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Feeling guilty?

sytomsytom member
in Parenting after a Loss

I realized a few days ago that the weird feeling I am having trouble with is guilt.  Let me just say first that I feel blessed to have a beautiful baby girl.  It's a dream come true. 

Here's why I feel bad...  I feel guilty to say that I am tired when I am, I felt guilty about feeling pain related to my c-section...  I feel that those things sound like I'm ungrateful when it couldn't be farther from the truth and then I feel guiltier.  I think it can be related to my losses...  I've been wanting what I have now for such a long time!  Again, I am head over heels in love with my daughter and I wouldn't change a thing in my life right now. I am so grateful to have a beautiful healthy baby and a loving DH.

Do any of you feel this way?   How do you get through it?  TIA!

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Re: Feeling guilty?

  • ksulliksulli member

    Exactly what PP said.  The baby is amazing and an answer to so many prayers, but also very demanding.  And you've just put your body through a marathon that lasted 9 months.  You should be beat.  And you are.  But you don't love the situation you're in any less. 

    I think of it as being unhappy in the moment (sore, exhausted, emotionally drained) but overjoyed at the big picture (baby, husband, all three of you alive and reasonably well).  "Happy" starts like "happen"- things that happened today make you happy or not, the big picture is what makes you in love with life (when you manage to take a step back).

    *Married 10.10.08*
     image
    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
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  • samm1983samm1983 member
    I know exactly what you mean.  I think all of these emotions are normal.  I would go through all of this again in a second for this little guy, but it does get overwhelming.  Sometimes I just need a few minutes to be upset about my difficult recovery and then I feel better.  So hugs to you.
    7 mm/c
    APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
    bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
    bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
    bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
    bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
    bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
    bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
    one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
    ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)
    bfp #9 - 9.23.13, our miracle baby girl arrived 5.29.14

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  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member
    Being tired and in pain does not make you ungrateful!  Those are physical symptoms that are based on real things that you are going through.  Being a Mommy is hard enough. Be kind to yourself. Of course you love your baby and would do anything for her. That doesn't take away from the fact that having a baby is hard work and tiring and having major surgery on top of it makes it even harder. {hugs}
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers




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