Postpartum Depression
ksspiff
member
Monday Check-In
ksspiff
member
Howdy ladies,
It's Monday again. blurg. I wish there was an easier way to ease back into work.. anyway.
If you are new, please feel free to introduce yourself and share a little of your PPD story. Everyone is invited to tell how your week went. Veteran's day was Friday. Do people get that off? Do kids go to school? I don't remember.
Questions:Since there's been talk about breastfeeding lately, I thought I'd try to cover a little bit more.
What were your breastfeeding plans back when you were pregnant?
When did you stop and why?
Did you feel guilt? If so, how did you deal with it?
Did you feel relief?
Did you have family and friends who had very vocal opinions about your decision, either way?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Monday Check-In
Hey, I'm Kristen, my daughter is almost 8 months old and I started treatment (Zoloft) for PPD/PPA around 6 weeks.
This week was ok. We think E is teething. We've thought this at least a dozen times in the last 5 months and have nothing to show for it. But surely she'll get some teeth this time, right? All that fussyness and crying has to be for a good reason, right? I didn't have work on Friday because we work 9/80s, but I wasn't able to do my errands at the bank or library because of Veterans day. So instead we did a flu shot and shopping at Khols.
My breastfeeding plans were to do it at least 6 months with a target of 1 year. I was all excited. My husband and I took the class, I bought a nice Madela pump. I bought nursing bras!
I stopped around 8 weeks
1) difficulties latching, even after home visits with a LC
2) painrful reflux led to low weight gain and my supply tanking
3) I couldn't keep up with EP and the lack of sleep
4) with PPD the stress and responsibility ramped up to a crazy level.
Yes, I felt guilt. I cried. I felt like a terrible mother and a failure at the 'most natural way to feed a baby.' To deal with it I made my husband write me a letter about how I was making the right choice, and I read this post by The Bloggess. Then I went to the grocery store and bought myself a bunch of stuff to make myself feel better:
I didn't feel relief until DH started doing the late night feedings and I started getting more sleep. then it was amazing.
I'm lucky that all of my family and friends were very supportive of my decision to start breastfeeding, and then to stop when I did. My mom even shared her experience with BF my older brother and she had to quit because it was just too much pressure and responsibility.
Do I win for longest response to my own post?
Hi, I'm Daniella. Diagnosed with PPD when DD was 8 weeks. Week was ok, I had Friday off. We took a weekend trip to SD with my inlaws, it was supposed to be fun, but I didn't enjoy myself. See earlier post
What were your breastfeeding plans back when you were pregnant? When I was pregnant, my plan was to BF for 6 months, we took 2 classes and I also bought a fancy pump. I was ready to go!
When did you stop and why? I stopped putting her to breast the day after I was diagnosed with PPD. DD had latching issues, would scream and wail when I'd put her to breast, I felt like she was rejecting me. We had a few LCs come to the house and one even told me to EP bc my relationship w/ my daughter would suffer. I didn't listen and kept trying until my appt with Dr at 8 weeks. I started EP at that point until 10 -11 weeks. I couldn't keep up with it, I was exhausted, and DD seemed to prefer formula over my milk. She also had reflux issues.
Did you feel guilt? If so, how did you deal with it? I had tons of guilt, felt like I failed. I also felt like I had to always justify my reasons for stopping to everyone not bc they asked, but bc I needed to tell them. I was the only person who needed justification, nobody really cared, lol. I can laugh now. My husband was great and really helped me with guilt. Every night we'd hold DD together and he would tell me how proud of me he was for sticking with pumping. He would also have a glass of wine and piece of chocolate (2 things I couldn't enjoy when I was pumping) for me when he knew I was having a rough day. I also started getting back to the gym to help take my mind off of the guilt, this did wonders for me!!!
Did you feel relief? Yes and no. Yes, because I did feel like I was able to enjoy DD more, but no because I had horrible guilt.
Did you have family and friends who had very vocal opinions about your decision, either way? For the most part, everyone was great. I have one cousin who would get on my case about it (bugged me about benefits for baby, bonding, etc.) When I finally told her about PPD, she never commented again.
Hello ladies. I'm sorry you both struggled with BFing but I'm glad we are discussing the topic! To review, I'm Laura and had antenatal (while pg) OCD & depression and was diagnosed with PPD/PPA at 2 weeks PP! Started therapy right away and meds at about 6 weeks.
What were your breastfeeding plans back when you were pregnant? I'd hope to BF for a full year.
When did you stop and why? We introduced formula at just shy of 6 months. I got pretty sick with some crazy allergic reaction and was told by a few doctors to pump and dump bc of my meds. So I did for a few days. That took a toll on my body, as did the stress of the illness. When I recovered, my supply started to build back up, until I got sick again. After that, I stopped pumping at work. We still BF in the am and the pm.
Did you feel guilt? If so, how did you deal with it? I felt lots of guilt. After E was born, it was really hard for me to BF. It added to my anxiety and OCD a ton! E was not a 'by the book' eater so I stressed she wasn't getting enough when she only ate for 5 mins on one side. I almost quit early on, but kept going. I was upset that we stopped not really on my own terms and that introducing formula happened much more suddenly than I hoped.
Did you feel relief? Not pumping at work is awesome!
Did you have family and friends who had very vocal opinions about your decision, either way? Nope. My husband saw that I was struggling, both with pumping and the decision to stop. He didn't push me to stop pumping before I was ready but he did reassure me that stopping was OK.
