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May 2011 Moms
kerrbear72
member
Sleep training.. for the 150th time.
kerrbear72
member
Break it down for me.
Basic concepts, tips, common mistakes, etc.
I'm anti-ST but I think its because I know nothing about it.
Also, if someone could tell me how to motivate myself in the middle of the night to not co-sleep that would be great too.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sleep training.. for the 150th time.
DITTO-
I read the baby whisperer (PU/PD method) and I must not being doing it right because he just screams louder and louder most times. What do you do if your LO is WIDE awake and playing? how do you not feed them if they are acting hungry?
DS Desmond Alexander 6.9.11
DD Vivienne Elena 12.16.13
? EDD 3/29/2018
Honestly I think the best thing is to get a book on sleep. Go to your bookstore and flip through the different sleep books. Have a cookie in the coffee shop while you do it, because cookies make everything better. And see which one sounds good to you. It should explain all these basic concepts, mistakes, etc.
My motivation for not co-sleeping in the middle of the night is because I don't want to spend the night next to a wiggly baby who wakes up every time I move an inch. But seriously, if you start getting them to go to sleep on their own, in their own bed, at the beginning of the night, it will become easier to get them to sleep in their own bed in the middle of the night too.
It's important to remember that there isn't one method that will work on every child. My kids would lose their sh!t if I did PU/PD with them.
My LO hated this! Also the pat part of shush pat was a no go. I just used this method and tweaked it to my child. (I used it for naps a while ago). We decided to use a modified Ferber CIO for when we broke the swaddle, and still use it every now and again. But again I just believe every mom knows their child. Knows what will just over stimulate them, what calms them, and the difference between their child's fussing & crying.
T will wa, wa,wa right before going to sleep. A sitter went in thinking he was crying and then battled for another 45 min to get him back to sleep. I know that this is just what he does while tossing before he gets comfy and drifts off. Same goes when he wakes in the night, he usually just talks to the wall for a few minutes and then falls back asleep, but I can for the most part tell when I need to anticipate actually going in there.
FWIW I read baby whisperer, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, and Ferber, and just took what I liked about each and tailored it to our needs. He now sleeps unswaddled, in his crib, 7:30-7:30 and for 2 1.5 hour naps give or take and an occasional 3rd nap. But I also believe he is just a naturally good sleeper.
Ditto iris on just finding a book that you can make work for you. Like L&K, I took a few bits from several sources. I got a lot from Moms On Call and some more from Ferber.
The pick up put down stuff doesn't work with Georgia. After trying forever to NOT do any form of CIO, I've found that she will nap better if she is just allowed to be alone by herself as soon as she rubs her eyes, after about 10 minutes she will start fussing, then cry for maybe 5 minutes, then finally fall asleep. Nighttimes are fine for us, it's the (lack of) naps that I can't deal with!
There's lots of different techniques. We used ferber. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and it was totally worth not spending hours a day trying to jiggle him to sleep. (It was out of control).
Tips: choose a method and stick with it.
Be consistent. Be consistent.
Give it time to work.
ETA: Basic concept: teaching LO to put themselves to sleep by breaking other sleep associations (rocking, nursing, etc). Ferber is using timed intervals of letting baby protest, with the intervals getting longer each progressive day. You get to go in, reassure, kiss, etc, then you leave until the next interval is up. Baby learns to go to sleep by themselves, and therefore, will be able to do the same when they wake at night (instead of crying and needing you to rock them, paci etc). Some people sleep train to get rid of night feeds, some don't. We did it because getting him down to sleep was a nightmare, for all nights and naps.
Good luck!!
If you're a reader, get a few from the library. I read (the relevant bits of ) Ferber's book, Healthy Sleep Habits, and No-Cry. And then a few others, but they all pretty much just rip off Ferber or the no-cry stuff.
I'm no help on the mid-night motivation. Owen is still eating every 2 hours from 1 to 7.
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Like the others have said, there is no "one size fits all." Some books are better for establishing a routine, while others focus more on night/nap sleep.
I've read just about every book that's out there. I take bits and pieces at different stages of development and make it into what works for my kids. Both of my children are so different and what worked for my DS doesn't work at all for DD.
My suggestions? Get Ferber (the best book for this age, IMO), HSHHC and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
And dude, listening to your baby cry absolutely sucks. I know this, but a little bit of crying and fussing will go a long way in the sleep department. I personally believe that the longer the bad habits are allowed, the tougher it gets to sleep train. With age, come developmental milestones, and a more "challenging" baby all around. So, I'd do it between now and 9 months. Just my .02
Good luck, Kerr.
I agree with others who say to read different techniques. Ferber worked great for us for night time sleep associations so we didn't have to carry her around for 30 minutes before putting her down only to have to carry her around even more when her eyes popped open 3 seconds after laying her down.
So far, though, Ferber has not been working for naps. I haven't been doing it consistently, however, because I prefer to keep my sanity. I probably should just bite the bullet and try it for a few days at least to see if it starts getting better. Things are so stressful with DH's job right now, though, that I just can't bring myself to add more stress with nap sleep training.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I'm fully aware that I've been taking the lazy approach thus far and hoping it would all just work out. I've also been doing the "well its not really bothering me so I shouldn't try to fix it" thing. Because of that I, personally, am getting myself into bad habits which I know has to translate into him having bad habits.
Perfect example, last night: Bed at 7pm. Woke up at 7:45 and brought him to bed with me (I was exhausted last night). I tried three different times by 8:30 to put him back in his crib. Each time he'd scream as soon as he'd feel me putting him down. I tried to let him cry. It varied from general fussiness to screams each time. He finally passed out in bed with me around 9:15 and I was able to put him in the crib, asleep. He was back up again around midnight.
I'm getting to the point where I am too tired at night now to deal with his inability to sleep so he's coming to bed with me. Bad.
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart