Hello, may I join you?

ahappywife · November 2011

DH and I TTC for over 2 years. We went to hell and back, I know you all know what I mean. We hit the end of the road a couple of years ago. We didn't go the adoption route because IF took so much out of us and we didn't want to suffer any more possible heartbreak with a failed adoption.

It's been a very long road, and I think we've made a lot of progress, but there are definitely days where the heartache comes back full force. But for the most part, we're trying to see the positives of living child free, since these are the cards we were dealt.

I'm so happy that I came across this board tonight. Sometimes I feel like no one else knows how we feel. I hope it is ok to join you here.

BeckyP005 · November 2011

I am so sorry you are on this board and things did not work out. I am not quite on this board yet but very soon I will be. This board has been a GREAT help when I'm feeling down. My friends don't understand and I sometimes think DH doesn't either.

I have no strageties on coping. DKC1308 just posted a nice response on how she tries to focus on all the positives of her life like you mentioned. Actually there are alot of other helpful responses on here. If we decide not to do DE IVF then I seriously think I might need to see a therapist. It feels kinda embarrassing but I need help in coping with never being a mom especially when my close friends are able to do IVF and are getting pregnant. I feel that not being able to be a mom will be with us forever. We will have more good days in the months or years to follow but we will also have those sad days. Good luck in finding some peace.

irishfrenchgirl · November 2011

I am new to this board as well. We also TTC for over 2 years with no luck. Adoption is also not for us for the same reasons as you. I started posting here because I feel so alone and cannot find anyone to talk to about it. After such a long road I just wanted to find a place where I could share how I feel and have someone understand it. Not have someone tell me I should try again, try adoption, fostering, etc. THIS IS IT! No more let downs. it is simply too hard.

So anyway...you are in the right place. The women here understand. I understand. You have been through so much. I hope that this place gives you some peace, support and strength to face the future.

DKC1308 · November 2011

It is a heart felt welcome I give you.

This board, while slow, is a really great place to just vent it out, ask questions, and/or break down as you see fit. It is a special board with really great ladies. It has been a comfort knowing they share my heart. Even though it saddens me more to know they carry my burdens also.

I wish you the best in this next chapter.

ahappywife · November 2011

I think one of the worst parts for me is knowing how badly my DH wanted children, and I couldn't give him any. When we found out I'd never be able to have children, I offered to let him go, so he could find someone else and maybe have a family. But thankfully he said that while he did really want kids, he only wanted them with me. He said if we couldn't have them together, then he wouldn't have them. This is when I knew our marriage would survive IF. I still cry when I remember when he said that to me.

I also hate when I feel like less of a woman because I cannot get pregnant. Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? When I see a visibly pregnant woman, sometimes I feel inferior.

While I'm sad that you know how I feel because you're in the same spot, it is comforting to know that someone else can understand how I feel.

MandyBrownNoser · November 2011

I've sadly found that I don't even have to have the inferiority thoughts myself because other people are more than willing to step in and do that for me. My mil who feels the need to tell me that women either have children, a career, or both and to have none (I am a "only not starving and homeless because I have a husband who pays the bills" writer which she thinks is code for "I have no ambition and only married her son for his money") is unacceptable. Or the women who rub their bellies as they proclaim that "it is a gift from god and I pity you won't experience this blessing". Those people do far more to make me feel I inferior than I do myself. so I just try to ignore them and get about my life.

MrDobalina · November 2011

So far this week I have cried into my shopping bags on more than one occasion. I have saved my entire salary for fifteen years waiting for a baby that just won't come.

Fvck it. I plan to go on a retail spending spree that would leave Kim K. breathless.

ahappywife · November 2011

MrDobalina:
So far this week I have cried into my shopping bags on more than one occasion. I have saved my entire salary for fifteen years waiting for a baby that just won't come.

Fvck it. I plan to go on a retail spending spree that would leave Kim K. breathless.

I totally hear you. My handbag collection is to die for Stick out tongue Now that it's paid for, I can really enjoy them. It's funny that I tried to make myself happy with handbags, LOL.

Want a personalized experience?

Hello, may I join you?

Re: Hello, may I join you?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards