"gender reveal" party???
Ok, so my husband and I have finally concieved after 2 1/2 yrs of TTC despite Drs saying I would never get pregnant with only one ovary that functioned less than 20%. Im currently 11 weeks, and we just told family and friends this weekend. Everyone is estatic (DH and I have been together for 9 yrs).
Well, my husband and I really would like the gender to be a surprise till we give birth, however, we cant find any gender neutral themes we like for nursery, but have both a boy and girl theme that we love... so my oldest sister suggested we do a gender reveal party. My sister and I are big on hosting parties and love entertaining... My family and extended family is very close and check in on us weekly (and will prob be more often now they know we are expecting) So no gifts would be involved, just time for family and friends to get together and us all share find out together...
Problem is... I have heard equally negative and positive buzz on this topic by looking into it on google... and I was wondering what your thoughts on this was... Im torn... I dont want to be the center of attention, but I want to include my very close knit family and special friends in as well... oh and just to clarify, this would be a party me and my sister host, and no gifts to be given.. Reval would be late Jan... baby shower late may?
thoughts... opinions?
Re: "gender reveal" party???
This. It seems a little AWish, especially if you have a gender reveal party and a baby shower.
To a degree, we do need to realize that there are people that don't care as much about our lives as we do. BUT- I will argue that when it comes to my GOOD friends, yes, actually, I do care about stuff like this.
However, at the same time, I also have to say "how many parties does one need to 'celebrate' ANY life event??". EVen for GOOD friends, I will start to roll my eyes when there start to become too many parties for them.
My friends threw me a very casual GTG to celebrate my PG early on. It wasn't a shower, it was entirely their idea, and similar to you- after 5 years of IF, they were really thrilled that we finally had gotten PG.
I used this pre-planned event as a chance to reveal the gender. It was a fun add -on. But I really can't see planning a party JUST to reveal the gender.
Take my view on this as you want. You know your friends and family. I just caution you on to omany self-congratulatory parties.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I had a gender reveal brunch and we had a ball! No gifts were giving or anything, we just wanted to find out with our immediate familes and our closest friends. People use the excuse that everyone does not care as much as you do, but with my family and friends they do. It was very excited and everyone said they was so happy we chose to share that moment with them. So honestly it's a personal decision, everyone is going to have an opinion so just do what you really want.
Good luck on whatever you decide
You know your friends and family best... but I'd imagine that your closest family and friends would be excited to participate in something like this. Keep it casual, no gifts, and keep the guest list small and intimate and I'm sure it will be a lot of fun.
I know if one of my brothers, or BIL, or one of my closest friends was doing something like this, I'd be excited about it. I remember when my brother and SIL were pregnant for the first time, I was on pins and needles for months waiting to find out the gender. Same with their second child. But if one of my coworkers, or a person I was more casual friends with invited me to something like this, I probably wouldn't go.
Mama's Clone - 07/18/12
Just a general thought about these types of statements (not for you in particular, and I'm sure there are people who are just as anxious as you are), but what are these people really going to say to you, "actually, we don't give a sh!t"? No one is going to tell you that they don't care as much as you do, and honestly, people will be just as happy for you whether you are having a boy or a girl.
If we do decide to do it, it would probably be at either mine or my sisters house, since my sister lives an hour away, and its hard for grandparents to get there. But it would be immediate family (6 siblings and spouses), parents, grandparents, and probably just our closest friends.
Thanks for the feedback... we are still not sure...
I wouldn't have one personally, but if for some reason, I was being threatened with a gun and had to have one, I wouldn't invite any more than grandparents and female family that I'm super close to.
Honestly, I think it's totally aw-ish to have a party celebrating your kids genitals. Like someone stated, people don't really care (maybe other than grandparents), they ask to be polite and very few people would have the balls to say "no thanks, I'm not interested in going to a gender reveal party".
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Also FFS you are announcing the SEX of the baby not the gender. It's different. If you're going to do it, atleast get the terminology right. I wonder if people would still have these AW parties if they called them by their proper name. Heck, It'd be easier to trick me into going to a sex reveal party.
I need to go to bed, I read and then re-read this thinking you were correcting me. I kept thinking "wait, I used the right term", lol.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
No! as soon as I clicked post I realized I had bolded that part and was too lazy to edit. I meant to say that I LOLed at that part.
My personal opinion and my advice differ on this one. My friend had a gender reveal party and I thought it was pretty silly. I played along because they were friends, but I vowed to my husband that I would never do that when we were pregnant and I didn't. However, if you want to do it, I say go for it. Like others have suggested, I would say keep it small and intimate. That way, you'll have people there who really do care.
A sex party? I'd go to one of those... oh, that's not the kind of sex party you were talking about...
I think they're AWish. I mean, you already have so much attention focused on you and your family during your pregnancy and after the baby is born, you're making yet ANOTHER occasion out of it? And one to which people may bring gifts (even if you say no gifts, people will likely bring them anyhow)?
And celebrating the fact that your child has either a penis or ovaries is just bizarre (with the exception of a bris because of the religious meaning)
IMO, it's AW-ish. Please don't tell me you're having a "name reveal" party too.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
1) Totally depends on your family and friends and you know them best.
2) How about combining it with another get together? Maybe a super bowl party, new year' eve get together, etc. That way it decreases the chance of some people considering you an AW.
