Please don't touch my belly...

Katherine10482 · November 2011

I don't have a belly yet, of course, but I have a strong preference that I don't want my belly touched. I felt uncomfortable about bringing this up to my in-laws, so I had my husband talk to them.

MIL's reaction was very defensive. She just said, "well, too bad, she'll have to deal with it! Everyone touches pregnant bellies, and that's my grandchild in there!" My husband persisted (thank you!), and told her that she and FIL will need to respect my wishes.

Yes, there is a baby in there. But this is my BODY. I don't want people touching my body, and I think it's only fair that that be known up front. Has anyone had issues with this in previous pregnancies? Any recommendations for how to deal with it?

LM915 · November 2011

This is my first pregnancy, so I don't have any advice there. But I definitely don't want people touching my belly especially NOW... omg it's not a baby bump yet, if they are touching anything it's my bloat. yuck.

getitdone · November 2011

I have no previous experience with this, but this will be a big issue with me. I am what I call a "bubble" person. I have a personal space bubble and I do not like people to invade it. I am seriously considering having a button made that says, please do not touch. I just think it is rude for strangers or coworkers to touch my belly. I do not think I will have an issue with friends and family.

Hi725 · November 2011

My MIL drove me insane with this. She'd rub my belly and even tried to kiss it a few times, which was f*cking weird and not at all okay with me. I tried giving subtle hints like backing away, or putting my hands over me, but she ignored them. Finally I just said, "I know you are excited for your grandchild, but maybe you could wait until he's outside of my uterus before showering him with your affection".

caityxsweetie · November 2011

I personally will let anyone touch my belly, I've never really cared and I think it's awesome to touch preggie bellies!

But if those were my wishes, while I would expect people to respect it, I would understand when people give you the "wtf" look because most people just see preggie bellies and want to touch, and most people let them. Out of respect if you say no they shouldn't touch though.

Michi2325 · November 2011

I think its kinda rude to tell the grandparents now to not touch your belly. Have you ever felt a baby moving in a womans belly? Its absolutly amazing and though I would never do it to a stanger I would be thrilled if my sister or other relative offered for me to feel when the baby is moving.

I would say if strangers approach and go to reach back away but family??? I just dont see the need to create hostility when the baby hasnt even arrived, everyone is so excited ya know??

peeper72 · November 2011

I thought it would really bug me but when it came down to it, it didn't bother me at all. It was kind of touching to see that the people in my life were so excited to meet her.

I also thought I would have a bigger problem with strangers trying to touch me but that didn't happen much either. When it did I simply said, "to thank you" and that ended it. I let a sweet little old woman touch my belly though - she lit up and it was nice to see her so animated and enthusiastic.

peeper72 · November 2011

I thought it would really bug me but when it came down to it, it didn't bother me at all. It was kind of touching to see that the people in my life were so excited to meet her.

I also thought I would have a bigger problem with strangers trying to touch me but that didn't happen much either. When it did I simply said, "no thank you" and that ended it. I let a sweet little old woman touch my belly though - she lit up and it was nice to see her so animated and enthusiastic.

Katherine10482 · November 2011

Hi725:
My MIL drove me insane with this. She'd rub my belly and even tried to kiss it a few times, which was f*cking weird and not at all okay with me. I tried giving subtle hints like backing away, or putting my hands over me, but she ignored them. Finally I just said, "I know you are excited for your grandchild, but maybe you could wait until he's outside of my uterus before showering him with your affection".

I love this - that really tells it like it is!!! I'm sure though that my FIL will be more of an issue than my MIL... so that will be even more weird to deal with. I soooo hope that they listen to my husband in the first place and just keep the hands off!

ballerina06 · November 2011

You just have to be vocal about it. I made it very clear to EVERYONE that they were not to touch my belly. When I'm pregnant I cannot stand anything to be on it or touching it.

jjmrotek · November 2011

I wish you and myself luck with that... My facial expressions tend to let people know what I am thinking even when I wish they would not... Hopefully this comes in handy when a person attempts to touch without asking first.

