1st Trimester

No child of mine will ever ________ (fill in the blank fun)

No MALE child of mine will ever wear skinny jeans. 

No man should wear skinny jeans....nobody wants to see your kibbles and bits all jammed up like that. Gross.

 

No female child of mine will wear shorts that look like they should be underwear. 

Come on parents. There are pervs out there checking out your children!!

Re: No child of mine will ever ________ (fill in the blank fun)

  • No child of mine will ever run around a huge department store because I'm too busy to watch them.

    Seriously I wanted to smack this lady earlier. Get off your cell phone and please watch your 5 year old who is running in circles around the cash registers, and in and out of automatic doors in the dark. Do you want her to get kidnapped? 

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  • watch cartoons all day long

    gah theres a million more, but I can't think of any 

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  • My child will never lag behind me as I keep walking in public because I'm too lazy to carry them or drag them. I hate it when I see parents do this! How easy it would be for someone to snatch your child!
  • No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.
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  • Oofta, be careful of this one...

    It's amazing once those little ones come around how many of your words you eat! ;) 

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  • imageAmKaSaw:
    No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.

    I never say never!! But I like this one :) It is very non-judgey. 

  • imagelittlewifey:

    Oofta, be careful of this one...

    It's amazing once those little ones come around how many of your words you eat! ;) 

    Haha seriously. I was scrolling through checking to see how many of these replies are from first timers ;-)

    DC1 (2.5) | DC2 (1) | #3 due 6.1.2012
  • imagepiedpiper07:

    imageAmKaSaw:
    No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.

    I never say never!! But I like this one :) It is very non-judgey. 

    Agreed! Now THIS one is a good one. 

    DC1 (2.5) | DC2 (1) | #3 due 6.1.2012
  • No baby or small child of mine will ever accompany DH and I to a very loud, very late concert because we couldn't get a sitter.

    (This couple sat RIGHT in front of the speaker. The baby cried all night and they didn't leave until the second encore.)

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  • imagetheresat858:
    imageapollonia10:

    No baby or small child of mine will ever accompany DH and I to a very loud, very late concert because we couldn't get a sitter.

    (This couple sat RIGHT in front of the speaker. The baby cried all night and they didn't leave until the second encore.)

    Really? That is horrible!!  I remember crying at fireworks every fourth of July when I was a kid - but my parents did their best with the cotton in the ears and not sitting close.

    It was awful. I was so offended. I really hate seeing people out past 10 or 11 at night with their babies or young children, but to see them with a baby at a concert was just horrible. I wanted to offer to take the baby outside, but I thought that might be considered kidnapping, lol...

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  • Be subjected to participate in a beauty pageant of any kind! It's child abuse!
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  • Be brought in public naked.

    Seriously. Dress yo' mofking kids.

     

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  • No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

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  • imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

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  • Yeah, I hate to be a crotchety old timer, but you guys, your kids will do a lot of these. Kids will be kids. Your kid will be naked because she peed through everything in the carseat and you HAVE to get milk. He will run around somewhere before you catch him. She will watch cartoons when you've had a long day and are pregnant with your second. 

    Never say never when it comes to kids (Except for the pot and midnight concert thing. I can get behind that).  

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  • Oofta, be careful of this one...

    It's amazing once those little ones come around how many of your words you eat! ;) 

    THIS!!!  lol - first time moms crack me up sometimes

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  • imageFulbri05:

    Yeah, I hate to be a crotchety old timer, but you guys, your kids will do a lot of these. Kids will be kids. Your kid will be naked because she peed through everything in the carseat and you HAVE to get milk. He will run around somewhere before you catch him. She will watch cartoons when you've had a long day and are pregnant with your second. 

    Never say never when it comes to kids (Except for the pot and midnight concert thing. I can get behind that).  

     

    Exactly this. I can't tell you how many times I said "I swore I'd NEVER do this" LOL. It happens and when it happens to you and your kid, you just don't care because a lot of times it is the only option you have. Last week my son unbuckled himself from the shopping cart (the low the ground truck one) ran out, grabbed a block of cheese LICKED it and put it back. I was so dumbfounded and I saw this pregnant girl give me the serious stink eye. I was like "oh yeah, JUST WAIT SISTER" I can't wait for karma to get her. 

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  • LOL, my child is minutes from being 2 and ran through Kohls yesterday. Not because I didn't have time to get her, but b/c she is two and will not stay seated in her stroller. I am not super woman. Does that make me a bad Mother?

    Just wait. Children have minds of their own. You can not control them 100% of the time. It's just not possible.

    You will also be amazed at how quickly they get naked!

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  • bwahahahahaha.......hahahahahha....wait, i am still laughing.....hahhahahaa.

    talk to me in about 2 years and we will see if you ate your words.