3) I've seen varying degrees of these parties discussed on the bump. I personally thing there's a difference between just cutting a cake at the end of the evening and having people wear pink or blue, get in on a sex pool, etc.
?BFP #1 3/27/11, 1st US Mono Mono Twins, 2nd US 2 HB's, MMC@8w6d 4/25/11, D&C 4/27/11 ?
BFP#2 9/17/11 1st US HB 171 10/13/11 EDC 5/23/12
Snort.
I guess this is why people tend to use the term gender, even though it is improper. Sex reveal party, sex pool, etc. lol.
This..and I have to say, just because you cant find bedding or a theme for a nurshery, doesnt mean you cant wait to know the sex.
That was the most beautiful part of giving birth for me. They help her up and I was so out of it. I saw the cord, and thought it was a boy. I was delerious! lol. Then they said "Its a girl" and I immediantly started to cry.
That moment was worth not having a gender reveal party any day. Dont let a theme stop you, if you want to have a moment like that.
Also, Im not picking on anyone who wants to find out the sex earlier, I think that is great. I just dont think many ppl blame it on a theme, more so that they are just dying to know.
We sort of had one but it was very informal. My parents had DH's family over during the holidays last year and after the family dinner DH and I brought out the cake for desert and had the grandma's cut it to reveal the gender. It was so much fun and gave us a way to tell family at the same time but it wasn't a huge party or anything. I think it was perfect and I would totally do it again.
However, I would also love to go to a gender reveal party for a friend or family member - I do get excited about other people's life events and love celebrating them. Finding out the babies gender is super exciting for me (even though I'm happy no matter what friends are having) but something about finding out makes it seem so much more concrete and I can start to picture a real little person!
We had one, but it was really casual. Family only, lunch, and we put the name on a cake and across my belly on a shirt. Mostly we all just hung out and had fun with our little niece, and the reveal part was just a bonus. We're not having a shower, so we figured it was okay to do it. It was relaxed, gift-free, and fun :-)
More me, the issue is mostly when the people have multiple showers and expect gifts at the reveal party (like a co-worker of mine...she had two showers plus the reveal party and had a specific registry for it). That turns into an overkill situation. But I figure if it's okay to have an engagement party, it's okay to have a reveal party!
Besides, from what I understand of your situation, it sounds like this has been an uphill battle. I say celebrate!
Wait, I thought you said you didn't want to find out the gender. If you don't want to know what you're having, how exactly do you plan on having a gender reveal party? You can always wait until the baby is born to decorate the nursery.
I like the idea of a gender reveal but it doesn't necessarily have to be at a party for that purpose. I think people do care to know what you're having, especially family and close friends. (At least I care when my family and friends are pregnant.) But hosting an entire party to reveal that information seems like a bit much. You could however, combine it with some other occasion. Maybe your family is having a holiday party, or you or your spouse are celebrating a birthday, or it could even be combined with your baby shower, or maybe your family has dinner together regularly. You could easily add your gender reveal to that occasion. But I don't think you should spend the money to go all out and have a party for this purpose.
If you really want to be team green, I say stay team green!
Don't let decorating determine when you find out - personally, I'm happy to pick out gender neutral things (especially the expensive items) so that as much as possible can be reused if we have a #2.
I'm sure family and friends (especially grandparents) will want to gift you with fun pink or blue things after the baby gets here - that way you can have your team green surprise, have practical, neutral big-ticket items, and then get the 'fun' stuff gradually.
GL whichever way you go, but maybe something to think about.
My sister had a gender reveal party for pretty much the same reason as you. She wanted the gender to be a surprise, but her husband wanted to find out. As a compromise they did a small gender reveal party, which included family and some close friends.
I have to admit, that I thought it was a pretty dumb idea when I first heard about it. But actually, I REALLY enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun to all find out the gender together. Plus, we got yummy appetizers and cake. I think this was actually a very special moment for the whole family.
1. It's "sex" people. SEX.
2. It's AWish
3. As a team greener, trust me, it was a no brainer finding plenty of things to buy that would be fine whether or not he was a boy or a girl. All is nursery stuff came from PBK, they have lots of gender neutral things.
4. I agree with the pp that no one cares THAT much about what you are having. Grandparents and siblings aside. Trust me, no one cares that much.
We had recently bought a new house, so we tied in a gender reveal during our house warming. Only our closest friends and family were invited to the event (basically the people who did care about whether it was a boy or girl) and they all had a blast. Instead of a cake (felt to weddingish to me) we had cupcakes (half pink and half blue) with icing in the middle that was the color of the sex of the baby. Everyone loved it, as it kept us out of the center of attention and allowed all of our guests to participate in the reveal (everyone took a bite at the same time).
Here are my rules for this type of get together. Take them for what you will.
1. You are revealing the sex of your baby, not the gender. A gender reveal party just sounds creepy. Then again, a sex reveal party sounds x-rated.
2. You may invite immediately family ONLY. No friends unless it's your college roommate who insists on being there.
3. Only and I mean ONLY, if you are also finding out the sex at that time. As in, the doctor put the sex in an envelope and you handed it to the baker who make the cake pink or blue and you won't know until you cut into it.
Other than the cake, no more effort should go into this than would a Sunday dinner at your parent's house.
Then and only then, will I accept this new trend.