Hi725 · November 2011

I don't think it's rude at all to want people to take the hands off approach. I don't understand why rules about personal space go flying out the window as soon as someone is growing a person.

My best friend had PUPPS when she was pregnant. The rash itched so bad she cried. People rubbed her belly and caused it to itch even more.

I had polyhydramnios and a massive child. The skin on my belly was stretched so tight, it made my skin crawl to even have a shirt over it most of the time. Belly rubs were hell.

zappatini · November 2011

I had not even thought about this yet, but I always feel weird touching pregnant bellies-even when invited to. I guess I have to have this discussion with DH.

thethomps · November 2011

I don't think I had anyone touch my belly when I was pregnant last time, except for DH. I always make sure to ask my friends before touching their bumps because I know some people hate it I personally don't care, but if my skin was itchy or it made me uncomfortable, I would definitely say something.

mrs.sewell · November 2011

I'm pretty 'hands-off' so I will have a problem if people go reaching for my belly when I start to show. My mom mentioned something about coming down (she's in Michigan) to rub my belly and I instantly was like, "No, that will not be happening." I can't imagine if it was my in-laws. That would be double weird. I would say basically what other posters have said and just put it bluntly: It makes me uncomfortable. Please don't touch/rub/kiss (WTF?!) my stomach.

That or get one of those snarky maternity t-shirts that says something like "Back the f*ck off!!!" That might work. LOL! Just kidding.

mandalinn25 · November 2011

Michi2325:
I think its kinda rude to tell the grandparents now to not touch your belly. Have you ever felt a baby moving in a womans belly? Its absolutly amazing and though I would never do it to a stanger I would be thrilled if my sister or other relative offered for me to feel when the baby is moving.

I would say if strangers approach and go to reach back away but family??? I just dont see the need to create hostility when the baby hasnt even arrived, everyone is so excited ya know??

I disagree, it is my body and only my husband can touch it without asking. It isn't their right just because they are the grandparent. If they ask I will probably allow it, but to just assume it is okay is not right.

aah1013 · November 2011

She rubs your, you rub her's right back. Ask her how weird it feels.

caralck · November 2011

When my family members and friends were pregnant, I would only touch if they invited it. It seemed weird to just got touch them, family or not. I must say it is pretty cool to feel the baby moving but if the kid isn't making any movements yet, then there's no reason to be molesting my belly. How about this for a response: can I touch your belly? You touched mine! The kisses thing is weird if it's not my husband. The last time my parents ever kissed my belly was probably when I was a toddler and they were making raspberries to make me laugh.

As for strangers touching my belly, I may let the sweet old lady get away with it but about it.

missusbee · November 2011

You definitely have a right to set the rules about who touches your body and where.

But I think it was a little argumentative to have that conversation with in laws before it even became a problem. Why pick fights before its necessary? Now all you've got is hurt and unhappy in laws and no belly.

bell2belling · November 2011

MrsPM:
Michi2325:

I think its kinda rude to tell the grandparents now to not touch your belly. Have you ever felt a baby moving in a womans belly? Its absolutly amazing and though I would never do it to a stanger I would be thrilled if my sister or other relative offered for me to feel when the baby is moving.

I would say if strangers approach and go to reach back away but family??? I just dont see the need to create hostility when the baby hasnt even arrived, everyone is so excited ya know??

I agree with this. I don't like people touching me, but it wasn't an issue. People didn't rub my belly to often and when they did it was family that was trying to feel the baby move. Even if you will 100% not want them to touch you, I think it's odd that you already asked them not to touch a bump that doesn't exist yet.

Edited to fix my grammer.

