do newborns have bedtimes ?

rkto · November 2011

I posted about a period of waking that the baby has between 10-2am where she wont settle. People suggested we put her to bed earlier.

We put her to bed all day - she has no bedtime. She falls asleep in our arms and then we put her in the bassinet. She seems to have a 4 hr stretch from 1-5am (ish) and then a 3 hour stretch.

During the day, she sleeps for 1-2 hours depending on whether she wakes herself up with a wet diaper.

People said to put her to bed earlier. I dont really get that. She never "goes to bed" or she ALWAYS "goes to bed" no matter what she is going to wake up to diaper change and/or feed.

cantalopes24 · November 2011

Yeah I don't get this either.

rkto · November 2011

okay = thanks!

I thought I was a bad FTM

right now, we are sitting in the dark so she stays asleep or calm longer. but then I am afraid it might backfire and she wont do her 4 hour stretch when I am actually sleeping.

trial and error. and every day is a new day! you never know what baby will do.

kagl04 · November 2011

crystalbaby:
cantalopes24:
Yeah I don't get this either.
Neither do I. They're newborns, they don't have schedules.

All of this. My DD didn't have a bedtime until she was able to stay awake for longer periods and had set naptimes (around 4-5 months I think). Even then her "bedtime" changed constantly until around 8-9 months. Just now at 15 months we finally have her with a set bedtime.

My DS goes to sleep on us and we go upstairs when we are good and ready. The only thing consistent is we try to have him have a bottle around 9/9:30 just to top him off. Otherwise it all up in the air. He "naps" when he wants and goes to "bed" after his 9pm bottle...

tiffanytherese · November 2011

My baby has the same schedule! Good luck!

thetheisens · November 2011

Myabe they meant that she was getting over tired and need to be put sleep before that point? I had the same problem with my ds being fussy from 10 to 2 am, but that's because he was awake for wwwwaaaayyyy to long and getting so over tired and stimulated that I couldn't get him to go to sleep for anything. My ds is 6 weeks now and this past week we have been able to get more of a routine (not a schedule) down. He wakes up I nurse him for about 45 minutes and then he's awake for 30 to 45 min longer then I rock him or pat his back until he's sleeping and put him in is crib where he sleeps 1 1/2 to 2 hrs, then start over. It's hard though when you just can't get them to settle before they get over tired and then won't sleep.

Runnergirl2242 · November 2011

I dont really have any idea how they do it. My baby is on his own scedule right now. I have an older child who is now 12 and he eventually had a bedtime but not at first. I am not sure how this is possible.

tiffanytherese · November 2011

If anyone was confused, I was just trying to say that I'm in the same boat. I was interested in reading the HELPFUL responses. I do wish the OP luck and I need some myself in this area.I was short on time when I posted the first time and I didn't think I was going to be attacked for being interested. Sorry for the confusion.

[Deleted User] · November 2011

Yeah I really don't understand the phrase "to bed for the night" right now.

(Also, am I really expected to have "storytime" with my 3 week old? Am I doing this wrong?)

thetheisens · November 2011

thetheisens:

Myabe they meant that she was getting over tired and need to be put sleep before that point? I had the same problem with my ds being fussy from 10 to 2 am, but that's because he was awake for wwwwaaaayyyy to long and getting so over tired and stimulated that I couldn't get him to go to sleep for anything. My ds is 6 weeks now and this past week we have been able to get more of a routine (not a schedule) down. He wakes up I nurse him for about 45 minutes and then he's awake for 30 to 45 min longer then I rock him or pat his back until he's sleeping and put him in is crib where he sleeps 1 1/2 to 2 hrs, then start over. It's hard though when you just can't get them to settle before they get over tired and then won't sleep.

Thought I should add that is what I do during the day. At night I nurse him when he wakes up and then put him back to sleep and he usually does 3 to 4 hrs stretches. He goes right back to sleep since we've started this, where as before he would fight me at night after his feedings to go back down.

kagl04 · November 2011

overture:
(Also, am I really expected to have "storytime" with my 3 week old? Am I doing this wrong?)

I never had storytime with my DD at this age. We started it at around 4-5 months when naptimes became consistent. She's none the wiser. DS doesn't get storytime and we are lucky if he even sleeps, let alone has a "bedtime!"

