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Trouble TTC
TTC month 11 w/ irregular periods
After Christmas last year DH and I decided to start TTC. Based on our mother's experiences with getting pregnant I thought we'd have it pretty easy (my parent's got pregnant the first month they were married, his parent's were pregnant with him when they got married). I've gone to my gyno a few times this year (jan. annual exam, in the spring bc I was hopeful with some symptoms and a late period, then sept. with symptoms of miscarriage). I asked questions about TTC, BBT, basically my doc gave me way less info than this website has and literally laughed at me when I asked about BBT and said the OPK is way more modern but BBT is old school and can be helpful.
I just feel like I need someone to talk to who understands the emotional pain I'm going through. My mom listens well but she doesn't know what to say bc she didn't have trouble so she just tries her best to be supportive and gives hugs when needed. DH wants children, has always talked about having kids but isn't very understanding of how I feel, he just says it will happen when it's God's time...which I agree with, but at the same time I have a burning desire in me to be a mother. I haven't always been baby obsessed but sometime last year I guess I got bit by the baby bug.
I'm really tired of friends telling me I just need to relax and it will happen...it's been almost a year...don't they think I've tried that! We have tried some of the TTC tips from the articles in here, we are both taking a multi-vitamin, we are kinda green living people already so chemicals aren't a big interference, we've changed our diets to be even healthier (as organic as we can find), we both have moderate work out levels and enjoy the occasional hike, and we're both young (I'm 22, DH is 28). I don't know what more to try aside from going the testing route. Doc says in January we can start talking about testing. I'm not really looking forward to any of that. DH and I both have a naturalist view on things, don't pop pills at the slightest sniffle or ache. I've never really trusted doctors...when I was very little I kept hearing everyone saying my great-grandmother was going to die any day now....well she lived through that for 8 more years. They were really off. As you can imagine I would like to have a natural birth at home with a midwife when the time comes. It just makes it hard to try to explain our mentality to a doctor who is really the only option we have to talk to until pregnant. Or as far as I know that's my only option.
Well anyway, it's been 39 days since my last cycle, and as always I'm hoping this is the one. But as always I have no idea if we did it on the right day. I have very irregular periods (30-42 days between cycles) and I don't know how to do a timing method with that. Another confusing part is that I've read when the cervical fluid is the consistency of an egg white, that means ovulation is imminent. Well my CF was egg white on the 13th this month and the ovulation calculator on this website says that's a week late from their estimated ovulation. We tried on the 13th, but now it's the waiting game.
This is always the hardest time for me, my boobs hurt when I'm about to get my period so I don't know if I can take that as a pregnancy symptom. I don't want to be that person that convinces herself that she's pregnant and really isn't. With those longer times between periods I got so hopeful and took every PMS symptom as a pregnancy symptom and was crushed when AF came. I don't want to keep getting my hopes up and having them crushed, but at the same time I want to be a mommy and I can't help but wondering every month if this will be the time it happens. On top of that, friends are having babies and I'm happy for them but at the same time I'm so jealous. I just keep wondering what I'm doing wrong that they can have babies and I can't.
I'm sorry this post was so long, and thank you in advance to anyone that takes the time to read this. I just need to get all these thoughts out to people who understand this struggle. If anyone has any advice, suggestions, insight, or encouragement, I would really appreciate it!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: TTC month 11 w/ irregular periods
I do understand your aversion to doctors and wanting to do things the natural approach (some women on here do accupunture and other natural things) but it's really good to get tested first. You need to know if something is wrong. Then after you have all the information then you can make an informed decision. Otherwise your going in blind.
Welcome to the board, I hope you find it helpful
Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
Dec 27- third miscarriage
May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
I'm sorry you're frustrated. If you haven't already, I would check out the newbie link on TTGP. It has a lot of helpful information.
As far as your doctor and charting go, I have some thoughts. 1. You don't have to stick with a doctor who doesn't share your philosophy. Certainly he's not the only one you can see. OPKs are only helpful in possbly detecting a surge that may be present before ovulation. They don't confirm it. 2. If you do end up seeing a specialist, they will likelyask for charts.Charting will help make sure you do your testing at the right time as well as help give the specialist hints as to what's going on with your cycles. I would recommend charting for 3 cycles to see what's going on and arm yourself with more info.
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
Wow, where do I start? First off, if you don't think your doctor is taking you seriously, then find another one. There's no reason to allow someone to make you feel like that.
Second, varying cycle lengths does not mean you have irregular periods. It means you are ovulating on different days on your cycle, which is perfectly normal.
Next, you cannot time things based on a calendar or an app or your "usual cycle length" or anything like that. It sure sounds like it's time to start temping and using OPKs so you can better pinpoint when you are Oing. In addition to that, having sex on the one night that you have EWCM isn't really put forth your best effort, is it? Try using the OPKs every day starting on CD10 (you can get them cheap on amazon, use them in the late afternoon for best results) so you can have sex in the couple of days leading up to O (the test indicates that you may O in the next 12 to 48 hours). Ideally, you want the sperm to be waiting for the egg when it "drops", so sex before you O is actually the best, as opposed to just on O day.
I agree with PP that you should check out the newbie link, read taking Charge of Your Fertility and/or try fertilityfriend.com for charting tutorials. If you do all of these things for several months and can now say with more confidence that you are timing intercourse properly, then that is valuable information to take to a doctor.
My last piece of advice is to not be afraid to get the testing you need. You don't want to look back another year from now and kick yourself for not even trying to find out if something is keeping you from conceiving. It may lead to a doctor suggesting meds or procedures, but ultimately, the course of care you take is up to you. If you want to try acupuncture or herbal remedies, etc. once you know what (if anything) is going on, you can certainly do that. But ignorance is not bliss when it comes to fertility.
Good luck to you!
Honest question: what are irregular periods then?
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
I just need to add, I've been charting my periods since January, and started charting BBT in Oct. Also, this month we weren't really planning on trying bc we were told to wait 1-3 months after a miscarriage to start trying again, so we were planning on waiting another month but had a spontaneous moment which happened to be the same day as EWCM. That wasn't our usual method, we were trying the 2 weeks surrounding our best estimation of ovulation.
Also, that's the first time I've heard anyone say that varying cycle lengths and irregular periods were different things. Does Taking Charge of Your Fertility talk about that in there? I had gotten that book from the library a long time ago (beginning of trying) but was too busy with work to devote the time to read it then. Since then, I've heard of a book on the Billings Method. I don't know if they are similar but I've been thinking if this month is another BFN I'd try reading a book like that.
Where is the newbie link you two are talking about? Under community or articles? I've been reading articles on here off and on since March. I've read all the "fertility tricks", "charting BBT", "ovulation and conception" type articles, is there more of that type of information on that link?
It's at the top of the Trying to Get Pregnant board. I've posted it for you here.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/42877040.aspx
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
Honestly, those are all pretty useless. TB itself doesn't endorse charting - they just want people here talking so they make their money - so their "helpful" info is all shallow and/or bogus. Example, one big "tip" I got in an email was to ditch birth control. Really? I have to ditch BCPs to get pregnant? Crazy. ::eye roll:: The newbie link has information you can actually use.
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
definitely read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, it will answer a lot of your questions and it is kind of the Bible when it comes to charting and watching your body for natural signs of ovulation. The fertility friend website also has lots of info, but you do have to pay to access some of it.
Also since you mentioned being kind of averse to doctors/medications, check out the book Making Babies. It covers many topics but does have several sections about Chinese medicine which is a more holistic approach including techniques like acupuncture. It offers a bit of a different perspective.
I think finding a doctor you are comfortable with is really important. I love mine and he came recommended by a friend and also my PCP who used him for her own care.
Even if you don't want to jump right in with fertility medications, having labwork and a semen analysis for your husband will give you lots of good information to help you figure out what to do next.
Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
To me, it means your period is unusually long, short, heavy or light or you have intermittment spotting or you have it for 2 weeks, then get it again 2 weeks later... stuff like that. Having an average flow period that may be spaced out longer than 28 days is normal in my eyes.