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Suggestions re: toddler naps or not?

schmoodleschmoodle member
in Success after IF

We have no idea what to do about Toodle and naps. He seems eady to phase them out for the most part - he only napped about 50% of the time for the last few months and was always fine on no nap days. Plus lately, on days he does nap, he is impossible to put to sleep (and he already has a pretty late bedtime).

But the last few days, he has been falling asleep sitting up and mid-activity at 5 pm. If I try to wake him, whether it's after 5 minutes or 2 hours, he gets crazy and throws terrible tantrums, insists on sitting on the couch and snuggling me making it impossible to feed the baby, make dinner, etc. (even if I ignore him he follows me around screaming and crying hysterically and pulling on my arm).

We have tried earlier naps, but he is really difficult to get down for a nap, whether we try at 11 or at 2, so even when we try, knowing it may mess up bedtime, he doesn't really nap, but then he falls asleep at 5. Not to mention we can't devote the effort unless the baby's asleep which is usually either around 9 am or 1-2 pm and the later time he's not tired enough and then it ruins bedtime.

Last night he wouldn't go to sleep at bedtime and was up till almost 11, and I know he's not just ready to go to bed for the night at 5 because he has ALWAYS been a 10.5 hours of sleep a day kid, so if he went to bed at 5 he'd be up at 3:30.

Any suggestions? Or do we choose between a 3 hr long tantrum between 5 and 8 pm or a 5 pm nap and up til 11?

*** It's funny because I'm fat ***
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Re: Suggestions re: toddler naps or not?

  • scallyscally

    I wish I had an answer for you, but I am in almost the exact same scenario as you.  I can't handle the 11 pm bedtime though cause I need some down time before I go to bed so...I think we are trying to phase out naps.

    I'm hoping this phase of fighting nighttime sleep passes quickly!

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  • LucyPevensieLucyPevensie member
    We try to skip naps and run into the same thing - by 5pm Jack is tired.  But he holds it together pretty well, thank God.  If he naps in the afternoon - he will not go to sleep until 10 or 11 o'clock - which just does NOT work for me.  So we're done with naps until he falls asleep in the car or while having his diaper changed (which happened recently.... er, guess he WAS tired.)
    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • futrkingsleyfutrkingsley member

    I posted before that we try to avoid naps for the very same reason.  Yesterday DS fell asleep sitting up next to Gramma on teh couch and napped for 1 hour.  He was up, and wired until 11 pm.  I went to bed at 9:30 pm and he stayed up wtih DH.  DS was then tired and slow to wake up this morning at 7:30 in time for school.  It sucks so much.  My ideal is no nap, waking at 6:45, asleep at 8:30 or so without fuss because he's tired.  But then he needs to sleep all night (without waking up) and get up on time.  If he naps or naps late, we don't have a good evening and it does not start us off well for the next day either (because I didn't get any time to myself).

    If we get off on the wrong foot on a Monday we can't break the pattern until the weekend so I just give up and do the best I can all week and count down to the weekend (when I can keep him up myself or nap with him or just enjoy an hour of quiet).

    Good luck!

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  • GypsyEsqGypsyEsq member
    Wow. We are in the same hell here. I hate it but most nights I get home from work and DD is a terror. She's so tired and then falls asleep before dinner! So then she can't stay asleep because she gets hungry. And then we're up until 11. Every. Day. So much worse than newborn sleep. 
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  • desabeandesabean member

    Wow, this is tough.  Garrison has always been a bad napper and naps have been mostly hit or miss for several weeks so I can relate to that, but she can make it until bed time (sometimes she has a slightly harder time falling asleep though if she is over tired)....so I don't really have advice. 

    But I do feel that some of our issue is that my MIL is not consistent at all with when she puts her down for a nap so I think it is something she is just not used to really, and it is hard for her to get ready to wind down when she doesn't know if it is nap time or if nap time will be in two hours.  So I am wondering if you could try the same exact same time (and put up with some crying if he doesn't seem ready) for a week or so if that could help him get on a schedule, if that might help??

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  • schmoodleschmoodle member
    Thanks, all. I guess it's at least reassuring to hear others are having similar issues. Desabean, as to the routine thing, that hasn't helped much, when I was still trying to give him naps, that were at 2 pm almost exactly every day, but it didn't help (and I often spent over an hour laying with him trying to get him to sleep to no avail). So I just stopped trying, but then when the nanny started since she could spend time with him while I watched the baby she tried again, and he did eventually fall asleep, but then we started having the nighttime issues. The only solution I can hope for is once the little one consolidates into fewer naps maybe one will be closer to noon and the nanny can try to get him down then but I don't have high hopes.
    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
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  • CandTCandT

    Ugh, I feel your pain. My toddler is a sleeping nightmare. Personally, I just try to deal with the tantrums and keep a normal bedtime so at least they have some type of set schedule. BUT if you can't deal with them (I know somedays I simply can handle them) then let him stay up to 11 until he adjusts.

    If I didn't have help during nap time (some days I don't but most days I do) H probably wouldn't nap. It takes me anywhere between 30-60 min to get her down for a nap and then she only sleeps for about 1- 1 1/2 hrs. (If baby is awake then I can't get her down for a nap unless someone is here to help) It hardly seems worth the effort, but if she doesn't get that nap dinner time is a nightmare and actually cooking is out of the question. So on no nap days I don't cook until DH gets home or until she goes to bed (she'll go down early if she doesn't get her nap). I just sit and keep her as satisfied as possbile until then. We sit in her tent, with baby in hand or play "with" the baby etc.

    Hope you find something that works.

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