Agreed. Why are you making a big deal out of it when your bump doesn't even exist yet? I don't think it's a big deal, so someone touches you for a second. Babies are pretty exciting, people just want to share the excitement.

genkidesu · November 2011

stranger = creepy and weird and not welcome at all

family = not weird at all to me. they love me and my baby, and i would be fine with them touching my belly once i have a bump. afterall, we give hugs whenever we get together, so i dont see the difference. it's all body touching. they're just excited. the kissing would be a little much for me though, so i'm really hoping they dont go that far with it lol

J.Johnson-Smith · November 2011

I guess I don't see this as a big deal. Of course no one wants a stranger to come and touch them, but the people mean no harm. It's totally strange when someone you have never even seen before goes to rub your stomach and by all means back away, but when it comes to family I think it's totally fine, within reason of course. My mom has always talked to my babies, even getting down on her knees. It's her way of bonding with the baby. I would never deny my MIL that same experience just because I'm not as close with her as I am my mother. My babies wouldn't exist without my MIL, I'm thankful to her for giving birth to and raising my amazing husband. I will say in addition that it won't stop once you have your baby, strangers will go to touch your baby too, which on the contrary I am more defensive about.

mandalinn25 · November 2011

I think it all comes down to what each of us is comfortable with. Some are fine with it, some aren't. Neither is right or wrong, we all have to do what we feel okay with. I would hope family members would understand either way.

snowdrop0106 · November 2011

this is my first pregnancy. but i've already had my MIL touch my tummy and tell me how much she loves "him" (apparently its going to be a boy)...i was thinking get away from my stomach! we were leaving a birthday party because i wasn't feeling well. i dont want people touching my belly. its not just because its my baby...but i'm a person and i exist too. i'm not just a carrier for this baby that you can grope all you want until he/she pops out and you can hold him/her. when baby is born you can touch him/her all you like as long as your hands are clean.

SallySunrise · November 2011

MrsPM:
Michi2325:

I think its kinda rude to tell the grandparents now to not touch your belly. Have you ever felt a baby moving in a womans belly? Its absolutly amazing and though I would never do it to a stanger I would be thrilled if my sister or other relative offered for me to feel when the baby is moving.

I would say if strangers approach and go to reach back away but family??? I just dont see the need to create hostility when the baby hasnt even arrived, everyone is so excited ya know??

I agree with this. I don't like people touching me, but it wasn't an issue. People didn't rub my belly to often and when they did it was family that was trying to feel the baby move. Even if you will 100% not want them to touch you, I think it's odd that you already asked them not to touch a bump that doesn't exist yet.

Ditto these two. I totally understand that you're trying to create boundaries, and if you're truly that uncomfortable with it then that is your right- it is your body. At the same time, I feel like being so blunt about it (especially before it's even an issue- no belly yet!) just creates unnecessary drama and hurt feelings. Besides, you may feel differently when the time comes. I thought I'd hate having my belly touched, but it didn't bother me near as much as I expected. Especially with family, it made me feel like they were just so excited and wanted to feel as close as they could to my precious LO. In their minds, they aren't groping you, they're "holding" your baby. I started to understand that more as I got further along.

PresleyMomma · November 2011

I've already had some of my (DH's) family touch my belly! I was caught off guard because obviously I wasn't expecting anything like that for months! We had a big family dinner a few night ago and when we came in everyone knew and was congratulating us (which I was a little sad with because I'm assuming MIL and FIL told but I was hoping we could have!) Anyway, when one of DH's aunts came up to hug us she also gave the baby a little "hello." Then, when we were leaving one of our cousins said goodbye to the baby and gave my belly a little rub. I think it's kind of sweet that everyone is excited. At least I'm already prepared for when I actually have a bump! lol.

ashie613 · November 2011

The only people to touch my "belly" so far, besides DH or I, is my SIL & her husband's step mom. I'm hoping to keep it that way for a LONG time. And the only time I want people to touch my belly is if and when I give them permission. I have a friend who is currently 32weeks pg, and she said some old lady at Walmart came up to her and rubbed her belly. This was back whm she was probably 16weeks or so. *sigh* I think I will wear oversized clothes to hide my baby bump from crazy people at Walmart! Lol

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