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Speaking of holidays and IL's.... I need advice

AmamsnebAmamsneb
in Attachment Parenting

I'm actually having some diplomatic issues of my own this year, and could use some analysis of the situation. 

My parents are very close to DS.  They've recently moved to be closer to us, and see DS about twice a month.  They've baby proofed their house, and have gone out of their way and to considerable expense to create a safe co-sleeping arrangement for us.  He's really comfortable with them, and I feel very comfortable leaving them with him when we go out.

MIL and FIL haven't gotten to spend as much time with DS.  Their finances are tighter and they're less able to travel because of numerous health problems.  They also live twice as far away as my folks, and can't really put us up very easily when we visit them.  I don't always get along with my ILs, but they're good people, and they love our boy.  

We've recently been made aware (by FIL) that MIL is very very sad that she doesn't know our son better, and is jealous of the relationship my mom has with him (and I suspect thinks that I'm to blame for that).

They're all coming to our house for Thanksgiving.  My folks are leaving Friday so his folks can have Saturday with him to themselves.  Any ideas on what I can do to encourage a 21 month old to become more attached to his paternal grandmother, who can't get on the floor, can't pick him up and hold him, and likely is going to continue to not see her as often as my mom?

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Re: Speaking of holidays and IL's.... I need advice

  • mvhydemvhyde member

    I know that reading books doesn't take too much energy. Maybe she can read to him while he is sitting on your lap until he is more comfortable with her then transition to her lap (if she is healthy enough to hold him). She could also sing to him with actions.

    I know it will be cold but I used to play with blowing bubbles with my toddler niece. All I did was stand there and blow bubbles, she did all the running around. The same thing with catch. I would throw the ball to her and she would run around, of course I could catch the ball she threw back to me, maybe you can be her proxy.

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  • GreeneyesPGreeneyesP

    What about an activity at the table, or with him in a highchair?  This way they can interact face to face.  One activity that I do with my mommy and me classes is pudding painting.  It's a safe way to introduce finger painting, and a sensory activity ( that children your child's age LOVE).  It can be done with any flavor of instant pudding and some construction paper.  Just put a dollup instant pudding on the construction paper and have your MIL show him how to "mush" it into the paper.  If he eats it, he won't be harmed.  So let baby go wild.  MIL can also help him to make shapes and letters on the paper.  Then when it's all done, she'll have a piece of art to hang on her fridge made with love by her grandchild.  Once the pudding dries on the paper a good shellacing with aerosol hairspray helps to preserve it for a few months.  Just an idea.  Good luck!

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  • jcsumm0jcsumm0 member
    I don't know what naps are like for a 21 month old but since you cosleep is there any way she could lie down with him for a nap or he could nap on her?  Nothing sweeter than a sleeping baby!
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  • AmamsnebAmamsneb
    These are all awesome suggestions!  Thanks ladies!!!  (and keep em coming!)
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  • SandiaPinaMamaSandiaPinaMama member
    My brothers were having a hard time with my niece. When she was recentlu visiting, they made up games and played pattycake with her. Pretty soon she got all excited every time she saw them because she remembered their special games.

    BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
    BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#3 "Pineapple"  born 4/2013
    BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
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  • KateLouiseKateLouise member
    Drawing, reading stories, blowing bubbles, building blocks, playing with play doh are all activities that are low energy and can be done at a table or from a chair.
    image
    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
    image


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  • andiandlouandiandlou member
    Just wanted to add to everything else pp said...To keep the relationship going once Grandma is gone, make it a point to call and put her on speaker so Lo is familiar with her voice. My parents live across the country from us and this is how I keep their bond alive.  They are only able to visit in the summers and we fly down there twice a year and DS recognizes her as soon as he hears her. My parents aren't very tech savy if not I would also do video chat with them...hope this helps
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • herohero member
    Take a lot of pics if IL while they are with you. Make a special book with the pics that your dc can look page through when your ds and grandparents can't visit with eachother.
    <Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers>
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