OUKap · November 2011

bedtime for us is when she is put into the swaddle sleep sack and nurses. at some point she started to associate that with bedtime. there is no time for it, but she won't go down before 830.

blu-eyedwife · November 2011

I have a feeling you're referring to my advice and while babies don't have schedule, you can definitely start a routine with them that they can respond to.

Thetheisens is right - I'm suggesting that at 10pm your baby is overtired and in the middle of her fussiest period. Which is what was going on with us. When we do our routine he's never up at 10, so he doesn't get fussy at night. We do things that we know are calming with him for his last few hours of "awake" time, and then he goes down for his longest stretch of the evening which has him sleeping through his fussiest time period.

As I said, when we start this routine depends on when he wakes up between 5 and 6. Right now, he tends to awaken when DH gets home from work at 6pm. But at 3 weeks it might have been 5, it might have been 6:30. Whenever it was, I'd feed him. Usually after feeding him he's pretty mellow. And then he gets a bath. Which he loves and also has a nice calming effect. Then he gets dressed and swaddled so he's warm and cozy. If he's hungry at this point, DH gives him a bottle. And then he does story time.

Yup, story time. I don't really see why that's so ridiculous. Most of us were talking to our babies, playing them music and/or reading to them in the womb. Now they're out...so you sit in silence with them? Story time is really no different than running narrative or talking or singing to your child, and I'd be willing to bet most of you do that also. DH sits in the glider in the nursery with our swaddled little baby, rocking him and reading him a story - just like we did every night when I was pregnant.

By the end of the story if LBB is asleep he goes into the crib and does his 5 hour stretch - sleeping through his 10pm fussy spell. If not, DH rocks with him and cuddles till he falls asleep and then he goes in the crib and does his 5 hour stretch. When he wakes up 5 hours later, he's in night mode so he eats and goes right back to sleep. No fussiness at night.

So I was just suggesting what works for us. What's even better is this whole routine is taken care of by DH. And he loves having special time with the baby since he's at work all day.

ludicrous · November 2011

Well apparently I'm the only dumb ass that has a newborn with a bedtime. His bedtime is a 7, like his sister. He gets a bath, massage, goes in his woombie, eats and goes to his crib for the night. The difference between night time and day time sleeping is 1) it's dark (duh) but in all serious, I do not turn on lights at night 2) there is no longer awake time after eating, he eats and goes straight back in the crib 3) it is quiet, no talking or further waking the baby, just in and out.

mabst196 · November 2011

They start to have noticeable patterns eventually. Since about 4 weeks old DS sleeps from about 10 pm-2am and then until 5:30 am but I don't force it on him.

alison2379 · November 2011

Right around the time we started doing evening bath at 5 weeks, C started doing her longest stretch shortly after, around 8 or 9 to midnight or 1. So, I now count that as bedtime but it's more to make me feel better that we have an "end" of the day.

cantalopes24 · November 2011

ludicrous:
Well apparently I'm the only dumb ass that has a newborn with a bedtime. His bedtime is a 7, like his sister. He gets a bath, massage, goes in his woombie, eats and goes to his crib for the night. The difference between night time and day time sleeping is 1) it's dark (duh) but in all serious, I do not turn on lights at night 2) there is no longer awake time after eating, he eats and goes straight back in the crib 3) it is quiet, no talking or further waking the baby, just in and out.

Is he always awake at 7 or do you wake him up to put him to sleep. Our schedule varies so much baby girl isn't always awake at exactly the same time because when she wakes up in the morning for the day depends on when her noisy azz brother wakes up and can change her nappimg pattern by an hour or so. I think there's a huge difference between "My kid is always up around 6 and we have a bedtime routine and he goes in his crib around 7" and "I wake my newborn up at 530 to give them a bath and put him to bed". We do the dark thing and the n talking thing at night (after 9 is "night", we just picked that based on her general night time habits).

jonnygurl76 · November 2011

ludicrous:
Well apparently I'm the only dumb ass that has a newborn with a bedtime. His bedtime is a 7, like his sister. He gets a bath, massage, goes in his woombie, eats and goes to his crib for the night. The difference between night time and day time sleeping is 1) it's dark (duh) but in all serious, I do not turn on lights at night 2) there is no longer awake time after eating, he eats and goes straight back in the crib 3) it is quiet, no talking or further waking the baby, just in and out.

