- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
March 2012 Moms
Baby Lynn
member
very angry with my doc!! (long, vent)
Baby Lynn
member
so today i had an appt. not for the baby just for myself with my regular doctor. i have been seeing this doctor for at least 4 years if not longer. she is my doctor for everything (besides baby). well this was not a planned pregnancy. my SO is 22 and i am 21 in a few months. im a nursing student and he is going to school (graduates in april) for mechanical engineering 5 hrs away from me. because my doctor is here we decided that i should stay here instead of move up by his school. i understand that we are young, not married (engaged though) and being pregnant and not living together isnt always the easiest. however, we have an amazing relationship. we talk everyday, see each other every other weekend, skype as often as we can. we both go to school and work but we make things work. so anyways with all that said here is the convo between my doc and i during a non-baby related appt:
dr: hows the pregnancy?
me: good, feeling fine, its a boy and we are excited.
dr: are you and the babies father still together?
me: yes. (all excited) he comes home next weekend!
dr: where was he?
me: oh he lives 5 hours away where he goes to school.
dr: oh. hows that going?
me: great.
dr: so hes up going to school with you pregnant down here?
me: yeah.
dr: i guess im just skeptical..you know how boys that age are.
so basically what she implied was that boys that age are all cheaters and that we will not last. and because we are young, not married, havinga child, and dont live together so we can both go to school and me not be 5 hours away form doctor (if something goes wrong id rather be closer) that means he is going to cheat? she does not know him, has never met him, and knows nothing about his relationship. who in the hell is she to make those assumptions?! i really hate being stereotyped just because of my age and because we are not yet married. i was extremly pissed when she said this to me! i honestly trust him not to cheat. we do have a really good relationship and talk alot. i could not believe she said that though. maybe i am just over reacting but i felt it was not her place to judge him or our relationship. i really dont like being judged. this was not planned but we are both extremly excited. hes already looking at dirt bikes for the baby and is always looking at things for his son.
*sigh* i guess vent is over..i really just dont want to be judged because of our ages.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: very angry with my doc!! (long, vent)
That really blows! I'm sorry she said that...first off, none of her freakin' business, but also, maybe doctors should stick to medical science and not judgmental shenanigans.
By the time I was 21/22 DH and I had been together for 3-4 years and nothing in the world would have ever made me question his fidelity. i'm sure you and your SO are the same way and although it must be so hard with him away all the time, I'm sure you guys are going to be just fine without any comments from the "peanut gallery".
Take a deep breath, maybe some good chocolate, and revel in the fact that he's coming home soon
Oh lady. I'm sorry. I'm a firm believer that cheating knows no age. I know a woman my age (30) whose husband cheated on her after she had their baby. On the flip, my BF had his son when he was 20. He never cheated on his son's mom. It was totally ignorant of your doctor to assume that just because you're young, he'll cheat.
Babies sometimes happen and it sounds like you two found the positive and best in a somewhat difficult situation.
(Also, people will always find a reason to judge. BF and I have been together for three years and we love each other. However, I refuse to get married just because of Dewey. Before we found out I was KU we talked about maybe getting engaged in a year or two. I like this plan and we're sticking to it. Some people ::cough:: his mom ::cough:: keep insisting we should get married now. She says it will be better for the kid. Ugh! Whatever. Haters gonna hate, you know? I think you sound like you really know what you're doing. Try not to let know it alls get you down!)
I *really* love Pinterest!
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders so just try and let it slide. People suck.
DH and I were just dating all 4 years I was in college. We only lived an hour apart but we saw each other every weekend sometimes even more than that. But us being apart did not make me think he was cheating just because of his age. Age does not determine maturity, nor does it dictate whether or not one will be faithful. Yes you are young but it sounds like you have a lot going for yourself. I hate when people judge based off age, Im 25 and the ONLY one who is married (most of my friends are not even in a serious relationship) and graduated from college out of all my friends. Hell the only one that even went to college to be honest lol so you are headed in a great direction and I encourage you to keep it up! Don't let people get you mad, sad or frustrated by their comments, people just need to fall back and learn their place. A baby don't have to be planned, either way it's a blessing and you keep doing whats right for you and yours
Just wanted to let you know that while she didn't express herself well, I think that in her "head" she might have been trying to look out for you. . .Just a possibility, but maybe that will make you feel better.
When one of my favorite students was expecting last year (she's also 21), I wanted to know those same things. I wasn't worried about cheating--none of my business--but I wanted to know she was being supported. Luckily she's in a great situation, but I've seen a lot of horror stories with my college students. I'm sure the doctor has seen the same. . .
You're so lucky to be in a strong relationship, but unfortunately a lot of young women aren't so lucky, and they need all of the support they can get. But she should not have assumed the worst and I'd be upset too!
I'm sorry she made those assumptions and it upset you. She's very silly because if a person is going to cheat, it doesn't matter how far or close they are.