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
Hi my name is Kerry and I was just diagnosed about 1 month ago with PPD. My son is 9 months old. Last week was pretty bad...I felt like I was under a cloud of darkness for most of the week. I have anxiety and depression but last week the depression was just completely enveloping me.I just feel so hopeless and full of despair. I honestly don`'t understand how I manage to take care of my son and get myself to work on a daily basis. I have been going to my psychiatrist weekly and he just added Abilify to my meds so hopefully that will help me feel better soon.
What were your breastfeeding plans back when you were pregnant? I was going to breastfeed and if that didn't work out I was going to pump.
When did you stop and why? I only tried to breastfeed in the hospital and the first night we were home. DS was in the NICU for 5 days and he was a month early. It was hard to get him to latch, and I was completely overwhelmed about it. There was also the thought that I might want to go back on my meds soon after his birth, so I went straight to pumping. Pumping was easier but DS was colic and I had to cut so much out of my diet. He would cry all day and at night when we supplemented with formula he would be fine. He was diagnosed with reflux at 7 weeks and that helped a little. At 9 weeks when I went back to work we decided to just go full formula and he became a different child. He was happy and would nap. It was amazing.
Did you feel guilt? If so, how did you deal with it? I did feel guilt. I feel like I bagged out on not even really attempting to breastfeed. I also feel a ton of guilt that he came a month early. I really think the major anxiety attack I had the week he was born might have facilitated labor and I will forever wonder if that is what happened. I felt guilty going to straight formula. Formula is expensive and my mother-in-law kept telling me that breastfeeding is best and could help prevent diabetes (my husband is type 1). I still feel guilt b/c I feel like I gave up b/c I couldn't enjoy anything that I like to eat. I haven't really dealt with it well and am still harboring the guilt.
Did you feel relief? Yes and no. Yes, because DS was happier and we didn't have as many gas issues, but no b/c I felt like a bad mom for not trying to stick with pumping.
Did you have family and friends who had very vocal opinions about your decision, either way? Most people were good. My mother-in-law advocated for breastfeeding b/c it could potentially decrease DS's chance of getting type 1 diabetes, but when she saw the impact it had on DS, she said i made the right decision.
I'm Ami, and I was diagnosed last week. I just started Celexa. Does anyone get really bad headaches from it?
I'm having a lot of problems with exhaustion. I could barely move. And it's not like I'm not getting a chance to sleep. I've been sleeping most of today. My MIL has been helping out during the day and my husband has really been a big help at night. Anyone else just absolutely positively exhausted?
I decided to change my therapist after my first session with her and realizing she's someone from church. Hopefully it;ll work out well to switch.
For the breastfeeding questions...
What were your breastfeeding plans back when you were pregnant?: I intended on EBF.
When did you stop and why?: I stopped last week because I started Celexa and I was concerned about what would be passed on to the little guy. Plus we had a bad latch, it was exhausting, my breasts were raw from the bad latches and I had tons of clogged ducts.
Did you feel guilt? If so, how did you deal with it? I still feel really guilty about it.
Did you feel relief? Not really feeling the relief right now.
Did you have family and friends who had very vocal opinions about your decision, either way? My MIL was very supportive of my decision to BF. When I started running into the problems, she was less than. She gave me a really hard time about giving up. My friends made a lot of jokes and my mom is the least helpful with her comments. I'm still having a tough time having given up on this, sorry if this seems like a bit of a ramble.
Hi, I'm Liz. Lilah is 6 weeks old, she is our first child. I was officially diagnosed with PPD last Wednesday, but I have been battling with depression/on Zoloft for about 15 years. Last week was a bad week, I was very emotional about not really feeling a lot of emotion about the baby. I've been feeling very flat and distant, I didn't feel that enormous rush of emotion the first time I saw her that everyone talks about, and it doesn't break my heart to hear her cry, I just want it to stop. I didn't truly notice it until about 2 weeks ago when the baby nurse left and I started feeling extremely anxious that it was going to be just me and her all day every day. My psychiatrist upped my dosage last week, hopefully it helps because it makes me feel like a bad mother and a bad person.
I wasn't sure whether I was going to BF because of the Zoloft. I had gone off while ttc and assumed I would be off the whole pregnancy, but after the first trimester, I went back on, I was not doing well. My Dr told me it was ok to bf on the medication so I figured I'd try it, if it worked, great, if not, that's ok too. I'm not one of those people who ties my ability as a woman to bfing.
I haven't completely stopped, but now I'm mailnly pumping and bottle feeding. I really just don't particularly enjoy breast feeding and the way my body feels before, during and after. I also like to know how much she's eating. I'm sure I will dry up soon and we will go through the stash in the freezer quickly.
I don't really feel anything about my decision to wean her off yet, I'm sure I will.
Everyone has been very supportive. They all tell me how impressed they are that I've stuck with it for this long. They will be ok with whatever I choose to do. In this case, they all believe, my body, my baby, my decision.
Ugh I am a little late. I was sick all week. It really sucks to be sick and have my DD learn how to crawl super fast now.
1. I planned on taking breastfeeding one day at a time.
2. I stopped after two weeks so I could go on medicine I knew worked for me. It is not safe to breastfeed on Lexapro.
3. I felt super guilty. It was the only thing I was good ( at least that is what I thought at the time) She was so good at it.
4. I felt no relief until a few weeks later when I knew she was growing and healthy.
5. My family just wanted me to do whatever I could to feel better. DH had a hard time with me stopping. It caused quite a few fights.