- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Northern California Babies
Dragonfly_Bride
member
My CW (long)
Dragonfly_Bride
member
I'm dreading the days from Sunday on... because on Nov 20, the baby that we thought would be ours (via adoption) will be one year old, and we're not her parents. Each day is a different milestone... Nov 21, DHs birthday & the first time that he heard the words "you're a dad!" and meeting & taking care of sweet "Olivia"; Nov 22 things falling apart... Nov 23...leaving without her. And then Nov 24 - right into a new situation with an expectant mom who we lost a lot of emotions and time to, who never did anything she was supposed to with our agency and left us confused and annoyed and spent.
So, now, a year later here we are again. On October 17 I got a text from a woman considering adoption. She & I have been texting and talking for a month now. She has called our agency and has done a full intake with them. She has said that she wants us to be the parents of her baby. She says that she feels led by God and has prayed and prayed about it, and we're the ones. She has not sent in her pregnancy verification. This is huge. Actions are the only things that matter in this world. Someone can talk & text (over 500 texts during this month, not including mine back) all they want, but until there is action, it's meaningless. When an expectant mom doesn't send in the verification, it raises up so many red-flags for the agency. It completely disrupts any trust building up and makes everything tumultuous. So, I wait for something to happen, for things to get clearer, all the while being excited and guarded. Of course, there are other redflags & unknowns which make everything even more anxiety-filled for us, but those I'll go into some other time.
I haven't wanted to take all of you on this roller-coaster again, but I'm going crazy with all of this. Every week I've been hoping to say "we're matched!" and every week there is another delay. I don't where all this is going to lead, but maybe next week things will be clearer, one way or another.
Welcome back to my roller-coaster ride!
(comments ok)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My CW (long)
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
Oh M, I am sorry to hear about the roller coaster ride. But please know we are all here for you. I hope, pray and send dust to you and that you get a match soon!
If you ever want to go out and have a drink and let off some steam, let me know!
PM me for our family/baby blog
Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
oh my! I will be thinking of you.
Sending good thoughts and dust your way!
You should know that we will always ride that roller coaster w/you, M. We want to be there for all the ups and downs -even when the downs seem to outnumber the ups -because we cannot wait to be there for the day you finally hold your daughter/son for the first time. The one child that is yours and has always been yours long before you even knew he/she existed. When that happens and you can finally let out a sigh of relief and say, "Damn, what a ride. But so worth it to be right here..." well, we want to be there for that. I truly, with all my heart, hope this time is the time but if not we'll still be there for you for the next ride...
Big hugs! I am always hoping to hear that you will announce that you have been matched. Fingers crossed and please keep us updated on your journey. We're here for good and bad.
NorCalMOMS bio* NorCalBOTB* babywearingBIO
Harmony Doula
DD2: February 2014
Thank you everyone for your good thoughts & support. I became very emotional after reading them, and it again humbles me to know that I have such amazing women in my life!
Well, it wasn't until Wed. 11/3 that it was requested (it needs to be a letter/form on Dr. letterhead with a due date listed).
Then on 11/7 she told the social worker (SW) that she didn't get the address to send it to (the address was being texted to her by the agency) & she had it and would send it in.
On 11/8 she & I were texting & she seemed nervous that we were changing our minds about working with her, and I replied no, not at all, but she should do whatever it was that the agency needed so we could move forward. Her response was "ahead of you" which I interpreted to mean it was already done, but still nothing was received by the agency.
Then she became ill (and was hospitalized from 11/11-11/14 - of course I'm taking that on faith). She sent a text to the SW on 11/15 that she would send it in on 11/16... so here we are. All in all, it hasn't really been a long time, but the agency thinks that she's stalling. I'm waiting anxiously to see if it comes in by Monday.