In-Laws wont get the flu shot

snickerdoodle15 · November 2011

My Pedi rec that all grandparents get the flu shot (twins due december), my parents of course got theirs. My husband's parents will not get the flu shot for a variety of reasons, none of which are valid or based on scientific facts. Do you think I should push the issue or not? I sent them back an email with all the medical facts and why it is important but they didnt respond to it. THey are good people but different from me. What have been your experiences or advice?

JosiePosy · November 2011

You can't force people to get a shot. But you can control the environment around the kids. You can insist on hand washing and keeping anyone not feeling well out of your home. You can avoid taking them out as much as possible. It's their decision, but they'll have to understand that you will have to do what's best for your kids.

amanda31H · November 2011

I know I'm going to be in the minority here, but I think it's very over the top to ask people to get vaccinated because you are having a baby.

I'm sure someone can/will come up with some very specific scenarios where I might see it differently. But generally speaking, that's my opinion.

As far as what you can do - I think nothing. Clearly they don't want to get one. I'm not even sure how you would go about "pushing the issue." You already asked them, and then sent them an email with medical facts.

jalaiaa · November 2011

Eh...I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Have them wash their hands and not come over if they are sick. If they don't want to get the flu shot they don't want to get the flu shot.

snickerdoodle15 · November 2011

that actually makes me feel better, the doctor kind of scared me a little and I had never thought about it. They are just very involved with us and will be around the babies alot so I wasnt sure what to do, thanks!

leslie13510 · November 2011

JosiePosy:
You can't force people to get a shot. But you can control the environment around the kids. You can insist on hand washing and keeping anyone not feeling well out of your home. You can avoid taking them out as much as possible. It's their decision, but they'll have to understand that you will have to do what's best for your kids.

This. I actually don't get a flu shot, and haven't in almost 10 years, since time and again my reactions to the shot have far outweighed how I react to the standard flu virus.

You can't make them get flu shots, and you can't push the issue without pissing them off. Make them wash their hands, make sure they know to not come over if they're feeling at all under the weather, make sure people stay out of their faces, and wash your hands as often as possible. That's really about all you can do.

kthappy76 · November 2011

snickerdoodle15:
Do you think I should push the issue or not?

This is obviously your call how far you want to push this, as a parent, but I can't imagine having to fight adults/family on this. It is better for the babies not to be exposed, period. If you have gotten the shot while pg, that offers some protection, but this is something that is easy for them to do to protect their new grandchildren. The flu is most dangerous when contracted < 6 mos. I honestly wouldn't have a hard time telling anyone who was going to spend a lot of time around my children that it was a condition of being around them during flu season, as it is my job to protect my children regardless of what beliefs they may have. So no you can't forcibly make anyone get the shot, but you can have conditions about being around your children during flu season.

violaplayer · November 2011

Whether or not to push the issue, to me, really depends on whether or not they are early.

If they're early and it's winter.... well, the options are shot or not seeing the kids until they're older. Flu in young babies is very serious.

MamaCrystal · November 2011

You can't expect them to get a flu shot... in fact, there are lots of people who don't agree with flu shots in general.

Are you planning to breastfeed? That will give them protection through your antibodies. Also, if you got the flu shot this year, that will give them further protection.

Our girls were born in December. I bf and had the shot while pregnant, so I wasn't too concerned about healthy people being around them.

politelypink · November 2011

I have strongly encouraged my family to get flu shots and to get up to date on pertussis as well. Since I can't control what vaccines everyone has, I'm also planning on keeping a bottle of hand sanitizer on our kitchen island at all times.

MrsLnt · November 2011

If you want to push the issue, you could say that your doctor has recommended you not exposing the babies to people who have not been vaccinated, as the flu is very serious in young infants. We were very careful about taking our babies out and to whom they were exposed and we did request that all grandparents get a flu shot and a pertussis booster, which DH and I did as well. Unless they have some sort of moral or ethical objection or some sort of allergy to the flu shot, I can't understand why they wouldn't want to take a very simple step to protect their grandbabies that will already be vulnerable being so tiny in the winter.

You can't force anyone to get a flu shot but you can limit your children's exposure as you see fit.

Temp6313048411121614 · November 2011

MamaCrystal:
You can't expect them to get a flu shot... in fact, there are lots of people who don't agree with flu shots in general.

Are you planning to breastfeed? That will give them protection through your antibodies. Also, if you got the flu shot this year, that will give them further protection.

Our girls were born in December. I bf and had the shot while pregnant, so I wasn't too concerned about healthy people being around them.

This. Your IL's have a right to get or not to get a flu shot. Of course as the parent you have the right to deny visitation or just asking people to wash their hands. I didn't ask anyone to get a flu shot for my babies born in December.

mommyof4boys · November 2011

amanda31H:
I know I'm going to be in the minority here, but I think it's very over the top to ask people to get vaccinated because you are having a baby.

I'm sure someone can/will come up with some very specific scenarios where I might see it differently. But generally speaking, that's my opinion.

As far as what you can do - I think nothing. Clearly they don't want to get one. I'm not even sure how you would go about "pushing the issue." You already asked them, and then sent them an email with medical facts.

Exactly! I am not getting a flu shot this year and didn't last year. I didn't get my 6 year old boys theirs either. The only reason we got our 4 year old it is because were were told we had to.

MrsClark8109 · November 2011

There are some issues I was a B!TCH about with the ILs-- the 2 that smoke must shower and change shirts before holding LOs...no exceptions. We have a spare shirt here for them if they forget. LOs will not ride with them as they smoke in their cars and the one that smokes in their house LOs will not visit.

The flu shot my DH expected me to be a Nazi on...I insisted that he get it, and I got it...but I left it up to the GPs. My mom and her DH got it and the tDAP booster, the rest of the gps didnt...which is their choice. However, my dad was feeling under the weather and I made him wait until he was 48 hours symptom free to see the LOs...pretty much any under the weather (sniffles, cough, scratchy throat, upset tummy) the rule is 48 hours symptom free to see LOs...

crystaleyes39 · November 2011

I think that's a very personal choice for people to make, that you can't really make for them. I agree with the person who said you can control the fact that they should not be aloud around the babies if they're sick of course..and should always have to wash their hands before holding them.

reillyroowho · November 2011

I think it is completely stupid not to get a flu shot. So many babies die each year from the flu. I think it is completely reasonable to assume that everyone in close vicinity to your family would protect your babies from that. I guess that is an unpopular opinion on this thread but I come from a medical background so....I really hate hearing about infant death due to the flu.

flutepharm87 · November 2011

Flu shot or not, your in-laws could still get sick (from the flu or from something else). Your best course of action would be to establish a firm plan for how you're going to deal with ANYONE who comes into contact with your children. Make sure that everyone washes their hands often, uses hand sanitizer like crazy, avoids kissing/touching/getting into the babies's faces, and avoiding contact with them when they're feeling even slightly less than 100%.

A flu shot is a personal opinion. I feel like everyone should get one unless there's a medical reason why it's a bad idea. But I can't, and won't, force that view onto anyone else. Now, if they refuse to adhere to your hygiene guidelines, I would have a problem. But a flu shot? I'd let it go, it's not worth the fight.

At the end of the day, these are YOUR babies. You have to decide how to best keep your children healthy. Create a plan and stick to it. There are some non-negotiable things that should be in place and you have every right to expect others to follow your wishes or sacrifice seeing them, but I don't think a flu shot should be among those things.

leviandlandensmom · November 2011

amanda31H:

I know I'm going to be in the minority here, but I think it's very over the top to ask people to get vaccinated because you are having a baby.

I'm sure someone can/will come up with some very specific scenarios where I might see it differently. But generally speaking, that's my opinion.

As far as what you can do - I think nothing. Clearly they don't want to get one. I'm not even sure how you would go about "pushing the issue." You already asked them, and then sent them an email with medical facts.

This. I can understand why you'd be worried but I can also understand why they'd refuse. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Um, I'm sorry, you can't meet your grandchildren because you didn't want to get the flu shot. Which isn't even close to 100% effective and only prevents one strain of the flu which may not even be the prevalent strain this year.

Your babies have just as great a risk of getting the flu at their pediatrician's office than from someone coming to visit. Just make sure people wash their hands and ask them to stay away if they're even remotely feeling ill. That's what we did with our little guys. I was more scared of them walking out of the pedi's office with some funky virus than a family member getting them sick.

I can tell you that I have never had the flu and neither have my children and none of us has ever had a flu shot or ever will.

blondek8 · November 2011

amanda31H:
I know I'm going to be in the minority here, but I think it's very over the top to ask people to get vaccinated because you are having a baby.

Not in the minority in my books. I get a flu shot every year, but I also work in a respiratory/cardiac ICU and am exposed to flu (among other hideous things) multiple times/year. I've had it in the past and I don't want it back. I would never insist people get a flu shot before seeing my kids though. That's bordering on crazy IMO. They're adults and can make their own decisions, informed or not. The only thing you can do is ask them to stay away if they're sick.

Haven1 · November 2011

This has been a fascinating thread. Such different opinions. Me personally, I'm very anti-vaccines for healthy adults. I only got the H1N1 because I was pg. I've never gotten a flu shot and don't plan to do so. My kids get everything they're supposed to, but I don't like to bog them down with unnecessary medicines. With that being said, I agree that you can and should set some strict parameters around who gets to hold and see the babies. Good luck!

gumiberg · November 2011

i dont think either of my parents got the flu shot - ever.

and i actually have never had one myself.

this is not a pressing issue, IMO.

snickerdoodle15 · November 2011

very interesting opinions on here. I think the doctor kind of scared me a little. In no way would I prevent gparents from seeing the babies, I just wasnt sure whether to bring it up again with them. We have a good relationship and open communication and our conversations about the matter are very friendly. My FIL works in healthcare and is exposed to alot of sickness. They both had flu last year. Its not about my babies, its their grandchildren too. I think I will just reinforce the handwashing, etc. Thanks everyone, glad to hear all your experiences and opinions!!

LilCarciofo · November 2011

throwing in my 2 cents...while 10 wks pg i got the H1N1 flu and landed in the hospital and was terrified i would lose my babies, i dont care what anyone says, i get the shot, so do my kids, and anyone who helps take care of them..thats what the nicu and pedi recommended...studies have proven that its not as effective as researchers once thought, however, its still a help, and people are recommended to get it. i'll be damned if my kids are gonna get sick from something that is very preventable. i told gp that wanted to help in the beginning, they had to get it, sorry! nicu babies and im not taking ANY chances...whoever didnt like it, too bad. i need to protect my babies, period. good luck however u decide to handle it!

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