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Update: Feeling Frustrated
This may be TMI or triggering for some people. It's about my pending miscarriage so please be advised.
I had my HCG drawn again today. After she told me she was certain this was a miscarriage again I wasn't expecting it to double or magically be better and was honestly hoping the numbers would have started dropping so I could be done with this and not drag it out like last time (It drug out for 6 weeks last time!). From Friday to today my numbers creeped up a little. She still confirmed that she was certain it would end in miscarriage but uncertain when. I pointed out that last time how this drug on and that I wasn't interested in it dragging out again and she said they couldn't do anything until the numbers started dropping or if they could confirm by ultrasound. I have my ultrasound tomorrow and I'm feeling a little frustrated. So far I've had 2 crappy ultrasounds, the last one not only measuring too small and showing no development from the 1st but also showing blood outside the sack. And my blood work is showing it's not going to work so why can't they do anything? I know plenty of people that have evidence like this and have been able to either take a medication or have a D&C to speed along the process. Why do I have to wait for it to slowly develop a heart beat and then wait for it to stop in order to take the next steps? That's what they made me do last time. I had to sit there for 6 weeks with a doomed pregnancy on vacation in Mexico with my family and wait for it to either expel itself or to develop a heart beat and have the heart beat stop as proof that it was FOR SURE a miscarriage. Unfortunately for me it was the later of the two. Is this normal? Why does everyone think my situation is just "terrible that it has to drag out so long"? Do other people not have to wait it out like my doctor's office requires? Because that's what my friends are telling me. Is this more of a doctor's office policy and not what medically is best? I leave on Monday for California for my mom's wedding/family vacation and I am absolutely going to be PISSED if I have to go on another family vacation carrying a pending miscarriage.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update: Feeling Frustrated
You know how sorry I am about all this
It just sucks and I wish I could so thing to make it better. Sorry I don't have any advice about it since we go to the same dr. but I hope you'll get some good input here. (((hugs)))
I am feeling frustrated for you.
When Seeker was certain I was miscarrying, he drew an HCG on me and said that if it was over 5,000 he wanted to do a D&C. Mine was 35,000 (the first time) and my D&C was scheduled for 2 days later. He said that if I chose I could see if I would miscarry on my own but that a D&C was a surefire way to get it all out, cleaned and be done with it. I wanted to be done with it.
The other one was an ectopic so of course he had to go in and get that one.
Did you ask if a D&C was an option?
Also, for the future, is it possible for you to switch to an office that has ultrasound equipment? I can't tell you how great it was to get a u/s whenever I wanted one without having to make an appointment at a different office.
I am so, so sorry you are even having to think about this.
Also, if you'd like to talk with me off of the board, please e-mail me.
bumpllcg at gmail
This.
If it were me, I'd be changing doctors ASAP. I feel that it's probably either an office policy or a belief of your doctor. If I remember correctly your doctor is associated with Seton, a Catholic organization, right? Could your doctor have strong convictions along the Catholic faith that wouldn't allow her to do a D&C until she has proof that (a) there was never/will never be a heartbeat or (b) that there is one but it has stopped and the child has passed?
I would not relieve your past experience and would be getting at least a second opinion somewhere else tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
She said "we don't do D&Cs here until the numbers are dropping or until there's a heart beat and it stops.
The office does have ultrasound equipment. I've had 2 already and have another scheduled for tomorrow.
My doctor's office isn't associated with Seton - my insurance is Seton so I have to have it done at a Seton hospital. But my doctor's office isn't religiously affiliated.
I remember last time she walked out of the office to see if she could get someone to fit me in for a D&C before my Mexico trip and she walked back in and said the practice wasn't comfortable with doing that yet. So I don't think it's her beliefs but maybe her practice's. I'm going to talk with her about this at my appointment tomorrow and tell her that I'm NOT interested in dragging this out and if it's an office policy that I'd like a referral else where.
That sounds like a religious stance. That would bother the hell out of me. I am so sorry.
Did they do a u/s today? At Dr. S's they just roll the machine in whenever they want to see in there. There isn't a separate appointment. Or do they do that at you office and today they just didn't want/need to look?
All of the things you mentioned were enough for my OB to "call it" on my second miscarriage at 7w2d. Except I only had one crappy ultrasound that showed it two weeks behind where it should have been. My HCG at the time was appropriately high but I didn't redraw because it was so obvious that it was a miscarriage.
I can't remember, how far along are you supposed to be now? Far along enough to see a heartbeat if there would be one? I could see if they want to be on the conservative side if there's any chance you ovulated late but if it's stopped growing it seems like they can call it now.
As much as I wished I didn't have to put those pills in my mouth to complete the miscarriage both times and that it would have happened naturally... I think that if it had been as drawn out as yours was the last time I would have had to have been institutionalized.
