Potty training/preschool

smacb · November 2011

My son has had three accidents since preschool started in early September. They're threatening to boot him. I don't really know what to do. We've tried everything to get him potty trained. He's gotten much better, but he still has accidents. He's 3 years and 3 months.

northernvabride · November 2011

Sorry for the drama over potty training and preschool. When we looked at preschools before we even had kids, they all required the kids to be potty trained, which makes sense. We never looked into the details to see if there was a certain threshold and then you get booted. We go to a daycare that has a preschool program and since it is part of a daycare, there aren't those same rules. Yes, DD had to be potty trained to move up to the preschool 2 room (they successfully potty trained her at 2 years old), but she still has accidents (a few a month, usually in the span of a few days), and it isn't a big deal to them or to her. And we're a year into being fully potty trained. Now it is more a matter of her being distracted by playtime, thinking she can hold it, and then not making it in time. 3 accidents in 2+ months is potty trained to me. Even kids in elementary school have accidents. I hope they give you some more chances. Or, if they are going to be so strict on that, maybe you're better off somewhere else. good luck.

Sofka · November 2011

northernvabride:
but she still has accidents (a few a month, usually in the span of a few days), and it isn't a big deal to them or to her. And we're a year into being fully potty trained. Now it is more a matter of her being distracted by playtime, thinking she can hold it, and then not making it in time. 3 accidents in 2+ months is potty trained to me. Even kids in elementary school have accidents. I hope they give you some more chances. Or, if they are going to be so strict on that, maybe you're better off somewhere else. good luck.

we are in the same boat, sometimes kids this age just get so distracted or they think they can hold it while they really can't. I am surprised at how strict your pre-school is, it's hard to believe your DS is the only 1 having accidents!

Useonfire · November 2011

3 accidents in over 2 months? Come on. They're being exceptionally strict. I know 6 and 7 year olds who might have accidents like that.

I'd say that your son is completely potty trained but might be having accidents for several reasons - does he have enough opportunities to use the bathroom? Is he having the accidents outside (this is pretty common, kids don't want to stop playing to come in and pee!). Is he having a hard time with the pre-school adjustment?

There could be any number of factors, and for them to threaten to kick him out is ludicrous in my opinion. 3 year olds have accidents!

2vthokies · November 2011

That's a bit extreme. DD1 has been potty trained since last December and she still, on occasion, has an accident (once every other month or so). She's been night-trained since she was 15 months old (she's almost 39 months) and just last month she had a night time accident - first one ever. Heck sometimes even I can come close to an accident (like if we're on a road trip and I really don't want to stop because the kids might wake up). I'd ask them to tell you when he is having the accidents. Useonfire is right - playground accidents are common and if that's when he's having them, they should make sure he goes potty before he heads out. If it's right after his nap then they should make sure he goes before he naps, etc.

JKM416 · November 2011

As PPs said, that seems like an extreme reaction by the staff. DD made it through the entire 3-year old program last year without a single accident. Yet she's had several just this year alone...I think the extra hour of classtime is too much for her, whereas previously she might have been able to hold it.

I think if the staff is aware of his "tendency" (which it doesn't even seem to be) to have accidents, it's their job to factor that in. Are there scheduled potty breaks for the entire class throughout the day: before playtime, before snacktime, etc. that your DS can count on? Or do they just ask if kids need to go? Or is it up to the kids to take the initiative and speak up with a request? I think the adjustment of a different teacher and different classmates threw DD off for a while, and she wasn't comfortable announcing that she needed to use the potty...so she didn't. The teachers understood and started asking her discreetly and having her tag along on other kids' potty breaks, so she got back into the habit of listening to her body's cues and remembering that it wasn't a big deal to use the preschool bathrooms. Maybe your DS's teachers should be doing something similar?

smacb · November 2011

THanks. It seemed a little extreme to me. The school he's going to is only for 3 and up. He's in the youngest class and possibly the youngest boy in the school. We're looking into moving him to another school.

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