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Intro and questions
Hi ladies. I guess I will be joining your ranks. Short story, my DH started saying he was unhappy while deployed. I said we can work on things when he got home with a therapists since we kept talking in circles. He would go back and forth between wanting to work on things to being angry and not wanting to. He also signed up for a dating site while deployed. Cue to him getting home and getting texts from another woman whom he was deployed with for 2 months. The kept in touch after she returned stateside. He's basically said he's wanted out of our marriage since he got home. He's always calling and texting this woman and has even went and spent a weekend with her. (although he says he hasn't cheated on me, sure) We went to 1 session with a therapist, but he didn't want to go and he's mad that I made him go. He's been mean and angry, not like the man I married. What really sets him off is if I bring up the other woman. Now, he says the kids are his number one priority, but since he's been home (less than a month) he's gone out of state for about 2 weeks.
We live in NC and he's active duty military. I guess I was wondering if anyone else has gone through a military divorce? Also, any and all advice on child custody, child support, spousal support and anything you all can think of would be greatly appricated(sp). This is not how I thought my life would go, but you can't make someone stay if they don't want to. I'm just so overwhelmed with everything right now. Thank you in advance for any advice.
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Re: Intro and questions
I'm so sorry you're going through this. But you're 100% right in saying you can't make someone stay. He sounds like he's been checked out of your marriage for a long time, and is clearly cheating on you with this woman. Of course he's denying it -- what man in his right mind admits to having an affair?
While I don't have any advice on a military divorce, the Military Families board is a good one to check out. Also, I think there are a few ladies on the Starting Over board on TN who have been through a military divorce. You can try checking there too.
Good luck!
I haven't been through a military divorce, but in NC your single greatest resource for divorce info is rosen.com. They even have a forum there where you can post questions and get answers from their attorneys. This site has been a GOLD MINE of info for me lately. Are you legal residents of NC or will your divorce be done elsewhere? If it's in NC, then these attorneys can answer a lot of questions for you.
Also, we are not military, but my husband met someone while working out of state (we were supposed to be apart for 4 months, he made it two before ditching us for her), and decided to leave us while he was away. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone!