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LGBT Parenting
summerbeck08
member
a couple questions
summerbeck08
member
My partner and I are TTC. We did at home insemination twice while i was ovulating this past cycle, our donor is a good friend of ours who is dedicated to keep doing it until we do conceive. I was just wondering how many other couples tried the whole "turkey baster method" and how long did it take to actually conceive. Im waiting right now to see if i miss a period which is supposed to happen on the 20th. Im hoping it happens pretty fast but i want to see if it has happen fast for anyone on here or how long it takes. Another question is if im carrying the baby how can i make it legal that partner gets rights to the baby and will she be able to sign the birth certificate with me. any help would be great.
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Re: a couple questions
You know, these are the types of things you should really figure out prior to bringing another human into this world. The short answer - it depends on your state. Your partner might not be allowed any legal rights and she might or might not be allowed to have her name on the birth certificate.
In MN where we live, we have to hire an attorney, and go to court. In the end, we will be issued a new birth certificate for both babies with both my partner's and my name on it. The cost for us to do this is $1,600 which includes attorney's fee's, filing fee's, etc. Other states are different, some you can just sign the birth certificate, some you have to go to court, and some you can't do it at all... you will have to look at your states laws. In addition to this, my partner and I each have a will and health care directive.
As for home inseminations, I have no advice for you on that, except that fresh sperm is usually better than frozen (which we have used). We did 10 (or so) IUI cycles in the clinic (2 insems per cycle) without success. We conceived with IVF. Have you discussed custody of the child with your known donor? This may be something you want to discuss with a lawyer ASAP.
Hope this helps, and GL.
We used the "turkey baster" method. It took 3 months (inseminating 2 or 3 times each month). The only other family I know who used this method also took three months. Of course, every single person is different!!
For us, we realized we relied too much on ovulation tests, without understanding our own cycles and looking for the signs in my wife's body, for the first month. Using the ovulation tests in conjunction with looking for signs on our own helped us feel more confident in the timing of insemination in our 2nd and 3rd months. I highly recommend the book, "Taking Charge of your Fertility" when inseminating at home, since you don't have the high tech tools that a clinic would have:)
The above poster is right that every state handles the laws around second parent adoption different, but I can't stress enough how essential it is to get a lawyer and have documents drawn up that protect both you and the donor. There are good family lawyers who have GLBT experience. As just one example, in our state, if something happens to the birth mother in childbirth, the donor will become legally responsible for the child at birth, unless there are specific directives written up. You want to protect him and yourself from something traumatic like that!
Many many best wishes for a short TTC process!
Thanks for the help. My state does do second parent adoption i had already checked into that i just didnt know how the process worked or how long it would take or when to start the process. and as for the donor theres already paperwork saying he has no rights to the baby.
We're in the middle of second parent adoption, and even with an anon. donor, our RE had to sign a statement saying it was donor sperm with no rights. You need to talk to an attorney. We had a lot of the paperwork ready before the babies came, and should finalize around the new year.
As for the birth certificate, that depends on your state. My DW told the records lady at the hospital I was the other parent. No issue at all.