Etoynama (sorry I butchered that!) post below and what she is experiencing made me remember how much I struggled after Paige was born. All I wanted to do was cry, I would sit in my bathroom and cry when people came to visit us. I was too nervous to go to Target and walk around because I never knew when I was just going to break down. But luckily, this only lasted 14 days for me.
And I can only think of a handful of people IRL who say that they have experienced similar feelings.
You?
Re: Did you get the "baby blues?"
I only had one day when I realized I was completely out of whack, hormone wise, after her birth.
Since our pregnancy went so traumatically, my OBs pretty much insisted before I even give birth that I start counseling immediatly, which both DH and I did, and it helped a ton. I am so grateful my doctors were so proactive in heading of PTSD in our case.
Our church has recently made a point of helping women with new babies deal with PPD, and the stories we are hearing are amazing. We have a long way to go in order to learn how to best help.
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You know, I was that way with Paige, too. She was such a horrible eater and I felt so out of whack, it took me a while to really "like" her. Obvs I loved her, but I didn't actually enjoy her until those first few weeks were over.
Then when my boys were born, it was instant. I gushed over them straight away. And I didn't get that PP fog at all. Who knows.
That would have been awful for me as well, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that in in already emotionally fragile time.
I did with Caroline, not with Parker.
Part of it was sleep deprivation, I think...but part of it was hormones, for sure. I would rock her in the nursery and just cry and cry.
It lasted about 3 weeks or so??
The first 3 months was hard...but by the 4th month, things were so much better. I actually felt like we might survive her being an infant by that time, lol.
I was the same way - had it with my first, not my twins. When my boys were born, I was instantly in love, gushed over them, happy.
Yes, I had about 2 weeks of baby blues with Eliza, but none with Lydia. I would cry & cry & cry. It started in he hospital & lasted a solid 2/3 weeks. I remember our first night home, my mom Went to take her into the nursery for the first time & I started bawling & yelling that I had to be the one to take her in. We were living OOT at the time and when my mom was leaving after 2w, it nearly broke my heart. I could not stop crying. My inlays arrived the next day and like LVB, I would hide in my bathroom and bawl my eyes out.
I haven't really had a single day of tears with Lydia. I had a much easier delivery, nursing experience and we live at home now, so I think thAt all helped to some degree.
I cried every day for almost 3 weeks. I think I literally snapped out of it when dh went back to work and I was left alone with two infants. I think I snapped into block and tackle mode.
DH also mandated that I get outside once a day, which helped tremendously.
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I had what I think was the baby blues a couple of days after he was born. For me, I was just so stressed out that my milk hadn't come in and that Jack seemed so hungry and I felt that I was failing as a mother to the one thing that mattered the most in the entire world to me.
So, it wasn't a lack of connection, but maybe an over-connection? I felt better when my milk came in. But I also started taking Celexa again. My OB didn't want me to take a chance since I had suffer depression in my past. And she is adamant that I stay on it past 6 months postpartum.
Since that hurdle early on, I have felt pretty good. Even my transition back to work went better than I anticipated.
As you know, I had it bad. And looking back, I am 100% sure I had PPD and not just baby blues.
I think it was typical baby blues at first - weepy, emotional, etc. But, situations (my parents separation 3 weeks after Kate was born, Kate's medical issues) led the baby blues to turn in to so much more. I also had a very hard time connecting with Kate b/c I was so caught up in the idea that I should have 2 other babies at home too. It took me a while to get over my loss and just focus on the baby I did have.
My doctors are well aware of my struggles and I will be medicated all throughout this pregnancy and when coming home. I realize there's a chance I will be fine after Will's birth but, give his medical issues and such, I don't want to chance it.
My closest friend here in town also had baby blues/ PPD. I was open about how i felt which allowed her to be open with me. I think we need to talk about it more so that new moms know it's ok that everything isn't perfect in those first few weeks/ months.
I had it both times. With Brady I would say I had full blown PPA. With Nolan I would say I had full blown PPD. And I only know that now looking back on it. Both times, while I was in it I didnt really realize how bad it was. It wasnt until I was back to normal (or my new normal) that I realized it. It lasted about 3 months both times.
With Brady I was so anxious about everything. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I was convinced he was falling behind and was not meeting milestones, no one could do things the "right" way so I never asked for help and tried to do it all myself. Then with Nolan everything made me mad/sad. When I think back on that time in my life I am very ashamed. I feel like I was always mad at my newborn for crying and mad at my 16 month old for not listening. It was a hard adjustment for me.
I cried every day for the first 3 weeks. I was convinced DH was going to leave me because I did not change a diaper for the first 5 days and every night when he came home I would just walk up to him and cry in his arms. I honestly felt like I'd made a terrible mistake and that I should not have had a baby. I can only say that because now I know that Garrison was the best thing I have ever done in my life and my love for her is so overwhelming-- the doubt was totally hormones and TOTAL exhaustion talking.
I think more people go through it than admit it.
This was me too! Jake was in the NICU for 14 days so I didn't get to really stop and think... I was more concerned abt him and getting him home.. So that was a distraction for me.. And things didn't really click until a month after he was born. Jake and I didn't fully bond I would say until 2/3 mths either.
I Will be interested to see what happens when I have this baby..