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Parenting after 35
nursesrh
member
I truly think I am one and done....
nursesrh
member
HI all. We have a 1 month old and I think that is really all I can handle. And she is a calm baby. I can only imagine if she were a colicky baby. I always thought I would have at least 2 children. I am really happy with the one that we have. At this point I have no desire to add to our family!
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Re: I truly think I am one and done....
Your choice eh! At 1 month old though, I think we all feel that way, no matter what. I remember being so exhausted with L that I was dizzy, and really thought there was no way I'd have more. I even locked him in our car, keys and all, at 6 weeks old, I was so tired. I felt bad for the dispatch at AMA, I was crying so hard she couldn't understand me. Poor tow truck driver must have thought I was mental.
Give yourself time before making that ultimate decision. If it is for you, great, but newborns are a ton of work and it is so much harder as a ftm to make that adjustment. Get some rest and don't worry if everything isn't perfectly perfect, just look after you and lo!
You may very well be one and done?I knew I was even during my pregnancy, though the decision was not based upon how my son was as a newborn. The first 3 months are rough, even with the easiest baby. So while your decision may stand in a year's time, it could also change. You never know.
That being said... having just one is perfectly fine. I know!
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
I remember thinking when I was pregnant w/#2, and #1 was acting up, that maybe 1 child was too much! Don't worry, it does get better, once you get some sleep. And to have more children is your own personal choice.
I thought I was done with 2 - but I wasn't willing to make a final decision. We left it up to chance more or less and ended up with #3.
On the way down the hall to my emergency C-section the doctor asked me if I wanted my tubes tied "while she was in there." I FREAKED at the thought. Which means that while I'm overwhelmed, sleep deprived, have spit up on every item of clothing I own, I'm not sure I'm done. I would be fine with 3. There are lots of advantages to my bonus baby growing up with adult siblings (I'm really looking forward to the day of not interogating 2 teenagers over "who did it"). We'll see how we're feeling about it in 6 month, a year. I'm 43 now but won't consider myself "too old" until I've hit menopause.
LO was 2 days old, I was still in the hospital (c-section), and every now & then I found myself thinking that I could hardly wait to start TTC the next.
Fast forward 8 months later: LO is normally a great sleeper, but was up every few hours last night screaming and I found myself thinking "yeah, I think we're good with one." But I really don't feel that way. Tonight LO was on the floor playing, laughing & having a grand old time banging blocks on the floor & I found myself looking forward to the next LO.
It's hard in the beginning. I had a honeymoon period the first week home with our LO. The next week when MH went back to work, the honeymoon was over. My mom came & stayed with us for a week & the honeymoon was back on. A few days after she left I was pretty much screaming for my mom to come back.
The one piece of advice I really wish I had followed (yet despised when people gave it to me): sleeping when the baby sleeps. I chose to play on FB, answer emails, do something silly like laundry...by the time I was ready to sleep, LO would wake up.
Aw, give yourself time to make that decision. Your little one is going to amaze you more and more day by day and you might just get tricked into wanting another.;)
Your life has just changed drastically. Many moms have 9 months of the "OMG this is real" feeling, from morning sickness,endless appointments, to the baby moving inside etc. I am sure you had been planning the adoption for awhile and longing and praying for your baby for a long time, but perhaps it wasn't fully real until she was in your arms? ( I have heard this form several friends who have adopted) Bonding keeps growing stronger and stronger over time. That bond and love you form with your DD might trick you into wanting more. Wait until she is at a super fun stage... say 14 months.. you might want to do it all over again because kiddos are so fun and loving....and they also grow way too fast!
There is nothing wrong with being one and done though. My DS is 5 and I have loved the time with just the two of us. He is amazing! Life was perfect with just him, and it will be just as it is supposed to be when #2 arrives.
I just say give yourself time. If two kiddos were in your heart before, perhaps they still will be. Growing into parenting and bonding is a process for all of us.
Enjoy that precious baby of yours! Adoption is so amazing! Congrats!
We're one and done too. But to echo the others.... 1 month is hard, no matter how easy the baby. You may truly be one and done, and there is nothing wrong with that. but if you had always thought you'd have more than 1 - I wouldn't be making any firm decisions yet!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
click the pic (blog)
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO