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I know I'm just being a b*tch BUT...

MickeyM04MickeyM04 member
in Pregnant after a Loss

I am so sick of all the posts on my BMB from women who have found out they are having a boy and are openly disappointed about it, or who are posting that they really, really, REALLY want a girl, and would honestly be disappointed if it was a boy.  SERIOUSLY? 

I know moms who have suffered a loss are so much more sensitive to posts like that, because literally, the one thing we care about is giving birth to a healthy LO.  That's it.  But honestly, I cannot imagine finding out the sex and being disappointed.  I mean how does that work where you see your healthy LO on u/s  and see the heart beating away and the doctor tells you it's a boy and your reaction is to feel disappointed?  It literally just makes me cringe.  Vent over.  Sorry, I'm in a mood...Stick out tongue

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BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
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Re: I know I'm just being a b*tch BUT...

  • shealy12shealy12
    Totally agree!!!!  I try to stay away from posts like that because I know if I respond, I'll come off a total b*tch. 
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  • ECHC829ECHC829

    I never understood the people who were really disappointed.  I do understand  when you think/ or have a feeling its one sex and then find out the other and then are just shocked and unprepared since you thought and "bonded" with a HE or SHE up to that point, but quickly get over it.  I also understand if you just generally always wanted a girl or a boy and its a surprised bc having the opposite isn't something you "dreamed" about it in the way of when you plan out the "when I'm a mom... and take my son to soccer, or bake cupcakes with my daughter, or fill in whatever "gender" related activity here"....

    However, when people are actually upset... that I never understood.  And now that I am PGAL and I could careless if its a boy or girl and just healthy (esp now since I'm freaked about my ratios)... those posts really irk me.  I've avoided the BMB from the beginning bc I couldn't handle the things people post about....


    BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
    FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
    IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
    BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
    Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin
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  • MissAutumnMissAutumn
    Thats why I dont venture away from this board. Keeps me stress free :)
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  • the struggle and hustlethe struggle and hustle
    I completely agree. 
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  • opalloveropallover

    At this point I totally understand you ~

    BUT...

    With Noah I was ESTATIC knowing he was a boy. I guess I would have been happy if he were a girl too but I was totally frightened to raise a girl - seeing as my own mother is craptastic and horrid as a role model and I don't know how to foster a daughter/mother relationship. [think of all the horrid things a birth mother could do to a child and you have it.]

    BUT...

    Now that I'm having a girl I'm having so much fun thinking about how we can do things together and build a close friendship.

    Really had nothing to do with wanting to buy clothes or decorate a room it had everything to do with not knowing how to do the mom/daughter thing. I thought it would be "easier" to raise a boy. Either way though I would have been happy with a healthy little baby.

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  • LDW80LDW80
    imageECHC829:

    I never understood the people who were really disappointed.  I do understand  when you think/ or have a feeling its one sex and then find out the other and then are just shocked and unprepared since you thought and "bonded" with a HE or SHE up to that point, but quickly get over it.  I also understand if you just generally always wanted a girl or a boy and its a surprised bc having the opposite isn't something you "dreamed" about it in the way of when you plan out the "when I'm a mom... and take my son to soccer, or bake cupcakes with my daughter, or fill in whatever "gender" related activity here"....

    However, when people are actually upset... that I never understood.  And now that I am PGAL and I could careless if its a boy or girl and just healthy (esp now since I'm freaked about my ratios)... those posts really irk me.  I've avoided the BMB from the beginning bc I couldn't handle the things people post about....

    All of this was me the other day.  I really really thought we were having a boy and I bet the ultrasound tech thought I was disappointed when she said girl because I just layed there with no emotion and said "girl?"  but I wasn't disappointed or mad but more so completely shocked.  It took a little bit to realize there was a girl in my tummy and not a boy like I thought.  But I am truly excited and  blessed for this little miracle!

     

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  • october_artistoctober_artist member
    Being on the same BMB as you are Peanut, I totally know what you are talking about recently -- I just stopped looking because it makes my stomach hurt.  I feel you on this 100%.
    ? J + J = 5/29/10.?
    TTC since 8/2010. Irregular cycles after stopping BCP.
    1st BFP! 3/26/11. Missed M/C - D&C 5/2/11.
    Always missed: Our little Blueberry. It's Never Over.
    2nd BFP! 9/3/11 on last unmedicated cycle! EDD: 5/11/12
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    ? Clementine Lorraine, we love you so much already! ?
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  • lauren.cuslauren.cus member
    imageLDW80:
    imageECHC829:

    I never understood the people who were really disappointed.  I do understand  when you think/ or have a feeling its one sex and then find out the other and then are just shocked and unprepared since you thought and "bonded" with a HE or SHE up to that point, but quickly get over it.  I also understand if you just generally always wanted a girl or a boy and its a surprised bc having the opposite isn't something you "dreamed" about it in the way of when you plan out the "when I'm a mom... and take my son to soccer, or bake cupcakes with my daughter, or fill in whatever "gender" related activity here"....

    However, when people are actually upset... that I never understood.  And now that I am PGAL and I could careless if its a boy or girl and just healthy (esp now since I'm freaked about my ratios)... those posts really irk me.  I've avoided the BMB from the beginning bc I couldn't handle the things people post about....

    All of this was me the other day.  I really really thought we were having a boy and I bet the ultrasound tech thought I was disappointed when she said girl because I just layed there with no emotion and said "girl?"  but I wasn't disappointed or mad but more so completely shocked.  It took a little bit to realize there was a girl in my tummy and not a boy like I thought.  But I am truly excited and  blessed for this little miracle!

     

    This was the exact same for me. I really just never even fathomed I would have a daughter. In my mind I'd already bonded with my "son" so when the dr told me was a girl my reaction was "really?...oh". I needed time to process. After I had a day to let it sink in I was in tears I was so estatic. Now I can't fathom my life with a son and all I want is to hold my daughter. So I have to agree, I just don't understand the gender dissapoinment. Shock? Yes. Sadness? Hell no!
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  • xoladiebugxoladiebug member
    There is a gal at my work that is pregnant and she has a son already and had two miscarriages before getting pregnant again.  She just found out last week that she's having a girl but she really wanted a boy because her husband doesn't want a girl.  I found all this out through a coworker.  The thing that pissed me off is this gal is always in my department, talking to this other gal who is having a difficult time getting pregnant.  I guess she was practically in tears about having a girl.  I just wanted to ring her neck for being so insensitive!
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  • katmacwvkatmacwv member
    Since no one on the June board can find out gender yet, that hasn't started on my BMB board yet.  I'm not sure I'll be able to hold my tongue (fingers) if women post that stuff though.  I don't care if I'm dreaming about dresses and have a boy or am dreaming about having a football player and have another girl.  As long as the baby is healthy, that is what counts.
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  • Eris-AlexisEris-Alexis
    Posts like that are the exact reason I don't hang out on the BMB anymore.  I think for those of us that are PGAL, the naivety of women who have never had a loss is sometimes incomprehensible to us. 
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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