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It's just getting worse

JenJarJenJar
in Upstate NY Babies
I had another party last night...an AMAZING party!  I left on such a high knowing that it was my best party this year to date.  Then I got home to a screaming baby, an upset little boy, and a very frustrated DH.  :(  Last night was the worst night so far...when I got here her little eyes were all red and puffy from crying so much.  G was upset because Daddy couldn't rock him (hence while he wasn't in bed yet) - every time he tried, R cried harder.  DH has been very supportive of my business, but told me last night I either need to take her with me or we need to switch cold turkey to bottles only so she gets used to it.  I feel so bad for him because I know he starts to feel like he's a horrible dad when she screams like this and he can't do anything to calm her.  I guess I'm going to have to step back from my parties again until she is taking solids and a cup and just hope I don't lose my leadership position. 
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Re: It's just getting worse

  • TinaL99TinaL99 member
    I am so so sorry you are dealing with this.  I know how frustrating it is (not to this degree, but somewhat).  I hope you can get things figured out and find what works best for you and your family.  I'm sorry...
    DD1: 3/31/10 DD2: 9/7/11
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  • goosh24goosh24
    Oh Jen, I'm sorry that this is such a problem for you! I know it wouldn't be a great situation but is there any way for your DH to bring R to a party and you step out quickly and feed her, in the car or somewhere outside of the party? Certainly not ideal, but giving up what you worked so hard for would be really tough. I'm sure G's reaction last night didn't help your DH's feelings either :(
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  • TinyPinkBugTinyPinkBug member
    What type of hostesses usually do the parties?  Could you do fewer parties and wear her to the few parties you do?  I know I would feel proud for anyone wore their 3 month old to my house to do a party, but it completely depends on your hostesses.
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  • JenJarJenJar

    Thank you, ladies.  

    imageTinyPinkBug:
    What type of hostesses usually do the parties?  Could you do fewer parties and wear her to the few parties you do?  I know I would feel proud for anyone wore their 3 month old to my house to do a party, but it completely depends on your hostesses.

    I have taken her in the past, and I will have to take her with me to the two I have scheduled at the beginning of December as well.  You're right...it totally depends on the hostess.  Last night's party was for someone that I had never met.  She was referred to me, and even when I dropped off her supplies, she wasn't home.  So I didn't know her or any of her 17 guests, and I felt very unprofessional to ask if I could bring her along, too. 

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  • JenJarJenJar

    imageTinyPinkBug:
    What type of hostesses usually do the parties?  Could you do fewer parties and wear her to the few parties you do?  I know I would feel proud for anyone wore their 3 month old to my house to do a party, but it completely depends on your hostesses.

    And thanks for that comment.  It definitely helps to hear that not everyone would find it unprofessional if I had to bring her along.  

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  • TelycoTelyco
    Oh hell no I wouldn't worry about professionalism at all. Just let them know up front that you are attached to the baby right now and I really don't see people having a problem with that. I would think that is awesome. Although some women may not like kids there if this is there one night away from their own I suppose. But I'm not like that so there must be more people like me out there :) But it's not fair to your family if it causes this much grief ...so I would scale back if you are getting negative feedback. And if you lose a leadership position, then you'll just get it back next year.
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  • Irisheyes1247Irisheyes1247 member

    imageTelyco:
    Oh hell no I wouldn't worry about professionalism at all. Just let them know up front that you are attached to the baby right now and I really don't see people having a problem with that. I would think that is awesome. Although some women may not like kids there if this is there one night away from their own I suppose. But I'm not like that so there must be more people like me out there :) But it's not fair to your family if it causes this much grief ...so I would scale back if you are getting negative feedback. And if you lose a leadership position, then you'll just get it back next year.

    I wouldn't worry about professionalism here, I would just explain that she won't take a bottle and leaving her home results in 3 hours spent screaming. I wouldn't want my kid who is walking and getting into everything, but a tiny baby who is pretty well contained is fine. As long as she will let you do what you need to do, then I would say you are good. If you find you are having trouble bringing her and need to scale back for a little bit, then I guess that is what you have to do but I think that most women who are having these parties have been in a similar situation at some point and will have a little understanding.

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  • MrsWhiteonWhiteStMrsWhiteonWhiteSt
    Oh yeah- I'd totally bring her. I'd assume 99% of your customers are women, a majority moms who would totally understand. It's not like she's a 4 yr old who would need to be supervised or kept busy. Plus she's so cute... I would love to see a baby at a party!
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  • mrsocmrsoc
    I am sure if the hostesses were Moms that they would totally understand :)
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  • MelissaSue81MelissaSue81 member

    I agree with the others about taking her with you if possible.. I really don't think you should step back from parties.. you've worked so hard to get to this point. 

    I am not minimizing the difficulty of the situation, but if you had a traditional 9-5 job, and she were in daycare, you wouldn't have the option of just not working because she won't take a bottle.. you know? So I don't think you should not do your parties. 

    Also, for some reason, the image of you bringing her to the party reminds me of when I hosted the TS party for the buffalo girls when Eve was 6 weeks old and she cried THE. ENTIRE. TIME. It was a nightmare. 

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    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
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  • jnk062602jnk062602
    imageMelissaSue81:

    I am not minimizing the difficulty of the situation, but if you had a traditional 9-5 job, and she were in daycare, you wouldn't have the option of just not working because she won't take a bottle.. you know? So I don't think you should not do your parties. 

    I agree with this too and from my experience with DH at home instead of daycare.  He had to just deal with it and some days were harder than others.  But I think the idea of having him just stop in for a quick nursing is ok. Or have a friend come and watch the baby in another room and you can just pop over to nurse her quick.  I also would not mind the person bringing their baby at all.

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