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How to handle this? LOOOOOONG

firsttogofirsttogo
in Success after IF

I have a neighbor that we are polite and friendly to, as in wave when getting in the car, and when kids are playing outside. The dad recently got a job, and they asked us about babysitters. We gave them some suggestions, and that was that. 

They ended up going with a (male) family friend who is kind of a dirtbag. He stands outside and smokes, has a beer when the kids are outside ect. *I am sure the parents know about that as when the dad was home, the friend did this with the dad.

Anywho, the kids are like 2 and 6. So When the Manny goes to get the 6 year old from school, I have noticed the past few days that he does not bring the little guy with him. So, I am assuming that the 2 year old is left home possibly napping, alone when this guy goes to get the older kid at school. 

I do not know the parents well at all, but I know that if this were going on at my house... well it would not be going on at my house. It is dangerous I think.

BUT, I do not have solid proof that this is what is going on, All I know is that I see the sitter leave alone, get in his car, come back with the older kid. No 2 year old with them. Other than that, sitter is there all day every day.  We live in a pretty quiet small town, But school is a few minutes away, and I just don't think it is ever ok to leave a child like that. I don't even like mowing the lawn when they are napping!

So, would you say something? To the parents, or police, or just stay out of it? Mom and dad seem very conscientious when we see them. Both kids always appear to be supervised outside when parents are home. I worry about calling the police, and the parents getting in trouble, or something, or to be wrong about the situation completely. 

WWYD? 

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Re: How to handle this? LOOOOOONG

  • OscarQOscarQ member

    Could you phrase it like a question?  Such as "Hey, I noticed Manny is taking care of the 6yo.  Who did you get to watch the 2yo?"  And then let the questions flow naturally from there.  

    I expect they'd ask why you think Manny doesn't have baby #2 and you can then say that you noticed he doesn't take the baby with him to get #1 so you figured they'd worked out some other arrangement.

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  • MouseygailMouseygail member
    imageOscarQ:

    Could you phrase it like a question?  Such as "Hey, I noticed Manny is taking care of the 6yo.  Who did you get to watch the 2yo?"  And then let the questions flow naturally from there.  

    I expect they'd ask why you think Manny doesn't have baby #2 and you can then say that you noticed he doesn't take the baby with him to get #1 so you figured they'd worked out some other arrangement.

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  • lrrblrrb
    I would NOT call the police.  You don't know whats going on in there and I don't think thats the best place to start.  I think you should go out for a "walk" when he is outside and maybe say something like, hey when you go and pick up the 6 year old, I notice you don't have the 2 year old with you, do you want me to watch him for a few minutes?  Maybe he will get the idea that you know something is up and get his act together????  I just would start somewhere there before I called the police....

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  • Mrs.BabbsyMrs.Babbsy member

    I will have to think about this, but i would definitely have to do something

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  • ladychicagoladychicago member
    imageOscarQ:

    Could you phrase it like a question?  Such as "Hey, I noticed Manny is taking care of the 6yo.  Who did you get to watch the 2yo?"  And then let the questions flow naturally from there.  

    I expect they'd ask why you think Manny doesn't have baby #2 and you can then say that you noticed he doesn't take the baby with him to get #1 so you figured they'd worked out some other arrangement.

    I was going to say something like this.    Or getting at it by asking if they need any additional help during the time when Manny picks up the 6yo from school.    

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  • firsttogofirsttogo
    Good plans ladies! At this point, I have tried to make sure I am in my living room (where I can see the house) or in the front yard with the kids when he goes just so I can try to keep an eye on the house. It makes me so nervous. 
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  • supernedsuperned member

    I think this is a situation where you do not need "solid proof."  It's not your responsibility to determine if neglect is happening, but I do believe it would be my responsibility to report my suspicions, either to the police or to Child Protective Services.

    If you have the chance to find out what's going on from the parents before the Manny comes again, I would do that and give them the opportunity to correct the situation (or to find out for sure that you're wrong).  But the next time I saw that going on, I'd be calling 911 immediately and following up with a call to Child Protective.

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  • TheSkimmyTheSkimmy member
    Could you call the teacher and have him/her ask or find out? 
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    I would tell the parents. "Hey, I noticed that when Bob picked up Jason the other day, he didn't take Billy with him. Does he have someone helping him out during the day?"

    I can't really see how they'd be upset at you for that, and if they are, oh well.

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  • cjsbdlcjsbdl member
    imageDr.Loretta:

    I would tell the parents. "Hey, I noticed that when Bob picked up Jason the other day, he didn't take Billy with him. Does he have someone helping him out during the day?"

    I can't really see how they'd be upset at you for that, and if they are, oh well.

    I agree. If they don't know, they will thank you. If this is something they do know is going on (if it is, indeed, happening) then I wouldn't care if they are embarassed/pissed/whatever.

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  • Sara ScissorsSara Scissors
    imagecjsbdl:
    imageDr.Loretta:

    I would tell the parents. "Hey, I noticed that when Bob picked up Jason the other day, he didn't take Billy with him. Does he have someone helping him out during the day?"

    I can't really see how they'd be upset at you for that, and if they are, oh well.

    I agree. If they don't know, they will thank you. If this is something they do know is going on (if it is, indeed, happening) then I wouldn't care if they are embarassed/pissed/whatever.

    Ditto! 

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  • kianewkianew
    imageSara Scissors:
    imagecjsbdl:
    imageDr.Loretta:

    I would tell the parents. "Hey, I noticed that when Bob picked up Jason the other day, he didn't take Billy with him. Does he have someone helping him out during the day?"

    I can't really see how they'd be upset at you for that, and if they are, oh well.

    I agree. If they don't know, they will thank you. If this is something they do know is going on (if it is, indeed, happening) then I wouldn't care if they are embarassed/pissed/whatever.

    Ditto! 

    Agreed!!

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