Nope then I am a dumb ass too! Right now DS has a bedtime between 8-9pm and we are trying to get it earlier to 7pm along with DD. He cluster feeds until this time and then finally falls asleep and he goes in his crib with lights off, sound machine on and he gives us his longest stretch of sleep. I am posting from my phone right now-it is 4:30am here, he just gave us his longest stretch yet from 9-4am. He should give us another 2-3 hour stretch and then be up for his am awake time. So yes, he has a bedtime.

Observe your LO's sleep/wake times-they usually have 1 long stretch of sleep in a 24 hr period-you want to get it to be at night.

ludicrous · November 2011

cantalopes24:
ludicrous:
Well apparently I'm the only dumb ass that has a newborn with a bedtime. His bedtime is a 7, like his sister. He gets a bath, massage, goes in his woombie, eats and goes to his crib for the night. The difference between night time and day time sleeping is 1) it's dark (duh) but in all serious, I do not turn on lights at night 2) there is no longer awake time after eating, he eats and goes straight back in the crib 3) it is quiet, no talking or further waking the baby, just in and out.
Is he always awake at 7 or do you wake him up to put him to sleep. Our schedule varies so much baby girl isn't always awake at exactly the same time because when she wakes up in the morning for the day depends on when her noisy azz brother wakes up and can change her nappimg pattern by an hour or so. I think there's a huge difference between "My kid is always up around 6 and we have a bedtime routine and he goes in his crib around 7" and "I wake my newborn up at 530 to give them a bath and put him to bed". We do the dark thing and the n talking thing at night (after 9 is "night", we just picked that based on her general night time habits).

He's always awake at 7. We started bedtime a few weeks ago with him (early than DD) because he is always awake at this time. I feed him at 5, then set him down so I can get DDs dinner around 5:30. Then we all go upstairs (their rooms are adjoined by a bathroom so we have family getting ready for bed) and they get baths, DD brushes her teeth, story time (DD loves to sit next to him on the floor while we read books, it's kind of hilarious like she thinks he is as into it as she is), then DS gets swaddled and nurses while DD either plays or sometimes she will sit in the glider with us, then everyone goes to bed. Same routine every night for weeks now.

dlast09 · November 2011

I have to keep DS awake for 8pm meds. So around 7, he BF's, we do diaper change, etc. He has to be completely awake for his meds, so I have to keep him up. Which I feel horrible for, because I have always heard to let a newborn sleep, don't keep them awake on purpose. But we gotta do what we gotta do. So normally we start settling down around 8. I guess it could be considered a bedtime. But often he isn't 'down for the night' until 9 or 10. But it works. There is no forced schedule. Its just kinda how its been working for us.

cantalopes24 · November 2011

thelastingers:
I have to keep DS awake for 8pm meds. So around 7, he BF's, we do diaper change, etc. He has to be completely awake for his meds, so I have to keep him up. Which I feel horrible for, because I have always heard to let a newborn sleep, don't keep them awake on purpose. But we gotta do what we gotta do. So normally we start settling down around 8. I guess it could be considered a bedtime. But often he isn't 'down for the night' until 9 or 10. But it works. There is no forced schedule. Its just kinda how its been working for us.

Ohhh sweetheart don't feel guilty! Love you!

FabulousMrs.P · November 2011

We had the same issue. We corrected it by waking her in 3-4 hour intervals (feed her, play with her if she is awake enough, put her back down) during the day and giving her a bath at around 8pm. She hates a bath so she really screams her head off and wears herself out. By doing that I now have a 10pm feeding and a 3am feeding and she goes right back to sleep after each of them.

Don't know if it would work for you as said she is awake a lot during the day, but that is what got our girl's days and nights straightened out.

karinothing · November 2011

I am glad you asked this. I was a little confused as well. I guess we have a set bedtime around 8pm because that is when we turn off the lights (he refuses to sleep anywhere but my arms for now, so it is kind of my bedtime as well). But we don't really have a set bedtime routine yet.I think it might be a bit easier to establish one if he would go to sleep without needing to be held. But we are working on that!

The book i was reading (just the AAP book) said to typically start a bedrtime routine around 6 weeks so I wasn't too worried that I didn't have one yet (until I started reading post on here).

I actually have a stupid question about bedtime routine. Everyone says to give the baby a bath before bed, which I understand because it is relaxing. BUT then I read stuff that says to not bathe the baby every day because of dry skin....so if you use a bath as part of a bedtime routine do you do it every day or every other day or what?

dlast09 · November 2011

cantalopes24:
thelastingers:
I have to keep DS awake for 8pm meds. So around 7, he BF's, we do diaper change, etc. He has to be completely awake for his meds, so I have to keep him up. Which I feel horrible for, because I have always heard to let a newborn sleep, don't keep them awake on purpose. But we gotta do what we gotta do. So normally we start settling down around 8. I guess it could be considered a bedtime. But often he isn't 'down for the night' until 9 or 10. But it works. There is no forced schedule. Its just kinda how its been working for us.
Ohhh sweetheart don't feel guilty! Love you!

Thank you ;] Lurveeee you!

cantalopes24 · November 2011

ludicrous:

He's always awake at 7. We started bedtime a few weeks ago with him (early than DD) because he is always awake at this time. I feed him at 5, then set him down so I can get DDs dinner around 5:30. Then we all go upstairs (their rooms are adjoined by a bathroom so we have family getting ready for bed) and they get baths, DD brushes her teeth, story time (DD loves to sit next to him on the floor while we read books, it's kind of hilarious like she thinks he is as into it as she is), then DS gets swaddled and nurses while DD either plays or sometimes she will sit in the glider with us, then everyone goes to bed. Same routine every night for week now.

Cute! E isn't into story time but he loves showing her all of his favorite toys and telling her about them. He's convinced she understands everything he says and he is trying to teach her to talk and be able to hold his Thomas trains. He "taught" her how to smile a week or so ago lol.

jonnygurl76 · November 2011

karinothing:

I am glad you asked this. I was a little confused as well. I guess we have a set bedtime around 8pm because that is when we turn off the lights (he refuses to sleep anywhere but my arms for now, so it is kind of my bedtime as well). But we don't really have a set bedtime routine yet.I think it might be a bit easier to establish one if he would go to sleep without needing to be held. But we are working on that!

The book i was reading (just the AAP book) said to typically start a bedrtime routine around 6 weeks so I wasn't too worried that I didn't have one yet (until I started reading post on here).

I actually have a stupid question about bedtime routine. Everyone says to give the baby a bath before bed, which I understand because it is relaxing. BUT then I read stuff that says to not bathe the baby every day because of dry skin....so if you use a bath as part of a bedtime routine do you do it every day or every other day or what?

we do bath every other night and on the off night it is just quiet time/reading with DD and the she gets put to bed. it isn't so much the actual bath for us that makes them sleep--it is the tone/mood/indicators that it is bedtime.

nic326 · November 2011

jonnygurl76:

ludicrous:
Well apparently I'm the only dumb ass that has a newborn with a bedtime. His bedtime is a 7, like his sister. He gets a bath, massage, goes in his woombie, eats and goes to his crib for the night. The difference between night time and day time sleeping is 1) it's dark (duh) but in all serious, I do not turn on lights at night 2) there is no longer awake time after eating, he eats and goes straight back in the crib 3) it is quiet, no talking or further waking the baby, just in and out.

Nope then I am a dumb ass too! Right now DS has a bedtime between 8-9pm and we are trying to get it earlier to 7pm along with DD. He cluster feeds until this time and then finally falls asleep and he goes in his crib with lights off, sound machine on and he gives us his longest stretch of sleep. I am posting from my phone right now-it is 4:30am here, he just gave us his longest stretch yet from 9-4am. He should give us another 2-3 hour stretch and then be up for his am awake time. So yes, he has a bedtime.

Observe your LO's sleep/wake times-they usually have 1 long stretch of sleep in a 24 hr period-you want to get it to be at night.

Lol, then add me to this club. DS 2 has a fairly clear sleep pattern during the day and goes "to bed" when DS 1 goes to bed at 8pm. This means he gets a bath (if its bath night), gets swaddled, gets another bottle or feeding and is put in his bed in a darkened room with the noise maker. This isnt much different than the bedtime DS 1 had when he was that young too and keeping this consistancy sure paid off for me

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