Luke's birth story (failed induction)

My pregnancy had been perfect, no morning sickness, little discomfort until the normal aches and pains towards the end.  My doctor began doing internal exams at 36 weeks which revealed that I was not dilated or effaced.  Each week I went for another exam and each week nothing changed.  My doctor kept encouraging me that I could still go into labor at any time.  I went for walks every night and DH has more sex those last few weeks than during the entire pregnancy.  At 40 weeks I began having non stress tests because there had still been no change and the NST revealed that I wasn't having any contractions.  The baby was perfect though!  The doctor started talking about induction at that point.  He told me that at 41 weeks they would induce if there had still been no changes and instructed me to come into his office every two days.  Well, needless to say it was a long week and I never dilated or contracted.  A week and one day past my due date, the office visit revealed no change and I was instructed to check into the hospital at 8pm that night (wednesday 10/12).  I went home and took a nice shower, ate dinner and packed my bags.  I had really grappled with the emotions of having an induction and feeling like I had failed some how and that my body let me down.  I had had these visions of my water breaking in the night and running off to the hospital and I was dissappointed in myself that it wasn't happening.  I checked into the hospital and was placed in a tiny triage room.  After all of the intake paperwork was done I was placed on an IV and fetal monitor.  I was given the first round of cervadil at 10pm.  The room was so small that DH couldn't stay overnight which sucked, but I had brought my laptop so I watched dvd's all night because I couldn't sleep.  Nothing happened overnight and in the morning when the cervadil was removed I had not dilated but my cervix softened slightly.  I was allowed to take a quick shower and eat a bagel and a banana before the next round of cervadil was given.  Fast forward to that night, there were no changes and a third round of cervadil was given, but since the doctor didn't come in until after midnight I was not allowed to eat again in case I needed a c-section in the morning.  I was given something to help me sleep that night which was great because I was so physically and emotionally exhausted.  Nothing changed by morning and the cervadil was removed around 12.  I waited several hours to see my doctor who then told me I could opt for a c-section or try pitocin, but I had about a 20% chance of a vaginally delivery.  Plus, a growth ultrasound estimated the baby's weight at 9lbs, 6oz and the doctor worried that even if the pitocin worked the baby's size would lead to a c-section.    At this point I was exhausted, starving and hadn't showered since the morning before, the thought of going through another night just to put off what seemed inevitable seemed foolish.  We agreed to have to c-section at 5pm that night (friday 10/14).  We were pushed back twice for emergencies and started prepping for surgery at 6:30pm  After sitting around for 2 days, everything started moving very quickly once we started prepping.  I was okay until I walked into the operating room and had to sit on the table.  I was so nervous.  I received the spinal and just concentrated on my breathing.  Once I was settled, they brought my husband in who kept me calm and helped me breathe.  The nurse talked me through everything and explained every push and pull, which was also helpful.  My beautiful son was born at 7:08pm at 9lbs, 7oz, 21 inches.  The doctor yelled out, "that's a big boy".  My husband was so excited because we were team green, but I knew he really wanted a boy.  He took a picture of him on the warming table and brought in to me so I could see him.  I took about 20 minutes for the doctors to finish working on me but after the baby was cleaned up the nurse brought him over to me and let me kiss him.  I was allowed to hold him as they wheeled me into recovery and breastfeed him pretty quickly.  I felt unexpectedly well following the surgery and didn't have any complications.  I was able to get up the next morning and walk around.  Despite my initial feelings regarding having an induction and a c-section, I was so excited to hold my baby, that it didn't matter any more how he got there, just that he was finally here and healthy.