Just venting...Not looking forward to telling my family.

EZCmom · November 2011

I'm pregnant with my second and it came as a surprise to me but knew when I took the pregnancy test that I would have been really dissapointed if it came back negative. So even though I'm actually quite happy that I am pregnant again it definitely isn't under ideal circumstances. I got engaged in 2009 and about 2 months later got laid off from my job. Since I lost my well paying job we decided to postpone wedding plans. 9 months later I became pregnant and my parents did not hide their dissapointment in my not being married when I got pregnant. 2010 - had my son and they love him dearly. I have loved being able to stay at home with my son but I have been looking for a job and just haven't been able to catch a break and we do need the extra income. Now that I find myself pregnant again, still not married and they know that we are already struggling financially I'm really not looking forward to telling my family. Not only will my parents be negative I also have three younger sisters that do not feel the need to keep their opinions to themselves. I've been trying to talk my fiance into just going to the courthouse and getting married but he's an only child and actually wants a wedding and reception. His mother passed away several years ago and he has told his dad who is very happy to be adding another to his family. Exhale. Vent over.

Asquared · November 2011

hmm, would dh-to-be be okay w/ a court wedding, but plan a nice reception? Sorry you are not able to be fully excited- I'm pretty excited to tell my family about my shocker 3rd, but not excited at all to tell hubby's family. I have a SIL whose had a miscarriage and has been trying for a while to get pregnant and I just feel like even though she'll say she's happy for us, she'll have plenty of mixed emotions I just don't even know how to tell that side??

GL to you!

EZCmom · November 2011

Thank you and congratulations on your 3rd and good luck with the sil. That would be a tough one.

Cassie+Andy= · November 2011

Ask your fiance if you can just pretend like you got married for your parents sake, get a fake ring and say you went to the courthouse. When it's time for your real wedding, tell them you lied to them because you wanted them to shut up. They might be mad, but they'll get over it, unconditional love right?

morethancottoncandy · November 2011

IMHO, you should just go ahead and get married. Chances are it will be pretty difficult to find a job the further along you get and if you are already struggling, a wedding is an extravagance you simply can't afford. It's time for a come to Jesus meeting with your fiance. He needs to understand the reality of your situation. Do a vow renewal after 5 years when you will hopefully be back on your feet.

meg193 · November 2011

I would tell your fiance that it is important to you to get married. Marriage shouldn't be about a wedding and the money. Tell him that you can have an awesome reception when things turn around for you two. As far as the financial situation goes, as long as your sisters haven't helped you out financially then it is really none of their business and I would make that clear to them if I were you

Congrats on your pregnancy!

mkflower3000 · November 2011

I'm not in the exact same situation, but financially we're also not in a great place. Unfortunately, we don't have a ton of close friends where we live (we're only here because of my grad program), and somehow the few friends we do have are pretty judgmental and overly-practical. Both our families and our really good friends all live really far away, so it basically feels like we're on our own over here. We haven't told anyone except for our parents yet because we're waiting to do that in the 2nd tri, but I already have a feeling that our friends here will not take it that well... Not that it should really matter, but I don't want any negativity towards us or this (as it should be) happy event - which I'm sure is what you're feeling as well! No child should have people look at it as a bad thing! I just wish that we could get through this program (I should hopefully graduate in May) without anyone here ever knowing that I'm pregnant, but of course that would be impossible...

ANYWAY

What I try to keep telling myself is that my duty to LO right now is to be excited and protect him/her, which means that I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks of the situation and just be happy for us - WE are happy and looking forward to it, and if people want to be jerks about it then it's too bad for them... BUT it's been really hard to actually get myself to feel that way. Maybe you'll have better luck? Just remember that you will be able to provide love, support, and happiness to the new LO when s/he is born, and that's what matters more than how many toys you can buy or whether mommy and daddy are married

Good luck!

Duewith2nd · November 2011

You don't have to pay a ton for a wedding. In fact, if you have some great friends you can throw a very nice wedding for under $100. If you're interested I could give you some tips.

EZCmom · November 2011

Thanks for all of the support and advice. I guess that's really what I was looking for as it did make me feel better. I am really excited about having another baby. I could never imagine how much I love my little boy so another baby will be double the love in my heart.

Want a personalized experience?

Just venting...Not looking forward to telling my family.

Re: Just venting...Not looking forward to telling my family.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards