October 2011 Moms

PP They said what?!? Vents

So there were a BAZILLION things we were sick of hearing when we were pregnant, now that your LO is here...what are you hearing repeatedly that gets on your nerves?

Personally "For just having twins you look great!" I know its supposed to be a compliment but everytime I hear it it sounds like, by any other standard you'd be one big hot mess, but when given this qualifier--we're going to give you a pass.

Also, strangers asking about my delivery---this just strikes me as a WTF? I don't know you and you just asked me if I delivered vaginally--what has or has not been through my ladyparts is none of your business. (this has happened twice)

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Re: PP They said what?!? Vents

  • "Is he sleeping through the night yet?" People have asked me this from week 1. No, most babies don't sttn at one week! I feel like they are judging me and my parenting abilities because I can't get my baby to sttn. Yes, I'm a horrible mom because I can't force my baby to sleep 8 hrs at night!!

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  • "So are you planning to have more?"  I dont understand why everyone cares how many kids I decide to have. I am married, have a full time job with benefits and do not have any state assistance whatsoever so why does it matter how many kids I have. I have a daughter and a son so everyone says "you have one of each so you can be done now." Ugh it gets on my damn nerves. I just stopped answering this questions because when I say "Yes, we want one more," people act like I am just the ridiculous for wanting another when I have one of each.
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  • imageKendrav4:
    "So are you planning to have more?"  I dont understand why everyone cares how many kids I decide to have. I am married, have a full time job with benefits and do not have any state assistance whatsoever so why does it matter how many kids I have. I have a daughter and a son so everyone says "you have one of each so you can be done now." Ugh it gets on my damn nerves. I just stopped answering this questions because when I say "Yes, we want one more," people act like I am just the ridiculous for wanting another when I have one of each.

    To piggy back on this...the one I forgot that I hear all the time that ALSO drives me nuts "Well next time if you just have one it'll be a peice of cake!" First off, I dont think ANY newborn is a cakewalk, secondly we aren't having more...

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  • If I hear one more person tell me that my baby is going to be spoiled b/c I hold her, I am going to lose my sh!t. I have a DS who is independent, happy, sleeps in his own room through the night. I think I know how to raise a kid. She's 5 weeks old and if she will not sleep any other way but ON me, I am going to let her. Not a battle I am willing to fight right now. Unless any of those people want to come to my house and stay up all night trying to put DD down, they can shove it.
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  • imageKendrav4:
    "So are you planning to have more?"  I dont understand why everyone cares how many kids I decide to have. I am married, have a full time job with benefits and do not have any state assistance whatsoever so why does it matter how many kids I have. I have a daughter and a son so everyone says "you have one of each so you can be done now." Ugh it gets on my damn nerves. I just stopped answering this questions because when I say "Yes, we want one more," people act like I am just the ridiculous for wanting another when I have one of each.

    Omg this!  If I hear 1 more person tell me I have the 'perfect family' now because I have 1 of each I am going to *** slap someone. We don't know if we are going to try for a 3rd yet and it isn't anyone else's business. The sex of my children should not determine the size of my family.  

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  • imageCA2006:
    If I hear one more person tell me that my baby is going to be spoiled b/c I hold her, I am going to lose my sh!t. I have a DS who is independent, happy, sleeps in his own room through the night. I think I know how to raise a kid. She's 5 weeks old and if she will not sleep any other way but ON me, I am going to let her. Not a battle I am willing to fight right now. Unless any of those people want to come to my house and stay up all night trying to put DD down, they can shove it.

    Ugghh...I second this!! I get the I'm going to spoil him to and then I get told I'm not going to like it when he's 5 and still sleeping with us. He's a month old, between now and 5 years I think I can find a way to get him in his own bed. I'm not putting a newborn in his crib and let him scream for 2 hrs so that he's not "spoiled"!

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  • "Is she a good baby?"

    How is any 3 week old a "bad" baby?!

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  • "When are you having the next one?"

    Seriously?? DS is three weeks old! Let me enjoy my baby and live in the "now" for a little while, thanks!
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  • Other than STTN, I get "Are you going to vaccinate him?" Mind your own business!
    Married 08.19.06 ~ DS 9.30.11 ~ Baby #2 EDD 11.28.18

  • I think the BF questions are strange...especially when they're from men and then followed by their opinion/advice.  This seems to be the common theme for me.  It's so weird.  I never thought anyone, stanger or not, would ask about something so private and personal.  I ask you, WTF?
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  • imageKendrav4:
    "So are you planning to have more?"  I dont understand why everyone cares how many kids I decide to have. I am married, have a full time job with benefits and do not have any state assistance whatsoever so why does it matter how many kids I have. I have a daughter and a son so everyone says "you have one of each so you can be done now." Ugh it gets on my damn nerves. I just stopped answering this questions because when I say "Yes, we want one more," people act like I am just the ridiculous for wanting another when I have one of each.

    mine is the opposite. I get, "so you are going to try again for a boy right?"  I even got this when I was still pregnant! 

     

    M & D - 12/29/2007
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  • There are a couple...

    1. Does he sleep through the night yet? - well, he is 5 weeks old. No, but he is writing his first book.

    2. How did you deliver?/Why did you go for a c/s? - I didn't. The doctors had to make a call because my son's heartbeat kept dropping and my pulse was too high and I had a fever, wonky blood pressure AND didn't progress. After 45 hours of labour, I didn't really fight the decision either. Plus, I am not sure why it's any of other people's business.

    3. So, when do you get rid of all those animals. - First of, I have one dog and two cats. It's not like I am running a zoo. Secondly..., fvck off. Never. What kind of a person even considers this?

    4. You gonna spoil him! - Nope, he is not manipulating me into cuddling/holding/carrying him, he cries because he needs me, so he gets me. It's as easy as that.

    And yes, I am tired and cranky. Can you tell?

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  • I haven't really had any off the wall questions or remarks, just the ones that people mean no harm by, but don't realize I've answered those questions approximately 1,934,576 times already. Examples:

    "How old is he?"

    "How is he sleeping?"/ "Are you getting any sleep?"

    "How is he eating?"

     "I can't believe you're out and about already!"-Um, he's 5 weeks old, and I'm sure as hell not going to stay cooped up in my house and stop living my life just because I had a baby.

    "He's so big!" (He was 10 lbs when he was born)

    "He looks JUST like Dustin!!"- I know people mean no harm by this, and it's true, DS does look a lot like DH, but he does have some of my features and it would be nice to hear that my child looks like me once in awhile!

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  • 'Is he a good baby?' Nope...hes really naughty?  He's been acting up?  I know what they mean, they mean 'is he an easy baby', but every time I hear it it rubs me the wrong way.

    Also since Luke is a big boy,  'what are you feeding that kid?'.  Breastmilk....you wanna talk about my boobs?  Pretty sure I make the same general breastmilk that all women make, kids grow at the rate that they grow. 

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  • imagejonnygurl76:

    imageKendrav4:
    "So are you planning to have more?"  I dont understand why everyone cares how many kids I decide to have. I am married, have a full time job with benefits and do not have any state assistance whatsoever so why does it matter how many kids I have. I have a daughter and a son so everyone says "you have one of each so you can be done now." Ugh it gets on my damn nerves. I just stopped answering this questions because when I say "Yes, we want one more," people act like I am just the ridiculous for wanting another when I have one of each.

    Omg this!  If I hear 1 more person tell me I have the 'perfect family' now because I have 1 of each I am going to *** slap someone. We don't know if we are going to try for a 3rd yet and it isn't anyone else's business. The sex of my children should not determine the size of my family.  

     

    Ooooh yes.  I cant tell you how many people have asked if we are going to try one more time for a girl.  

    I wasnt TRYING for a girl or a boy either time...I was trying to have a baby...which I have now done twice, and they are both the perfect addition to our family.  

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  • I hate the smug "so how are you doing?" from the person who is just dyyying to follow that up with an "I told you so" of some sort. Yes, I had my kids somewhat close together. Yes, it is hard but I knew what I was signing up for and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel like everyone is waiting to revel in my inevitable meltdown. Not gonna happen bishes.
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  • imageTaraDustin:

    "He looks JUST like Dustin!!"- I know people mean no harm by this, and it's true, DS does look a lot like DH, but he does have some of my features and it would be nice to hear that my child looks like me once in awhile!

    Don't worry, it'll come.  In my biology and psych classes in university they talked about how it's an evolutionary thing for babies to start off looking like the dad.  It's reassurance that it's his offspring (since we know it's ours because it comes out of us).

    I agree about the repetitious questions, but the other comment that keeps driving me crazy is my family warning me against letting her suck her thumb because I was a major thumb-sucker until I was far too old for it.  A) I was the one with the bad habit, I don't need the reminders/warnings of the "dangers" of it. B) Lily's a very determined girl already, and if she wants to suck her thumb I doubt we'll be able to do much about it.  At nearly 7 weeks she's only found her thumb three times (usually her hand is in a fist so she can't get to it and ends up trying to put her whole fist in her mouth).  One of those times was tonight, when I'd put the pacifier in and she managed to remove it in order to get her thumb in!

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  • "Is the baby a good sleeper?", "You don't sleep when the baby sleeps!?", "Are you going to vaccinate him? Why?"
  • I haven't gotten that many comments but I haven't really gone out with her to public places. But my MIL and SIL both keep making the same two comments. 

