January 2011 Moms

am I being overly sensitive?

My BIL's girlfriend just sent the most horrible letter to my MIL. She called her all sorts of names, and even though MIL and I are not very close I could not believe the things BIL's gf said to her.

Now my nephew, who is turning 3 this weekend and is BIL's child from a previous relationship, is in the middle of this whole mess.

I just got a text from the gf and she is having a "family" party at her parents house for him. My DH, myself or our girls are not invited. My MIL is not invited. In fact NONE of my BIL's side of the family is invited. I am sad.. I feel like she is trying to cut out all of the family and replace it with hers. Why would she tell me she is having a party then not invite us? Her and I are on good terms to say the least so I guess I am confused.

I want to ask her what her problem is, but first I wanted to see if I have any right to be upset that we are not included in celebrating with him.

Thoughts?

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Re: am I being overly sensitive?

  • I would probably be hurt too. I mean if someone tells you they are having a party but you aren't invited...well that is just rude...

    I'm just curious though, why would you want to go to a party that she is throwing if she is causing drama in your family? I know you love your nephew..but is it worth dealing with her? Is your side of the family throwing him a separate party that you can go to? Maybe your DH can talk to his brother about having a party for your nephew at their mom's as well? I don't know..just thinking of alternatives..

     

     


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  • Thats the problem. Even though she is causing all this drama, she is decent to me and DH.

    Also, my BIL only gets him on the weekend, so one party at her family's house. BIL is NOT on good terms with babymomma thanks to the current girlfriend. So we will not be attending any party that the mom has if she even has one.

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  • Oh no..that sucks..

    Hmmm..how close are you? Did she say why you weren't invited? If I knew her well enough I might say something like..can we stop by real quick and give ___ a kiss and a present? 


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  • She sent you a text to say that she's throwing a party and you, being "not family" aren't invited?

    You aren't overreacting, BUT she's clearly baiting you.  Don't reply.  Anything you say, from 'that's nice' to 'eff you in the butthole' is going to be used as ammo to show BIL what a horrible person you are and just how toootally right she was to not include your badly behaving family.  Or else, she wants you to beg to be included.  F*ck that noise.  If she gets uppity about how you didn't reply, you can lie and say you didn't get the text because your phone was on the fritz or whatever.

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  • Also, make sure you mail your niece a card at the bare minimum.
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  • so she, who is not related to the child, considers the family party to be her family only?  Weird.  I would flat out ask her if you were invited just to hear her response.  If she said no, then ask her why she felt the need to even tell you about it then.  As for her rude letter to your MIL, what's her issue?  Did the girlfriend tell you she wrote it or did you hear about it from MIL?  Either way, stay out of that one.   
  • I would like to use broccoli's words and say to tell her "eff you in the butthole." 
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  • I don't think you're being overly sensitive at all! I'd be incredibly hurt. Don't let yourself, DH & kids be pushed out of your nephew's life though. I'd let BIL know your feelings are hurt, and that you still want to send a gift or have him over to your place to open it so he can play with your kids too. Maybe this gf won't last (fingers crossed) but while she's around it sounds like you are doing the best you can to not cross her, which seems wise given her ridiculous actions.
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  • I would be totally hurt too. What's her effing problem?

    If your BIL gets his son the whole weekend - maybe you can ask if the night before/after he can bring your nephew by for a small cake with your H's side of the family. Or rather, do it at your MIL's so then the GF won't go! 

    I hope he doesn't marry this biotch. 

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