First RE Appointment - a lot on my mind (long)

liz4paws · November 2011

I had my first RE appointment with DH on Wednesday. She spent an hour with us in her office talking about our medical history, and spent quite a bit of time talking about DH's recent and only SA. DH and I are hopeful that his urologist can help improve his numbers, but if they remain the same, IVF will be out only hope. I am praying that DH's poor SA was related to a blood pressure medication he was taking (Calcium Channel Blocker, which I understand can be spermageddon according to Dr. Google) although the RE and Uro didn't seem to put too much weight into that theory. We have to wait and see. Does anyone have any experience with DH being on hypertension medication and if so, what were SAs for you?

She looked at my FF charts and agreed that I do ovulate despite my low progesterone results. And while my OB had diagnosed me with PCOS using only blood tests, the RE was hesitant to get 100% on board with that unless she saw polycystic ovaries, and also keep in mind I have a history of very regular cycles. So finally we did my first ultrasound, and strangely enough she had a hard time seeing my ovaries at all! She said it may have been caused by scar tissue (I had a ruptured appendix when I was 9 years old, or she says that endometriosis may be on the table too.) But from what she could see, my ovaries appeared to be normal size and not polycycstic. I had no fibroids and my uterus appeared to be a normal shape. It?s been hard realizing that the "answers" that PCOS gave me are now being put up for debate. Has anyone else had ovaries that were difficult to see on ultrasound? And if so, what did your RE say about it? Anyone else in a similar boat with maybe/maybe not PCOS?

So here is the crazy "lets throw-caution-to-the-wind" part - she said that it wouldn't hurt to try a couple of natural IUIs since my insurance will cover it through the end of the year, but after that we change insurance companies with no IF coverage. We are all going into it knowing it would be a miracle for it to be successful, but at least we are trying something new. I?m supposed to ovulate next weekend, so praying that a miracle happens, I know that is what it will require.

I have my first HSG scheduled for next cycle, and a 2 hr glucose tolerance test. I feel super overwhelmed with all of the "what if's" especially since she couldn't see my ovaries well, is questioning PCOS, AND is now mentioning endometriosis. I thought I'd feel better after this first appointment, but in some ways I find myself feeling worse - very confused! And because I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, I called to find out how much the IVF 6 cycle financing package is, and with the "refund option" it will be in the realm of 35k. Holy moly.

In addition to starting on our IF journey, my mom has been battling stage 4 colon cancer, and it looks like things are progressing pretty steadily now. Again, unless a miracle happens, we will mostly likely lose her in the coming weeks/months. For what it?s worth, I had a really good tear-filled conversation about how much I love her, and how incredible she is. During that conversation, she promised me that if I am not KU by the time she passes, she will do everything she can in heaven to "pull some strings" and ensure we are given a child one way or another. I know it?s way silly, but it did bring me some level of closure since I have been really torn up knowing my mom will likely never meet my child during this lifetime.

So, thanks for reading all of this, I know it was long. Friday should be a happy day but I'm feeling really overwhelmed, pretty sad, and have had all of this on my mind. You ladies are wonderful, and I hope you don't mind me lurking and posting from time to time. Just had to get all of this out there.

tatercater · November 2011

Oh honey!!

I have no words of wisdom, but I am so sorry that you're dealing with all of this in addition to your mom's health. She sounds like an amazing woman! Hugs to you!!

liz4paws · November 2011

tatercater:

Oh honey!!

I have no words of wisdom, but I am so sorry that you're dealing with all of this in addition to your mom's health. She sounds like an amazing woman! Hugs to you!!

Aww, thank you. She is amazing! So much so, that the high school where she teaches is actually starting a scholarship in her name! I am so proud to be her daughter, words can't even describe. She will be so incredibly missed, by more than just her family.

steff13914 · November 2011

I have no words, just hugs! ((liz4paws)) I'm so sorry you have all of this going on right now. Hoping the tests all turn out good and that natural IUI is your miracle!

liz4paws · November 2011

steff13914:

I have no words, just hugs! ((liz4paws)) I'm so sorry you have all of this going on right now. Hoping the tests all turn out good and that natural IUI is your miracle!

Thanks so much. You're in Austin? Me too! I live in Pflugerville, and work in Northwest Austin. Nice to see a "neighbor" around here.

pinkmickey24 · November 2011

I am so sorry about everything and wanted to let you know that if you ever want someone to talk to about losing a parent to cancer feel free to PM me. Last November I lost my father to stage 4 brain cancer and I know what it feels like to deal with the thoughts of them never seeing their grandchild. Please know that I am thinking about you and sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way.

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