise our daughter I am constantly jealous of my friend. From the outside we looked like a happy family that was doing ok. Whenever I complained about some weird tics and behaviors of dh everyone just shrugged it off as nervous daddy. After 9 months of waving red flags in the face of anyone who would listen I finally got a judge to agree that my husband is very sick. While I know my case is extreme how many other happy families have a deadbeat or an alcoholic or a druggie or a lazy, or a depressed other half not pulling any weight but adding more stress to the situation. I do believe that if you want to succeed and be a wonderful mother you can. I just would be careful about thinking the grass is greener or letting the other side of the fence scare you either. Good Luck!
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. You seem like a very strong, intelligent, woman who will get through it.
I'm 28, in school full time working towards a master, unemployed (desperately seeking some job), and single. I question all the time if I'm going to be able to do this, and there are days I don't feel that I will be able to, but then I remember I have come this far and will continue to be strong. Don't get me wrong I get angry at all the "happy" people, I cry, get frustrated, but then I have to remember all those people that look as if they have the perfect life have their own problems too.
I promise it will get better. You will have your ups and downs though. It won't be easy at all, anybody that tells you so is a liar. I also moved out at 16, worked my butt off to support myself, I didn't start college right after high school either. I had to work 3 jobs for some time to save money and make sure I could live off what I earned. It got better. I was eventually able to work one job, go to school, and I bought a house when I was 22 without help from anyone. I'm going through unemployment right now and there are days I flip out wondering what I'm going to do. I remember though, I won't be unemployed forever. I've gone through up and downs all my life, and when I was at point that I thought it was the end and would never get better, some light would shine through.
You are strong, and will be able to do this. I do advise though talk to somebody from your state's department of social services to apply for child support. Keep posting here because you need a support group. The baby's daddy may not be around but that doesn't mean you have to be alone. Find a single mothers support group. I wish you all the best and know that you are going to get through this.