Help! Need to vent...feeling down today about fussy baby!

shanrob1022010 · November 2011

I'm a new mom and feel like I do not know anymore what my LO wants or what her ques are. It seems like we get into a pattern where I know what she wants and then BAM, it has changed again. Here is what is going on. The evenings are when she is super fussy. The nurse at the hospital where I delievered said it's the bewitching hours and can start from anywhere from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. or later. Lucky for me, my LO is asleep by 10 or even earlier once I get her down. She is super fussy at the breast at these times, pulling away and crying. It almost seems like she isn't hungry but I know she is. On top of being fussy she could also be cluster feeding. For the past few nights, she has fallen asleep breastfeeding and when I put her down to bed she will sleep for the night till her next feeding. I know she is using me for comfort so when I try to rock her with her pacifier, she crys and fusses so the only think that works is me. Her naps are no more then 30 minutes during the day maybe if we are lucky they are longer so I know she could be super tired. Does anyone else experience this? I guess, I'm just having one of those days where I feel like I'm not doing anything right and I'm being down on myself. Another thing, forget going anywhere. We have to time it just right and if she gets mad while we are out, I can't comfort her until we get home. I'm so scared one of those times I might be out and it's close to the eveing time when she needs to eat. Is it going to be like it is at home? That would be terrible!

Does anyone else experience this? We also had a breath holding spell so when she crys I am scared to death she will do it again even though they are harmless. It's almost like she throws little tantums and she's only 9 weeks old!!! She got her shots last week and almost did it on the table but I picked her up before she could.

Sorry this is so long! Thanks for letting me vent and any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!

pete0121 · November 2011

Just wanted to let you know that I could have written this exact post myself and am feeling totally down this morning too.

DS was a very cranky baby who had severe GERD. It was so disappointing and hurtful that I couldn't just enjoy my baby. All we wanted was a different experience with DD. However, its been worse. She was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome (a chromosonal abnormality) at 5 days old and we have had a very busy month of dr's appts and tests. Now she has the milk protein allergy and reflux. It just seems like if her eyes are open she's crying. She doesn't want to play or watch her toys or anything. We get maybe 20 happy minutes a day. Maybe. Its so discouraging.

The only uplifting thing that I keep telling myself is that DS, who was rarely happy as a newborn, is a very happy, very smart, very fun little boy. He became so much easier, and dare I say, enjoyable around 3 months. You're almost there. It will get better, it just really really sucks right now!!

laurenlomsdale · November 2011

I am a FTM too but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. But honestly, what you are talking about sounds like what other moms here on TB and IRL go through.

If baby keeps pulling away while you're trying to feed her, maybe try and let her be (i.e., don't force her to the breast) for a few minutes and then try again. She may be frustrated because she's being pushed against you and that's why she's resisting. This happens with my DD and she usually latches after I give her a few minutes (sometimes she cries in between too).

Also, I've heard that after their 2 months shots they can be extra fussy. Sometimes the repercussions can happen a few days after the shots are given, so maybe that's one reason she's been extra sad.

Again, I'm no expert but I'm sure things will get better soon!

NotSharknado · November 2011

First don't beat yourself up you are doing everything you can. My dd is same way with going out. She would scream bloody murder making me not want to EVER leave the house! However the last two outings seemed a little easier. I do believe it's a phase and they eventually grow out of it so don't stop going out. As far as crying at the breast, I ff but she did the same thing with bottle..exactly. Turns out she has reflux and with the meds she's much better. She also does it when she's overtired. I just kept doing same thing every day and night and she seems to be falling into the routine. It gets better. Our babes are about the same age and I'm starting to see change so hopefully you will too. Also maybe 3month growth spurt? Mine goes through hers a week or two early. Hope this helps a little, hang in there.

shanrob1022010 · November 2011

Thank you everyone! I started crying reading your posts. Maybe I just needed a good vent and a good cry! I know it's going to get better but it's hard when you can't enjoy your LO during these times.

I will try your suggestions!

dragon_chica · November 2011

Breath.

Everyone has their "I'm a bad mother and I want to crawl under a rock and cry" moment(s). You're not alone. Everyone gave great advice so I'll just say one thing. The moment you think you have a routine or things are going a certain way that's when they decide to change things up on you. As long as you realize and accept that it won't be as jarring when it happens. Always remind yourself that this too shall pass.

SMJ1106 · November 2011

Don't worry you are not alone! We are going through all the same things. I took DD in to the pedi last week for redness around her eyes...only to be told it was nothing. Well, after a really bad and extremely fussy sleepless week (on top of me being sick) we ended up having to take her to the ER on Friday evening only to find out she has an eye infection/pink eye. DD has been a "high needs" baby and it has been really frustrating at times. Just when I think she is getting better and seems a little happier something happens and she is miserable again!

They say that things get much better around 3 months... DD is 10 weeks old today so I am just very skeptical about her having a complete turn around in a couple of weeks. But, I am hopeful! I have to be or I would go completely crazy! Hang in there... it will get better for all of us sooner or later (hopefully sooner!).

rkto · November 2011

our baby has a witching hour(s) between 8pm and midnight. She doesnt settle down, she pushes the bottle away, then she cries for it. She has the hiccup all the time and she is super gassy.

But we just try everything and then try it again

DawnJM25 · November 2011

You are definitely not alone! LO gets fussy every day around 4PM. He loves to walk around outside and we live in a cul-de-sac, so I save our walking for that time of day and chat with the neighbors and kids as they get home. It gives LO new things to look at. He gets fussy again when we come in the house, and sometimes I'm in tears when DH gets home from work. It's so easy to feel like a bad mom when LO cries and you can't do anything to comfort, but it happens to all of us! You're doing great!

kaustin2010 · November 2011

I feel your pain! I am also a FTM and I have to say that this is one hundred times harder than I ever thought it would be. I think these first few months, before they can really interact with you, are just brutal. You're pouring everything you have into this little person and you're not really getting much back except crying. At least, that's how it feels to me. Sometimes my husband comes home from work and finds both of us crying.

Hang in there- everyone says it gets better and I'm sure it does. You are not alone. I like what the pp said- just try everything and then try it again.

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Help! Need to vent...feeling down today about fussy baby!

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