mil comment to son with mfi

lincoln79 · November 2011

so we scheduled the iui yesterday (due to mfi post-cancer) for my next ovulation which should be around dec.9 or 10

unfortunately we had invited our in-laws from oot the same weekend. when my husband called his mother to explain the situation, she asked what iui was

he explained we would have to drive an hour to our clinic, he would have to give a sample, and i would be inseminated.

her comment? "well, then i think you should go home right after and make love so you can feel like you did it all on your own."

really? too bad we didn't think of trying it on our own for 13 failed cycles...we wish we weren't in this position, but with his history of testicular cancer we all knew this was a real possibility. ugh....i just needed to vent before i see her for our holiday on sat.

sekura · November 2011

I'm sure she meant well; she just doesn't understand the emotional toll of this process. I keep having people say insensitive things to me, and before I open my mouth and yell at them, I have to remind myself "they mean well, really...".

Ms H13 · November 2011

Are you going to address her comment when you see them? She may not realize how insensitive that is. Having said that, DH and I usually do do the deed after an IUI so it's not all sterile and impersonal - helps us feel a little more connected to each other during the process.

eponine7682 · November 2011

No one truly understands unless that have gone through it. It sucks, and I am sorry you have to hear that.

TJ1979 · November 2011

Ms H13:
Are you going to address her comment when you see them? She may not realize how insensitive that is. Having said that, DH and I usually do do the deed after an IUI so it's not all sterile and impersonal - helps us feel a little more connected to each other during the process.

Me too. The whole thing is so clinical, and unromantic.

I'm sorry that you had to hear that though.

katib77 · November 2011

Sorry she doesn't understand how hurtful it can be to say something like that. I know our RE recommends sex the night after the IUI, but the first time I just couldn't do it. I felt too crampy and thought why bother? While on a table with a nurse might not be "romantic" for making a baby to me the important part is not how it happens - but that it happens at all. A lifetime of love for my child will not require 15 minutes of sex from my husband LOL. We have sex for ourselves for fun, thank you very much. To me, THAT is what sex should be about - our love for eachother. And I don't need my MIL involving herself in my sexlife with her son.

vxs0038 · November 2011

How insenstive. I'm sorry

khrissy91 · November 2011

I so sorry that she was rude an insensitive. I wish you and your hubby the best and hope your IUI is successful

Good luck!!!

BabyDreams711 · November 2011

I'm so sorry the people you love are so darn insensitive sometimes! Good luck with the holidays!!

SMF&ADS091507 · November 2011

I'm sorry that you received that comment. That would be something my MIL would say if she knew about our TTTC. (((hugs))) to you and your DH.

lincoln79 · November 2011

i appreciate the support. it is good to know that others CHOSE to after an iui...i was a bit afraid we would be prohibited.

we had a tough time at first when we realized it wouldn't happen in our home but in a clinic, but the more we thought about it the more we realized that no one likes to reflect on how they are conceived, so our future children will likely care less...it is more important to HAVE future children...

i love my MIL, but sometimes....thanks for letting me vent.

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