    1. You can't let her sleep to much during the day or she won't sleep at night. No she is a newborn and is supposed to sleep and if you try to keep them up than they will be overtired and won't sleep.

    2. You are giving her a bottle to early it will cause nipple confusion. Oh but it's perfectly fine to give her a pacifier. I don't get how one is ok in their book but not the other. Also, it's my decision to risk giving her a bottle early and causing some confusion but I know how well she is nursing and if it's safe to try not them.  

  • I had someone at the doctors waiting room ask me how often my girl poops... 

    and if she STTN.

    The biggest comment is "look at all that hair!" I'm well aware she has a lot of hair, the heartburn told me that

    I also get "what was her birth weight?"  

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  • I know this one is very harmless, but I am tired of people asking when I am going to back to work.  I think it is because I don't want to be reminded that I ever have to go back!
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  • imagecolleenb262:
    I know this one is very harmless, but I am tired of people asking when I am going to back to work.  I think it is because I don't want to be reminded that I ever have to go back!
    Ughhh me too! Seriously I am trying to enjoy every bit of my maternity leave. I thought that I would think about work before I had the baby, yeah right, I barely even remember what my day to day duties were ;)
  • EVERYONE comments on DS2's hair... it gets so old.  They all say the exact same thing, too: "Look at all that hair!"
  • imagejonnygurl76:

    imageKendrav4:
    "So are you planning to have more?"  I dont understand why everyone cares how many kids I decide to have. I am married, have a full time job with benefits and do not have any state assistance whatsoever so why does it matter how many kids I have. I have a daughter and a son so everyone says "you have one of each so you can be done now." Ugh it gets on my damn nerves. I just stopped answering this questions because when I say "Yes, we want one more," people act like I am just the ridiculous for wanting another when I have one of each.

    Omg this!  If I hear 1 more person tell me I have the 'perfect family' now because I have 1 of each I am going to *** slap someone. We don't know if we are going to try for a 3rd yet and it isn't anyone else's business. The sex of my children should not determine the size of my family.  

    To piggyback... people keep asking if we're going to "try for a girl" now.  Nope.  We planned on 2 children... we have 2 beautiful boys.  We don't need/want a girl.  Sheesh.

  • our baby loves to have her hands out and she sucks on them sometimes.  So everyone tells us we should have mittens on her.  First, it has been very mild recently, so she is fine outside without mittens.  Second-  if her hands are cold, we will cover them up when she cries.  Right now, she just cries when her hands are covered so we are going to leave her alone.

    and all these other opinions...

    you should give her water. 

    you should give her cereal

    why arent you boiling the water

    you cant give the baby room temp formula

    We just keep saying that we are following the rules of our pedi and they shut up. 

     

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  • imageNita2603:

    There are a couple...

    1. Does he sleep through the night yet? - well, he is 5 weeks old. No, but he is writing his first book.

    2. How did you deliver?/Why did you go for a c/s? - I didn't. The doctors had to make a call because my son's heartbeat kept dropping and my pulse was too high and I had a fever, wonky blood pressure AND didn't progress. After 45 hours of labour, I didn't really fight the decision either. Plus, I am not sure why it's any of other people's business.

    3. So, when do you get rid of all those animals. - First of, I have one dog and two cats. It's not like I am running a zoo. Secondly..., fvck off. Never. What kind of a person even considers this?

    4. You gonna spoil him! - Nope, he is not manipulating me into cuddling/holding/carrying him, he cries because he needs me, so he gets me. It's as easy as that.

    And yes, I am tired and cranky. Can you tell?

    I love all you said. but this was the best Humor does make the day go by easier!

    I get the sleeping question and going back to work. Isn't this a job?

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  • I get so many...I think I must just be cranky...

    1) "Does he STTN?"  No, and I don't think he will for a long time, and that's ok.

    2) "Why don't you give him rice cereal so he'll STTN?"  Um, so he doesn't choke and die.

    3) "You're going to spoil him by holding him all the time."  Well, then you can listen to him scream.

    4) "You're not breastfeeding!?!"  Trust me, I really really really wanted to, and I tried for weeks but couldn't get my supply up and I had to give up because it was giving me PPD...but hey, thanks for reminding me.

    5) "Why don't you sleep when he's sleeping?"  Because then I'd never get a da** thing done!!

    Lol, sorry!  That turned into more of a rant than I meant for it to. 

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  • imageTaraDustin:

    "He looks JUST like Dustin!!"- I know people mean no harm by this, and it's true, DS does look a lot like DH, but he does have some of my features and it would be nice to hear that my child looks like me once in awhile!

    this!!!

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