Hi ladies. Here's the back story before I start venting:
DH was supposed to deploy. Then he was put on limited duty and was told he couldn't deploy because of his bad shoulder and was told his surgery is scheduled for Dec. 14th. (Which made me excited since he'd be around for the birth!) His battalion even switched him to a different company that would only deploy if back-up was needed. His unit recently went to their field op for the upcoming deployment. And today his chain of command told him that he'll most likely be sent to the field op and then deploy! He called me very upset since he doesn't feel like he could properly back-up his guys while overseas. He went from upset to PISSED explaining everything they told him. He even spoke of going UA to make sure he wouldn't go to the field op; but I started talking him out of that since it's stupid to run away from something. And now I'm really upset since I had already it set in my mind that I'd be able to see him throughout this pregnancy. I mean, he had the papers from his doctor and his therapist both stating that he couldn't do any regular duty!!
My question is: can his chain of commend go against his light duty orders and make him train for an upcoming deployment then deploy? Is there anything he can do to override what his chain of command is doing?
I'm a new military wife, and still getting the hang of what can and can't be done so I apologize in advance if my question/rant is ridiculous.
Re: Non baby related question
I would say that your husband needs to talk to his dr. again and get them to talk to his chain of command. They shouldn't be able to go against the dr.s orders. If his dr. doesn't want to get involved he can go the the Inspecting General who should be able to override them since he already has the orders for light duty. (This is according to MH, so I hope it helps).
Also, I'm going to give you a little advice that I wish I would have learned way earlier then I did. Learn to be disappointed sometimes. It's going to happen. I've learned to never count on anything until it actually happens. This includes deployments and any orders he's supposed to be getting. If you don't make plans, they can't be ruined.
Hope this helps!! Welcome to the military life!
CJ 05/29/2013
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Um this is completley wrong and if someone's commander is doing this they need to be reported because it could seriously hurt a Soldier.
And to the PP who suggested the OP call her H's commander, don't do that. This is an issue between him and your husband. Be there to support your husband, don't be that wife.
CJ 05/29/2013
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Katieboo you're wrong. I've got 7 years in. I've had shiity leaders and great leaders. It they are doing something that isn't right, it needs to be reported up the chain of command not handled by a wife. My husband and I are even in the same company and I never would call our commander or 1SG to tell them they were screwing him. I also have worked for the IG and we get calls from those commanders and often times we back them or tell them what they need to do to handle a situation when someone's spouse calls. We also have spouses call here and it's completely rude, and they often don't get the answer they want because we go based on fact and most things we'll only discuss with the service member.
ETA - And furthermore the fact that a senior NCO not only needs his wife to fight his battles but encourages the same behavior to his Soldiers is absolutley absurd and completely unprofessional.
CJ 05/29/2013
Do not contact your H's COC. I'm also prior service with 6 years under my belt. Anyone who has to have their wife or husband take care of their buisness does not deserve any rank above E-3. Like BLT said, that is absolutely absurd and unprofessional.
My 1SGT had an E-2's wife come to him biitching about an issue she had with our training schedule. You better believe that was written up in a couseling statement that will follow him for quite some time. You can also believe he won't be put into any position of leadership while he is in that unit.
OP, let your H handle it. I understand your H being upset about the situation, but running away is not the way to go. He needs to talk to his doctor. Then, he needs to go up his COC.
This is such BS. I'm not sure whether to laugh or roll my eyes. Are you seriously naive enough to think that just because a soldier has his wife go and make a stink that it can't hurt his career? Or that he can't be underhandedly penalized? Bullcrap. If the COC is crappy enough to punish a soldier for rightfully standing up for himself (in a situation that fairly requires that action) then he is crappy enough to treat a soldier differently when the wifey comes in. You are right, he will probably be polite to the wife to her face, but I'm sure he isn't thinking "wow, I now see the error of my ways now that so-and-so's wife has come in and put me in my place". Puh-lease.
A spouse going to the COC makes zero sense. Just like having my DH go to my boss in the civilian world makes zero sense. My job - my resposibility. I would be MORITIFED if my husband went to my boss to complain about what was happening to me. I don't need him bullying into their offices to "have my back"... that is MY job. He can support me in a zillion different ways, but to have a spouse go and put a superior in their place because they are somehow immune to backlash is entirely unprofessional.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens