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Anyone's DH a farmer? (long)

NicoleWINicoleWI member
in Working Moms

My DH is a grain farmer--no animals. He and his brother co-own the business and they farm a LOT of acres. We live in a suburb of Milwaukee and I work in the city in an office job (35 minutes each way--not bad, but longer than I would like), and we live in a subdivision (i.e. no, we don't live in the country on a farm). His job is great in that there is a lot of flexibility part of the year. He will be home a LOT with me in Jan/Feb when we first have the baby and that will be awesome.

The downside is that from mid-April to end of June and from mid-September to Thanksgiving, he is pretty much MIA whenever the weather is good, 7 days a week. I understand this and it's fine for us, but I'm concerned about going back to work full-time in April right when he gets busy again. He can do a morning day care drop off but in the evenings I will be totally on my own to pick up the baby, get us home, do dinner, bath, bedtime, diapers, etc. (unless it's rainy!). I'm worn out from work, too, even though I'm not outside until 11:30 at night, and I'm afraid of not dealing well w/ FT work plus FT baby care, including on the weekends.

I'm definitely going back to work at first and we're going to see how things go. It would be smart of me to try to stick it out until baby #2 but we just have to see...I may need to find something closer to home/fewer hours. 

If your DH is a farmer or you are in a similar situation with job hours, how do you handle it? Do you have any tips? Thanks.

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Re: Anyone's DH a farmer? (long)

  • sara1104sara1104
    My DH isn't a farmer, but almost all my family farmers.  I can tell you my SIL works at the school & she does 90% of the parenting b/c my brother is gone so much.  He stays home almost all day Sunday with the kids (unless its harvest, planting, etc).  It will be tough, but you have to look at the big picture on what you want ..do you want to keep working to save $ for DC #2, etc.  The first months are hard, but it does get easier.  I have an "early to bed" baby and she is asleep by 7pm which allows me time to clean, prepare for the next day, etc.  GL!
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  • lami22005lami22005 member

    Hi,

    MY dh is not a farmer, but he works graveyard.  We had the twins, and 12 days later he started this job.  So i was basically on my own all night and all day because he needed to sleep.  At the time, he also needed to leave by 6:00p.m. ish, which meant that I was on my own doing night time routine.  At 3 months, I went back to work full-time, and had to get the babies to daycare and back.  It wasn't easy, but it is doable.  You just have to be organized and have a good routine. 

    We had a surprise pregnancy, and now it's 3 to take care of. :) I'm TIRED because obviously the newborn doesn't sleep through the night.  My twins have been for months, so the lack of sleep is difficult, but everything else works out.  I try not to get stressed out when they cry, I try to do things while they're content/playing, etc.  I don't cook much, so in that aspect, I save time.  I'd like to, I just can't get it together. 

    I go back to work in a few weeks, so it will be interesting.  But we have babysitters who come to our house now, so that part is easier. I think you'll do great. Once you get into a routine, it really becomes second nature. 

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  • beenbizzybeenbizzy member

    I can so relate to this post - my DH is a farmer!  Everything you said could have come right out of my mouth.  DS was bron in December 07.  It was so awesome to have DH around while I was on maternity leave and we were learning everything together.  After 8 weeks of maternity leave I went back PT for an additional 8 weeks.  Boy, if I could have done PT permanently, that would have been awesome, but that wasn't in the cards.  Anyway, I was driving a one hour commute each way, so Dh had the brunt of the care inthe morning.  He did drop off and I did pick up.  I've since switched jobs and work 20 minutes from home and mostly do all of the drop off and pick up, come home and make something for supper, bath, bedtime, etc.  It stinks to do it myself and I feel bad when DH comes home and I say, here, play with DS, because I know he is tired, too.  This has been a rough year because spring lasted so long (we had lots of rain and re-planting) and now fall keeps dragging on (it's so wet). 

    My tips would be that on the weekends do some fun things with your child to get out of the house.  Go for a walk, go to the mall, visit friends.  Let the other stuff slide.  Do laundry to keep up, but don't be concerned about a perfect house or if you eat a lot of take out.  Ask for help - have a family member or friend watch baby for a couple of hours.  Maybe someone that would take the baby on a walk.  Honestly, people love babies and if they don't want to or can't, they will say. 

    I always figured there weren't many farmer's wives on here, so I think it is hard for others to know exactly what life is like (and there are plenty of people on here that I wouldn't know how they do it).  If you want to exchange emails to visit sometime, let me know.  We have the same thoughts about working until #2 and then figuring out the plan. 

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