Blended Families

EDITED in comments knowing/notknowing half silbs

i am soo happy to make it past the first trimester!  he told me thatwe werent going to disguss anything until now.. wetalked about baby name firsts and th went great.

 

i was casually askingwhat his  oldest daughter had in mind, and here  comes rhe jaw dropper.  he was like "it shouldnt matter what "daughter1" had in mind because she has nothing to do with my baby.  he went on to tell me this baby or any other future baby will have nomthing to do with his kids.  

 they eill see each otherr at school, ans i dont want that to be their first meetint

 

i just dont know what t o d o.  he says hes exs dont kffff

 

now im pregagnt and if i teel then he will leave me.  i wont as many peoples honest answwel

BabyFruit Ticker

Re: EDITED in comments knowing/notknowing half silbs

  • Um, what? Your typing is all over the place, but he said that the kids will not know each other? So do you guys not see the skids? I'm so confused. This throws up 10 red flags. I don't know if you need to be concerned with him leaving, sounds like you should be putting your running shoes on. We need more info.
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  • Sorry, I was so ecxited to find thist bored that I didnt realize i had already taken my sleeping pill and phones and brains are a lot harder to after that, expecially on a phone,

     Ignore the crazy back stroy up tjere, he basically saids his choldren from another realtionship (Ive meet them, and their monther, so is as nice as can be.)  ive even babysat before when they need to go have dinner to sit down and figureout visitation and stuff.  there are really no problems between the four our is.  his girls adore me and beg be to babysit.

    No, i just do get it.  i wasnt allowed to tell anyone until after frist tri, but now that thats come hes telling my i can no longer have contact with his ex and kids.  i love them all so much..  he wouldnt give me any real answers at all as to why besides"we are starting our OWN family now."

    i gt a text from his ex asking of i wanted to take the girls to the mall for holiday shopping, and when he say it he sad he was serious about having no contact with her and if i went or eve responded to the text he is leaving me .

     is this normal for a mam you what his families so seperate, especially when she get along so well?  our kids will go to the same school and i think its weird that thatts the first sime they will meet.

     

    sorry again for the grammar/spelling, Im using my phone. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • No, it is not normal for a man to try to isolate you once you become pregnant. This is a problem, you should take a careful look at your relationship to decide if you want to continue it.

    He will either continue to further isolate you from people, or end up leaving you and cutting you off like he's doing with the other woman. Either way, he's a douche with a side of a$s .
  • So many things here....wow.

    1st: Wendilea is right:  Douche with a capital D.

    2nd: Why are he and BM going out while you "babysit" the skids?  Seems a little shady to me.

    3rd: Does HE still plan to have contact with BM and the kids even though he's told you you're not allowed to?

    4th: What is his current situation with them?  What visitation does he have? How is his relationship with BM?

    5th: How does he plan to hide an actualy human being (your child) from BM and the kids when you live in the same town/school district?  Isn't he aware that you may run into her at the store or something?  Or does he plan for you and your child to never leave the house?

    6th:  What is his response when you say that the children are going to meet at school some day?  Is he aware that he cannot keep the existance of this child secret for their entire lives?  Does he even think about how his older kids will feel when they DO find out?

    7th:  Run for the hills, this situation has bad news written all over it.

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  • R.U.N!!!! Wtf kind of person is this?! He sounds like a psychotic nut job. This is not even close to 'normal' behavior. He is controlling you and you are in an abusive relationship. I suggest you leave. Leave now before he gains anymore control over you. There is no such thing as 'having your own' family in a blended family situation. Does he expect to send you and baby away during his visitation time? Is he going to buy a second home so he can do hi visitation there?! This sounds absolutely nuts to me. Get out now. Pack your things while he is working and just leave. Please.
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    "Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
  • I am guessing this is written by a 10yo, between the typing and thinking it is possible for a father that sees his kids to not see his new kid.  I refuse to believe that an adult women would have a child and say with a guy like that.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • imageNikkiJuneBug:

    Sorry, I was so ecxited to find thist bored that I didnt realize i had already taken my sleeping pill and phones and brains are a lot harder to after that, expecially on a phone,

     Ignore the crazy back stroy up tjere, he basically saids his choldren from another realtionship (Ive meet them, and their monther, so is as nice as can be.)  ive even babysat before when they need to go have dinner to sit down and figureout visitation and stuff.  there are really no problems between the four our is.  his girls adore me and beg be to babysit.

    No, i just do get it.  i wasnt allowed to tell anyone until after frist tri, but now that thats come hes telling my i can no longer have contact with his ex and kids.  i love them all so much..  he wouldnt give me any real answers at all as to why besides"we are starting our OWN family now."

    i gt a text from his ex asking of i wanted to take the girls to the mall for holiday shopping, and when he say it he sad he was serious about having no contact with her and if i went or eve responded to the text he is leaving me .

     is this normal for a mam you what his families so seperate, especially when she get along so well?  our kids will go to the same school and i think its weird that thatts the first sime they will meet.

     

    sorry again for the grammar/spelling, Im using my phone. 

     

     

    This is not normal at all. And if I were you, I would be very very suspicous as to whats really going on. I mean do you never really ask, whats the big deal if we got along before why can we get now that I am prego too. To me it sounds like he is trying to have the best of both worlds....but than again, there could be some info missing, because both of your post are all over the place.

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  • imageLittlejen22:
    I am guessing this is written by a 10yo, between the typing and thinking it is possible for a father that sees his kids to not see his new kid.  I refuse to believe that an adult women would have a child and say with a guy like that.

    This, there is something weird about this.

    Also, what kind of sleeping pill are you taking that is knocking you out so bad that you type like that? I would be asking my doctor if I should be taking that, seeing as you are pregnant. Or at least I think you are.



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  • its just regular benedryl, the doc said it was completely safe to take while pregnant. the spelling and grammer mistakes are just because i am using my phone to post and it isnt very compatible with this website.

     

    anywyas. thanks for the advice.  i tried to talk to my bf about it but he freaked out and left.  i didnt know what else to do but call his ex and very nicely say "yes, id love to take the kids out shopping for their dad and maybe i can pick him up something from the baby we are expecting in june"  there was just dead silence on the other hand.

     turns our she thought i was his cousin he had taken in out of the goodness of his heart and had been trying to get back with her the entire time .  

     

    ive trying to call and text him but he wont answer.  i have all my stuff packed up but i dont really have anywhere to go, my mom hasnt talked to me since she found out.  i have an 8 am class tomorrow too becuase i refuse to miss school over anything baby related.   

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageNikkiJuneBug:

     turns our she thought i was his cousin he had taken in out of the goodness of his heart and had been trying to get back with her the entire time .  



    It all makes sense now.

    Tha goodness you found out now. You should call your mom. She may be pissed about the situation, but she's your mom and loves you. I know there are some crappy moms out there, but you're in college so she did something right and I'm sure she cares. And for her to be upset by you getting pregnant, well I'd don't know any mom out there who wouldn't be upset if their 19 yo came home pregnant. Maybe she won't help you, but you need to at least try route first.

    Best of luck.
  • Sorry he is a douche canoe. But now it all makes sense, and you see that he is a worthless POS. Please talk to your mom. You can't stay with douchelord just because you have no where else to go. He is a lying liar who lies, and does t deserve you.
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    "Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
  • "i wasnt allowed"

     

    I stopped reading after this... You are an adult and you have to be given permission to do something?? That wouldn't fly with me. 

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