BFP 12.20.2010 :: missed m/c 1/2011 around 8 weeks
BFP @ 9dpo 5.24.2011 :: missed m/c 6/2011 around 7 weeks
positive for ANAs (1:40) with a speckled pattern
MTHFR c677t mutation (heterozygous)
*folic acid, baby asprin, Prometrium, acupuncture, Lovenox*
BFP @ 9dpo 2.1.2012 || HCG = 8 : Progesterone = 19.2
2nd HCG @ 11dpo = 40 || 3rd HCG @ 21dpo = over 5000!
Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
I think this is a good idea. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
Ditto.
While I have no personal experience with this, I have several friends who have been able to have a very different experience when the result was certain.
I'm so so sorry Tiffany!
All of this. You were on fertility meds (and not monitored, which is another HUGE red flag IMO), you know (and they SHOULD know) exactly when you ovulated, at 6 weeks you were measuring 2 weeks behind. They told you it was a healthy pregnancy measuring 2 weeks behind, just because your numbers doubled and I had a HUGE issue with that. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to pour salt in your wound, but that's pretty shitty of them, if I'm being frank here. At 6 weeks you should have seen a heart beat, or at least the start of some cardiac activity, and you could see nothing. Just because your numbers are still creeping up doesn't mean everything is fine. It sounds like you have a blighted ovum and I would be demanding a d&c or meds to start your miscarriage tomorrow, or find another OB ASAP.
I went 4 weeks without knowing our baby had passed and I'm kicking myself now for not taking them up on their offer of another u/s. I hate that I went on so long not knowing, and who knows how much longer it would have taken if I hadn't had the NT scan at 12 weeks.
I'm so sorry. It's clear to me that you are in the process of miscarrying (and from what they say it's clear to them too) and they should give YOU the option of helping things along.
I would go get a 2nd opinion and AAOBGYN is awesome and has the equipment all right there ready to go.
I can not begin to express to you how sorry I am that you are going through this. I went through the exact same thing with three of my losses and I know all to well how hard and infurating it is. I honestly don't have any advice becuase my doctors wouldn't do a d/c until a certain hcg number. But if you want to talk to someone who has been there feel free to message me anytime. Sending giant hugs and thoughts your way, Sweetie!
ETA: Sorry, I didn't read the other posts before responding. It does sound like they are taking a religious stance on their d/c procedures. I would maybe look into getting a second opinion with another dr. Again, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.
I'd go to another dr. There are planned parent hoods and other offices around also. If you are comfortable calling and explaining your situation to them. I'd call and see if they can help.
My original dr wasn't even checking my levels. She literally had me come in every week to get an US and never giving me any idea what was going on. I was s pissed about week 4 of nothing happening, growing, developing. Then I started the mc on my own and freaked. When I called the office was already closed and I was sent to the DR on call who is the best dr I've ever seen. I seriously love him to bits.
Maybe out of this horrible ordeal, you'll find a wonderful supportive doctor.
I'm sorry you are going through this again.
For my last miscarriage, I went in at ~8 1/2 weeks for my "first appointment" and there was no heartbeat and I measured a week behind. Based on that, my OB said I could choose to wait it out or have a D&C and that I didn't have to decide right then and there, I could call him whenever. He didn't even make me do blood work at that time because he didn't want to put me through it. I made an tentative appointment for two weeks later and it just happened to work out where I was pretty much done passing everything by then so I went in. He did an ultrasound and checked my HCG to see if it had zeroed out by then. I see Phillips at AA OBGYN.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I totally understand just wanting it to be over. I hope you can find a way to make that happen for you. If you need someone to talk to or ask questions feel free to email me: amybwhitsett at gmail.
I agree w/ the pp that this sounds like a policy based religion, either set up by the office or your ob. While I (personally, as a Catholic) appreciate the effort of their office, I do not appreciate that they were not up front and honest w/ you as to *why* they needed to see a heartbeat or a drop in numbers.
I'm so sorry that this is happening. Again, I get that the doctor/office is respecting life at conception, but they seem to have forgotten that this isn't exactly easy for you, emotionally or physically to have this dragged out in such a way and that you are their primary patient.
Ditto this. I'm sorry too.
Seton's insurance is religious. They don't allow tubal ligations (or at least they don't pay for it) and they don't pay for birth control either (unless it's for medical reasons). I don't know what their d&c policy is for miscarriages. But if she's saying "we don't do it here" that sounds like an office or maybe even the practitioners own policy. But before you switch, I'd make sure you won't face the same problem with another doctor on your seton insurance
I have no personal experience but, ditto to this:
I'm sorry you are going through this.
I'm too tired to read everyones responses in detail.
They CANNOT and SHOULD NOT deem a pregnancy as doomed on HCG alone. It "usually" a strong indicator of a miscarriage but miracles can and do happen. Not every illness follows a predictable course and not every pregnancy does either. Even ultrasounds are a weird world, no matter how predictable embryo growth "usually" is.
Before my 1st D&C I read a lot on https://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/ It provided me with a lot of hope (albiet false hope) but it definitely opened my eyes to just how wrong medicine can be sometimes.
We don't know everything about the beginnings of life. Therefore, it's wise to error on the side of caution, even if it does drag it out and make life generally miserable. "What if" is a pretty big deal when you're talking about a baby.