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  • Hahahahahahaha! This entire thread has me in tears, I am laughing so hard. I said I would never to so many things! Oh how your perspectives change. 
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  • imageEmmaRJ:
    My child will never lag behind me as I keep walking in public because I'm too lazy to carry them or drag them. I hate it when I see parents do this! How easy it would be for someone to snatch your child!

    Drag them?! 

    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


  • First time moms make me giggle.
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  • imageAmKaSaw:
    No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.
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  • imageAmKaSaw:
    No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.

     

    This one I can get behind 1000%. Big Smile

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  • imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have three children, 6, 5, and 2.  Not once have they been allowed to run in a restaurant.  Some things you can enforce. Oh and I still have not been to a Chuck E Cheese.

    Smiley: April '05 Rocky: May '06 Tex: July '09
  • imageoutnumbered:
    imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have three children, 6, 5, and 2.  Not once have they been allowed to run in a restaurant.  Some things you can enforce. Oh and I still have not been to a Chuck E Cheese.

    None of them ever got away from you and ran around before you could grab them?  Seriously?  I call BS.

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  • imageMegDC:
    imageoutnumbered:
    imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have three children, 6, 5, and 2.  Not once have they been allowed to run in a restaurant.  Some things you can enforce. Oh and I still have not been to a Chuck E Cheese.

    None of them ever got away from you and ran around before you could grab them?  Seriously?  I call BS.

    There is a difference in your child momentarily escaping and you sitting on your lazy azz letting them run around a restaurant. I don't care if you want to have dinner out, if you can't control your kids get your food to go. It is called being considerate of those around you. A restaurant is a business not a playground.  

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • imageMegDC:
    imageoutnumbered:
    imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have three children, 6, 5, and 2.  Not once have they been allowed to run in a restaurant.  Some things you can enforce. Oh and I still have not been to a Chuck E Cheese.

    None of them ever got away from you and ran around before you could grab them?  Seriously?  I call BS.

    Nope they have never run in a restaurant.   I am a really mean Mom.

    Smiley: April '05 Rocky: May '06 Tex: July '09
  • imagejonnygurl76:

    bwahahahahaha.......hahahahahha....wait, i am still laughing.....hahhahahaa.

    talk to me in about 2 years and we will see if you ate your words.

     

    lol...ITA.

  • imagegisa886:
    imageMegDC:
    imageoutnumbered:
    imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have three children, 6, 5, and 2.  Not once have they been allowed to run in a restaurant.  Some things you can enforce. Oh and I still have not been to a Chuck E Cheese.

    None of them ever got away from you and ran around before you could grab them?  Seriously?  I call BS.

    There is a difference in your child momentarily escaping and you sitting on your lazy azz letting them run around a restaurant. I don't care if you want to have dinner out, if you can't control your kids get your food to go. It is called being considerate of those around you. A restaurant is a business not a playground.  

    I think everyone can get behind this. But the thread is "ever". Insinuating that we all have 6 arms and can hold on to our child at all times. My child will not be allowed to run around for large amounts of time in a restaurant. But now that he's walking, I will not say that he will NEVER run around. All it takes is a second before I could get him under control for some mom with a newborn to give me the side eye. 

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  • This is my 4th child and I must say not one of my children ever ran around in a restaurant or a department store.
  • By 2 most of your kids will have done most of these!  Just wait:)    Usually the things you say never to, will happen.

     

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  • think that older people are worthless. That's where our history resides! 
  • imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have a 2.5 year old and he has never run around in a restaurant.  Nor has he run around a department store.

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  • imagegisa886:
    imageMegDC:
    imageoutnumbered:
    imageMegDC:
    imagemscandyman:

    No child of mine will ever run around in a restaurant.  

    I hate this!  Not only is it annoying to the other diners (I'm paying for a nice dinner out, not to watch Jr's Rambo's impression), but dangerous should they trip a server carrying a huge tray of food.  The only exception? A Chuckie Cheese but since I would rather chew glass than spend any time there, probably won't be an issue.

    I'm going to make the bold prediction that by age 2 or so you laugh at yourself for writing this.

    I have three children, 6, 5, and 2.  Not once have they been allowed to run in a restaurant.  Some things you can enforce. Oh and I still have not been to a Chuck E Cheese.

    None of them ever got away from you and ran around before you could grab them?  Seriously?  I call BS.

    There is a difference in your child momentarily escaping and you sitting on your lazy azz letting them run around a restaurant. I don't care if you want to have dinner out, if you can't control your kids get your food to go. It is called being considerate of those around you. A restaurant is a business not a playground.  

    Yes 

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  • talk back to me twice!  :)
  • imageAmKaSaw:
    No child of mine will ever go a single day without hearing how loved they are.

    I totally approve of this message!!

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