Are you a SAHM or are you a working mom?

kellelle01 · November 2011

Hi from 12-24 months! DH and I want to start TTC for #2 and they would hopefully be just about 2 years apart or so. After looking into the costs of 2 in daycare, I don't know whether it's just as well that I quit my job and stay home.

Just curious what you guys do.

If you do SAH, without having to get into specifics, are you on a strict budget or are you able to still live pretty comfortably off of DH/SO's salary?

Thanks!

mrsseguin · November 2011

I work full time. I'm a nurse and have a very flexible schedule. We pay $175/month for DS's daycare. The baby stays home with me. If we had 2 in FT DC, it would be $1700/month. I'd still work, but man that's a huge chunk of money!

moonfaerie · November 2011

I currently work 32 hours (4 days) a week. We don't pay for daycare. My mom and MIL watch the girls. If I go back to work after #3, is born, my oldest will go to daycare, and our moms will continue to care for the two younger ones. The only reason I work now is that DH's employer doesn't offer health insurance. Once we're done having kids, we can afford a private policy, but none of them had good coverage for maternity.

KRB8 · November 2011

Both DH and I work FT, and we'll both continue FT after LO2 arrives. DC isn't too bad for us though. MIL does 3 days per week, which she'll still do when LO2 arrives. DD goes to a licensed in home DC 2 days per week for $40 per day. DD and LO2 will do the same.

Financially, we need to be a dual income family. But we also don't make certain sacrifices. We still go on two vacations per year. We go out a couple times per month. We can buy extra within reason. I thought about reworking our budget for me to SAH for a year or so, but it would be tough for me to return to the workforce (with my profession). So for various reasons, it makes sense for both of us to continue to work FT.

smerka · November 2011

I SAH but work part time during the tax season. I usually don't pay for daycare, but my inlaws are going to Africa for a couple of months. DH is a high school teacher so we live on a fairly tight budget right now. I will work more once the kids are in school. The best way to figure out how your budget if you SAH is to live off DH's salary and save yours. Then you'll have a cushion if you leave your job.

TheMutleys · November 2011

I stay at home, although I am back in school part-time for nursing. We planned our lives so that I would never 'have' to work. We moved from a HCOL area to a LCOL area. We also moved to be near family for help with childcare. Plus my DH had been in his career for almost 10 years when we had our first, so he had moved fairly high up. We budget, but are able to live quite comfortably.

When I do go back to work, I hope to keep childcare to a minimum by working part-time (and off-shifts) and grandmothers.

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2011

I work around 15 hours a week. I pay for daycare 2 half-days a week for my oldest (we started him for the interaction with other kids) and my youngest stays with my mom so that's free. I pay $50/week for daycare.

We do live to a strict budget, but it's because I enjoy a specific lifestyle that involves traveling, being able to afford yearly memberships for fun places to take the kids, etc.

You can always try to find something part time opposite your DH's work schedule so you can avoid the cost of daycare. You can waitress a few nights a week or something like that.

GL!

kagl04 · November 2011

I SAH. While we aren't living extravagantly, we aren't poor either. DH also worked for about 10 years before we had kids so he had worked his salary up too. We have 2 mortgages right now and we are still surviving with one salary. We made a few sacrifices for me to SAH and I do plan on working once the kids are in school (which is why they are close in age). We have a strict budget that we live off of but we do still do fun things for ourselves they involved money and we are doing ok.

oops34 · November 2011

I SAH, and we have a pretty strict budget. We can't just go out whenever we want, or go shopping for clothes or shoes just because we want to. It's not really that big of a deal to us because the sacrifices are very much worth me staying home. GL

NCMichelle · November 2011

I have been a SAHM since my DD was born. I thought I would love it. I thought I would be good at it. Truth is, I hate it and I suck at it. I'm starting a part-time job in our school system (former special ed. teacher) on Monday!!! My kids will be going to an at-home daycare two days a week... so $140 a week. I'll barely break even with my new job, but I don't care. My sanity needs it.

There is always a debate about working moms vs SAHM... whatever works for you is what is best.

bacala1 · November 2011

Oops34:
I SAH, and we have a pretty strict budget. We can't just go out whenever we want, or go shopping for clothes or shoes just because we want to. It's not really that big of a deal to us because the sacrifices are very much worth me staying home. GL

I agree. I feel these few years I am spending nurturing my kids are worth being on a strict budget. One day they will both be in school and I eventually will be working full time again so we will have much less time to spend with one another. I find this time to be priceless. I eventually will go back to work and will have money to splurge with again, but until then, I'm enjoying this precious time.

pokey208 · November 2011

I SAH. We really don't have a budget per se, after I pay the bills I look at what is left and make a determination of what can or can't be done that month. We live w/in our means which means we are a 1 car family which is beyond a pain the butt. But our car will be paid off next Nov so we'll be able to get a 2nd car then. I can not wait!

SirSleepsALot · November 2011

If you are asking if its a sacrifice to give up an entire salary the answer is yes. Is it worth it to us? Yeah. Do we get to go shopping for ourselves and go on expensive vacations? Nope.

Mr.&MrsS · November 2011

DH and I both work full time. When I got pregnant with DS2 we had to figure out what we were going to do. We had DS1 in an expensive center, and to have 2 kids there would have eaten up the majority of my take home pay.

We discussed it, and I really liked my job and didnt want to quit. So we looked around and found a wonderful in home day care that we loved. It was going to cost about the same for two kids that we were paying for one child at the center. And it was a great choice because 2.5 years later we are still with that same in home day care and they are wonderful!!!! (Though we just moved and now we have to find someone new...I am very sad about having to leave them).

Good luck with your decision!

meredith anastasia · November 2011

We both work FT by choice - staying home is not for me. That said, I'm in Canada so have a year long mat leave. The centre we use will be about $1,750/mo for both kids when I go back (they will be 1 and 2.5).

lilone_06 · November 2011

I SAH right now. I'lll be honest, it is really tough. I would love to go back to work, just to save my sanity. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM. But, I digress, to answer your questions, it's not much of a financial sacrifice, as I'd only make what it would cost to cover daycare for my three, but we feel, for now, it's best for me to be home taking care of the kids and house. It's a handful, I don't know how working moms do it!

12bailey18 · November 2011

I do stay home with kids. DH is military so it's just easier since we move around a lot. Also, more than likely, if I was working it would just be paying for daycare. It's not financially smart for me to work. I love staying home so it works out great for us. We still live comfortably off DH's paycheck. We don't get to blow our money on "fun" or "big" stuff but we pay our bills, have money in savings, and have a little left over each month. We're completely satisfied with that. If there is something we want we just save up for it. Or if I want to shop, I shop discount like at TJ Maxx or something.

ak1234 · November 2011

I am a working mom, and the breadwinner, so it is currently necessary. My DH has taken a position that would allow me to stay home, but at this stage, I am not going to do so. To be honest, if he had this job before we started having children, I would probably SAH, but I have made the decision to keep working.

Arielle27 · November 2011

I work full time now, but will stay at home for at least the first 6 months when #2 comes. The plan is that I'll then go back to school to get another MA and my teaching credentials (probably working part time while doing that for two years). Then, when the kids are a bit older (in school), I'll work full time again.

howleyshell · November 2011

When I'm at home full time I can't wait to get away from my kids.

When I work I can't wait to spend time with them.

I work part time. It seems to be the perfect balance for our family.

I get to keep my foot in the door in my industry where a long hole in my resume would have killed my career. I get a couple of extra "Mommy days" each week with my kids and they still get to go to a great school where they learn more than I would teach them at this point and get to have tons of fun with cool friends.

Once they're both in public school I'll go back to work full time.

kfriscia · November 2011

I SAH. It is the hardest thing I have ever done and somedays I miss my job. The cost of daycare for two kids just didn't make sense with my salary. DH makes a slightly above average salary for our area. We don't go out to eat a lot or take vacations. We live in Florida and do a lot of day trips to the beach or local theme parks. We budget and don't often buy things for ourselves. However our budget isn't so tight that DH can't buy an occasionally video game and just this afternoon I picked up some new Christmas decorations at Target. I plan on going back to work when lo #3 is in school. I am definitely finding that the older they get the more expensive they are. A simple trip to McDonalds or to a Movie is getting costly now that ds#2 is almost two and is no longer free. And ds#1 is in school part time which is a new monthly expense.

roundtheworldgirl · November 2011

I was a strictly SAHM from DD1's birth until about four months ago. DD1 was 21 months and DD2 was 9 months when I went back to work very part-time (6-10 hours per week). We have always had to budget and live frugally, but I don't have a problem with that - it's how I was raised.

CBBB2010 · November 2011

I'm going to continue working when #2 comes. To me, staying in the workforce is important. My career path has become pretty specialized and if I were to leave I'm fairly certain I'd have to start over entry level making significantly less when I did go back to work. I'm also happy that I'm going to continue contributing to my 401k. We're going to have both kids in the daycare center that we take DS to now and it is going to be ridiculously expensive, but we really love our DCP and don't want to leave them to find a cheaper alternative. There will be quite a bit of budgeting in my house when we do have 2 kids in daycare.

FusionLMT · November 2011

I work very minimally (less than 10 hours per week, cutting down to about 5 soon) as a massage therapist. I do this in the evenings and weekends when DH can watch the kid(s). This mainly just gives me blow money and wiggle room, and during the end of pregnancy and the first few months of a baby's life I don't make anything. DH makes plenty for us to pay bills, live comfortably, and contribute to retirement and savings, but we are not wealthy by any means. I will probably continue to do something like this for the rest of my life. We plan on 4 kids and want to homeschool, so I doubt I will ever work full time.

TheMutleys · November 2011

I came back to this because I don't believe that there is any one answer.

There are so many variables that go into the decision. I think that this replies in this post show many different options. Every family can have unique perspectives and situations that make it a really great thing, or a not so great thing.

If we were making this decision, I would make a list of all of the pros and cons. Then I would rank them according to their priority in our family.

I would look at the financial, emotional and physical aspects of your choices. I also think that 'comfortable' is a relative term.

kellelle01 · November 2011

TheMutleys:

I came back to this because I don't believe that there is any one answer.

There are so many variables that go into the decision. I think that this replies in this post show many different options. Every family can have unique perspectives and situations that make it a really great thing, or a not so great thing.

If we were making this decision, I would make a list of all of the pros and cons. Then I would rank them according to their priority in our family.

I would look at the financial, emotional and physical aspects of your choices. I also think that 'comfortable' is a relative term.

Very true! And I'm glad I asked this because it did show me all of the other options instead of just stay at home or stay at work full time. I'm kind of in the boat as others mentioned where it would be hard to get back into my career should I leave it for a few years. I really don't think we could live off of just DH's salary, so I'm thinking my options are to stay at my job full time and find a different provider for DS that's cheaper or to find a different career/job that would allow me to work less or different hours.

Thank you so much for the information!

CaitlinJ22 · November 2011

I SAH. I was going back to school when I found out I was pg with DS. DH was making ok money then and we could deal with 1 income while I was in school...then I got pg and we decided to move closer to a bigger city and towards some family. When we moved I was 26 weeks along and nannied about 5-10 hours a week until a month before I was due with DS. My plan was to go back to school when he was 8 months, but I realized I loved staying home and wanted more kids sooner. We talked about it and Dh agreed. I decided i could go back to school when my kids were in school if i wanted too. We then had DD and now I am pg again. With DH's job he is gone for 3 wks then home for 3 wks, so for me to work FT would be hard on the kids. They would barely see either parent. I am happy at home, and love watching the grow up. Is it hard? yes! but I love it.

I am cheap with certain things, so I coupon and look for deals, but we dont really have a budget.

When they are older I will continue school so I can plan to work at least PT when they are in HS and older.

akbride25 · November 2011

I am a SAHM. I wouldn't be bringing anything home one I calculate the cost of daycare and gas.

We don't have a lot to extra, but we are able to do the occasional splurge, and we are still putting money into savings. We keep our budget down by not having tv, not having cell phone plans (just a prepaid emergency phone), and we bought a major fixer-upper and did the work ourselves.

Megan.10.06 · November 2011

I SAH. We don't really stick to a budget beyond what bills get paid what week... we are comfortable. But, we live in a very LCOL area, my husband is in the top pay rate at his job, and he's owned the house for 15 years so our mortgage payment is less than rent nowadays. We aren't rich, but I can buy what I want when I want to mostly. And with overtime available whenever he wants to, if we want a big purchase, it's not too far away.

That being said, I don't have a degree, so if I went back to work, I would be a waitress. It would cost more in daycare for 2 kids than I would make.

Personally, my decision was easy. It was established before we had kids I would be a SAHM. But the best situation is what makes you the best mom. If you are going to be so stressed about money and penny pinching if you are home, it may be best to go to work. If you are so stressed at work and bring it home to your kids, it may be best to stay home. Just look at your life and your family, and make your decision off of that.

rhiainhm · November 2011

I just went back to work 2 weeks ago. I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old. I went back part time. We can't afford to stay at home since our benefits are through my employer. However daycare is about $1300/month for 4 days/wk for both. My ideal scenario would be to work 3 days a week (not 4). It's a nice enough income, balance between kids and work. But you will have to decide what works best for you. Daycare is expensive, but if I could stay at home I probably would. At least for the first few years. I love my babies and spending time with them. Time with my kids is more important to me now than anything I could possibly purchase. Ever.

KRISTA555 · November 2011

SAHM.

We live comfortably, but on a budget. We are both pretty frugal naturally though, so even if DH made millions we would still be on a budget.

ETA: "Comfortable" to us may not be considered comfortable for you. We don't drive the newest cars, we have no debt, we coupon and deal-shop, and we will be living the next year in a tiny house so that we can save up cash to buy a house at auction. However, we also eat out pretty much when we want, and if we really want to buy something we budget for it and get it. I guess it just depends on your perspective. We are comfortable with our lifestyle, others may not be.

MammaBear81 · November 2011

Both of us worked full time (DH just got laid off). We have an au pair, which works out to be about $1350 per month, all fees included. With DH's lay off, he might end up being a SAHD, but it would be a VERY tight budget for us. The choice between SAH and working really depends on the COL in your area, as well as your desire to SAH, some people work just to pay the daycare bill because they want to work. Others tighten their belts and live a simpler life because SAH is very important to them. Either way you can make it work.

jf198400 · November 2011

I am currently working FT. DD is in daycare ($1200/month). After LO2 arrives, my mom is going to watch both children and I will hopefully go to working only 4 days a week. Ideally I would love to be a SAHM but its not financially possible for us. If I did not have my mom, I would need to find a cheaper daycare option for my 2, there's no way I could afford the cost of both in a center.

etude de la vie · November 2011

I am a SAHM and we live comfortably but I am still frugal. I like to use a coupon when I can (but I don't own a coupon book or anything crazy), shop clearance, and bargain hunt even though I don't really have to.

My salary was going to be the cost to put them in day care and it would push DH and I into a new tax bracket making it a loose-loose situation.

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