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Two Under 2
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Just joined the 2U2 club and today was BAD
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in Two Under 2
DD is 23 months, and DS is 2 weeks. DD is typically pretty well behaved, with a touch of mischief, button-pushing in her.
Holy hell. Today was horrible. She's throwing fits, crying over everything, biting, hitting, and when she was told to do or not do something, she just looked at me and did the opposite. I'm sure this is all very normal, and I really tried to just spend time with her today whenever DS was sleeping. At the moment I'm just feeling like a GIGANTIC failure as a mom- I feel like all I did all day was fuss at her!
This has to be normal, right? Common sense tells me it gets better. I think maybe we're both going stir-crazy so tomorrow we're going somewhere- anywhere. Please- any helpful hints on how to not be the crazed, stressed out mom would be so greatly appreciated. TIA.
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Re: Just joined the 2U2 club and today was BAD
Oh, Mama. I have no advice, but I want to send you kind words and lots of virtual support. Our second LO will be arriving any day now, and our first is 19 months. I imagine there will be many days like this in our future.
You are not a failure of a Mom. You just have to readjust and learn a new normal with two kiddos. That's gotta take more than two weeks. I'm sure you felt overwhelmed at two weeks post-partum with just one, right? Cut yourself some slack.
And cut your daughter some slack, too. Just as your world has changed in the last two weeks, her little universe has been rocked. And she doesn't have nearly the same level of coping mechanisms in her repertoire as you do.
I'm no expert, but I absolutely guarantee that this is normal. Hang in there, Mama!
my dd is 22 months and baby is 2 weeks. older dd definitely throws more tantrums and misbehaves more than pre baby, but in the past week she's gotten less jealous of the baby. I've only had 3 days on my own, but we've gone somewhere everyday... i think we all get stir crazy when we don't leave!
oh and the tv is on a lot more than it used to be!
My tow are 15 months apart and some of it is timing with feeding your LO; waking them up a bit earlier as the older one is occupied. Don't get me wrong; there are days where i go bananas and that's when dh finishes his day i take a drive to get a coffee, soda or gas or something trival to get out and have a few minutes to myself.
When they are small; just work out a system with your dh so you can get some sleep; rest definitely helps so so much within that first 6 weeks.
My ds1 is now old enough he likes to help me with ds2; so get your older one to get a diaper or sock or toy or whatever to be involved when they understand it.
hang in there it does get better!
I feel ya, sister. Mine are just under 24 months apart. The first few weeks, there were a few days when I really felt on the brink of a complete nervous breakdown. The demands for attention are just relentless, and learning how to juggle the emotional and physical needs of two very young people is a challenge.
But, as others have said, it gets easier. You develop systems. You learn to take advantage of periods when one is occupied or asleep. You learn to appreciate the value of a few deep breaths, and DEFINITELY, you make sure your spouse understands how important it is for you to take some time for yourself when the opportunity presents itself.
Still in the process of figuring all of this out myself, but just know, you're not alone, and this difficult stage won't last forever!
Don't worry mom, it's totally normal - and it does get easier. My kids are 21 months apart too. She's still adjusting - she's trying to figure out how to balance this sudden sharing of attention. Do you have a pnp? What worked for me was when he was acting like that, he went in either his room or the pnp. When he acted like that, he was sent to there where he did not get my attention. He was essentially secluded, so he learned pretty quick that acting up doesn't get him attention, it gets taken away.
Also, I higly recommended learning to nurse side-lying if you are nursing. That way, if you feel like you haven't given her enough attention, you can lay on your side and still interact with your toddler - we would color or build with styrofoam blocks. Now I can nurse and he can entertain himself, but he's learned his brother needs time too, and mommy will be right back with him if he needs it.
Another thing to live by, if the baby and toddler need you at the same time, tend to the toddler first. The baby won't remember, but the toddler will.