Postpartum Depression

Followup to "What to Expect.."

I went to the psychiatrist on Tuesday. It went fairly well and I did receive a prescription for an anti depressant. (Celexa? Selexa?). He recommended also talking to someone which I am open to, particularly because I want to feel better. 

I went to whom they scheduled me with yesterday and let me just say, I could not stand her. It was awkward because it turns out, I knew her from church (her son was in the confirmation program this past year and we had issues with her son's behaviour), and I felt like she led me on with a lot of what she was saying. Like it wasn't what I wanted to say. She kept asking me if I love the baby, if I was angry at him, and had me schedule bonding times with him. 

While I am having issues bonding with my little guy, I don't like the idea of having a scheduled bonding time with him...like it's forced. I pick him up and cuddle him several times a day, even when I don't particularly feel like it. I do love him, even though I don't feel the magical "mommy" connection right now. The only thing she was "on" about was the fact that I have a lot of anxiety over the baby and that something could happen to him. We definitely did not connect. 

I left the session feeling even worse than I came in. I ended up going through my old planner and found the number of a therapist I saw in college...and saw him today. That went a lot better but unfortunately he's not covered by my insurance.  He did work with what I could pay him and I did enjoy talking to him and showing him the baby. 

I'm feeling really discouraged by all this. Tell me this gets better. I never was on anti depressants before, I'm failing miserably at breast feeding (and now that I'm on something, my husband and I both agreed to stop, plus it's causing both me and the little guy issues), and I just feel like a huge failure as a mom.  

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Re: Followup to "What to Expect.."

  • What is so great, is that you sought for help very soon, be easy on yourself, being a mom is already very hard plus dealing with PPD makes it much harder, but keep in mind, by seeking help you are doing what is best for yourself and your baby, which means you are not a failure, just going through a rough time, I also have PPD, and I regret not seeking help when I started feeling odd..... my mother always reminds me that I am a great mother, and despite that sometimes I still feel like I suck at being a mom, God Bless....
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  • I'm so sorry to hear that therapy didn't go well.  That first lady, wow!  I really hope you can find someone else (under your insurance) that will be as helpful as your old therapist or more.

    It gets better, Sporkmoostipe.  Be vigilent in taking your prescription and be patient, since it will take a week or two to really kick in.  Keep coming here to let us know how it is going, to complain, to get support.

    You saw my response on the breastfeeding question earlier today.  I was heartbroken and cried a lot when we made the decision to switch to formula (I made my husband confirm and back me up on the decision, so we made it).  He just wanted what would make me feel better.  Now that we've been formula feeding for ~5 months, it's hard to imagine what it would be like now.  I still wish I could have breast feed for 6-12 months, but I don't regret our decision to stop.  You will feel guilt, but it will go away. ~big hugs~

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  • You are not a failure. You are getting the help you need. You will find a therapist that you are compatable with. Not Breast feeding because of your meds makes you a thoughtful careful wonderful mother. You will be o.k, and it will get better.

    I had PPD, am diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and issues with depression. It is something you can get through with help and support from you husband, family and therapy.

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  • It will get better, you are not a failure.  Kudos to you for talking to someone.  I was diagnosed at 8 weeks, but I knew earlier that something wasn't right and I didn't see anyone so you are definitely doing the right thing.  If you aren't comfortable with the person you are seeing, find someone else. IMO, you need to see someone who you feel comfortable with especially since this is so private and personal.  I would also find it weird that I knew her from another setting.

    I hope you start feeling better soon.

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