Intro
craxyrae
member
I'm a FTM to an awesome son Parker that I love more than anyone in the world! His laughter is probably the best medicine for me, but when he isn't happy, it can feel like my world is falling apart.
I just saw a psychiatrist last week about my PPD. I think I knew from the beginning that I didn't feel right, but thought it was just baby blues...it lasted too long to be baby blues though. I felt better for a while, but around 2.5 months PP, I started feeling very low. I would cry repeatedly throughout the day, felt like I was a bad mom, felt VERY lonely. I would make plans for play dates with some new moms that I met, but would come up with excuses not to go because I felt anxious and sad.
When discussing my options, the doctor told me that I would have to give up breastfeeding if I wanted to go on medication. Breastfeeding has been working well for us, and I would like to do it for as long as possible, so I have declined the medication for now. I know a number of people who have been on anti depressants or anti anxiety medication and it took several attempts to find the right medication and sometimes they never really felt better with medication, so I don't want to give up BF if the medication won't make me feel better. I don't think that my PPD is very severe and I do have good days, so I am hoping that I made the right decision. Has anyone else been able to improve without medication?
I am trying to stay busy per the suggestion of my doctor and get out each day, but it really is harder than it should be some days! I also find that I do feel better when I am busy, but I start to let my mind run away from me when I have down time.
Does anyone have any advice about talking about PPD with friends & family? I have talked to 2 friends about it and they were both very supportive, but I knew they would be as they both have depression and anxiety issues of their own. I fear telling my mother. She is the kind of person that internalizes other people's problems and will end up on anti depressants and sleeping pills to cope with my problem which will just make me feel worse (I know because she did this when my brother was going through some problems a few years ago). She also is holding onto guilt from over 30 years ago when her cousin committed suicide due to PPD and she didn't realize that her cousin had a problem and feels guilty for not being able to prevent it. I would love to talk to my mom about this because I feel like I'm hiding it and lying about it, but I just don't know if it is worth it.
I sometimes feel like my friends from before DS have forgotten me as they don't reach out to me, and I think I refrain from reaching out to them because I fear being rejected which would just make me feel worse. Any advice about talking about my PPD would be greatly appreciated!
Re: Intro
Hey craxyrae, I just responded to ababymaybe below ( Breastfeeding vs formula feeding) about quitting BF w/out meds working. There are actually many drugs out there that are safe to use while BFing. Check with your local LLL/LC, they should have that huuuuge book of what is safe and what isn't.
When I started talking to my husband and my mom, I made them look at this list on postpartumprogress.com. I told them which simptoms I was experiencing and which I wasn't. I told them that rationally I knew that I was a good mom and that we were doing a good job, but emotionally that didn't make a difference and I was a mess and needed help. I tried to stay calm through the discussion (and having them read a highlighted list instead of me having to say the words out loud helped). I think that put them at ease, since it is sort of hard to know what to do when faced with a sad sad crying woman.
), I'd tell her, but be very calm, emphasizing that you are getting help from a doctor because you wanted to seek treatment very early before the PPD escalated. Hopefully that will help assuage her worry/anxiety. She might be upset that she didn't recognize it in you, just like she didn't in her cousin - so it might be worth stating that you didn't have many external signs (if it's true, and if it's not, consider this white lie to keep her as a possitive support instead of become a drain on your support).
It sounds like you are going to have a harder problem with your mom. since you asked for advice (
It's kinda aweful that there is still a stigma to PPD and we fear rejection, but until that gets better, i think 'fake it till you make it' would work when initially telling friends/family. Just do it when you are emotionally calm, state the facts and see how they respond. If it's positive, you know you can go back to them for support. If not, well, you tried and you can still love them. Not everyone is going to understand, but maybe knowing your issue and seeing how you live with it (hopefully in a successful way!), will change their mind. My dad fits into that category.