those with 2+ kids
Were you more nervous or more stressed with your second (or beyond) pregnancies?
I feel like with #1 ignorance was bliss. We picked a name we liked, painted the room with a huge mural because we wanted to and didn't worry about what could go wrong.
This time around I know that even if a name isn't in the top 100 it can shoot up in popularity so there's at least one kid sharing her name in each grade at school, you get tired of themed nurseries quick and the kid doesn't care and then either you or someone who know has had every think you can think of go wrong with their pregnancy or kid.
Is it just me? I don't know if it's just because I have 2 in there so I'm worried that I have twice as many chances for something to go wrong (nevermind preemie horror stories) or if it's just because we were so un-knowledgeable the 1st time around and this time I know too much.
Re: those with 2+ kids
I agree - but I also think knowledge is good, too. Like, for the baby bedding, I'm not going to buy every matching accessory under the block this time, since now, we realize how hard it is to try to coordinate with specific existing fabric themes and colors when transitioning to a full comforter.
Also, I hope not to stress out as much with BFing this time around (we'll see how that turns out!).
I will say the name thing is hard, too, though. We still have a 3 name short list and I am only 2 weeks out! I am afraid it will be more stressful if we haven't picked by the time we get to the hospital.
For #2, it was easier because I realized how frivolous and unnecessary a lot of stuff is. He never even had a proper "nursery" with bedding. All he had was a white bed skirt and a while sheet, plus a couple blankets that were gifts (when he was old enough to use them).
the name thing was hard because T's name is a family name, both 1st and middle. We had no good family names left and felt kind of sad for #2. Luckily, we were able to come up with something sentimental even though it's not a "name" per se.
Over all, taking care of #2 as a baby was way less stressful. You already know all the answers to the questions you had with #1, i.e. fever is 99.1, do I call the doctor? Poop is <this color>, should I be concerned?
I have also learned that we suffer from information over load. THere are so many 'experts' out there, that the Baby Money Machine is convincing us we don't know how to take care of babies without their advice. We are mothers. We do know what to do and can do it on our own. This is how the human race has existed for millions of years.
In the end, all your babies want is to be loved and nourished. If you can do that for them (and I know you can and will), the rest is just fluff.
It's not so much the taking care of them when they're here (although 2 at once is nerve-wrecking) it's the getting them here that I am worried about. I think I'm also feeling very indecisive at the moment so it's not helping.
Are you seeing a MFM/Perinatologist as well as your OB? You will get a lot more ultrasounds with twins, so that should help a bit with the worries. Read Dr. Luke's book "when you're expecting twins...", it's very helpful. And the multiples board here is a great resource too.
I had more questions/worries with the twins than with my first, but just take it one day at a time. I had a pretty textbook, uncomplicated pregnancy with the twins, but I will say there is nothing "easy" about it. Just get lots of rest, drink lots of water, and listen to your body. It may be hard, but it's so worth it when you bring your babies home! Wishing you the best, and I'm happy to help with any other questions you may have.
not seeing an MFM yet, my OB said as long as everything is going ok I don't need too. He did say I will have more u/s then normal. I read Dr. Luke's book and am following her suggestions (never thought it would be hard to gain weight-but it is!). I'm on the multiple board -under an AE so I could post there before outing myself here! same sig pic if you're on there.
Carrying twins is scary. Delivering twins is scarier. You're not the first MoM and not the last.
Yup ignorance is bliss. Having a low stress singleton pregnancy is awesome; you don't always realize how great it is until you have a high stress, high risk pregnancy.
No worries though.
You'll make it through just fine!
Every OB is different in regards to co-management with an MFM. I solely went to an MFM and am so thankful that I did. They kept me pregnant way longer than any regular OB would have (of course I can say this with confidence because of my job). Just be prepared that things can change at any time. Expect the worst (bed rest, etc) and hope for the best.
With #1, definitely ignorance was bliss. I had a heightened awareness of what could go wrong the second time. My age (41) seemed more of a factor for some reason - I felt like I was simultaneously pushing the envelope and tempting fate.
After my first delivery I read a ton of articles and books about labor and delivery because I felt like I'd been completely unprepared for the process. Second L&D was med-free (not on purpose) and super quick.
I can't speak to carrying multiples, but I do think a second pregnancy is different in so many ways. So a second pregnancy with multiples after a singleton pregnancy could be considered exponentially different.
Totally agree that ignorance is bliss. With DD I had no idea what was going on in pregnancy, delivery, when she was an infant, etc. I never doubted myself or worried about too much.
With DS I didn't tell people, even family until about 10 weeks because I was afraid something would go wrong. I worried a lot during the pregnancy, was anxious for the delivery, and was constantly worried about him as an infant.
I could only imagine how it would have been had he been twins!
On another note - I love your new sig pic. She is a beauty!
Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
Our first pregnancy were very much a like where in the end, we both had pre-e. Prior to all of that...ignorance was bliss and GREAT.
So with my #2, I worried about when pre-e was going to come or not. I took my blood pressure every night (sometimes every hour in the evening time). I used the doppler A LOT during the first 2 tri before I felt kicks. I was always worried that something would go wrong and I felt robbed of a carefree pregnancy.
In the end...Ally is healthy and everything went okay (1 month in the hospital). I didn't have a nursery or anything for her. But honestly...after doing all of that for Emmy, I wasn't the top priority. I don't even have custom wood painted letters for her to hang in the room and she's almost 2!
So I think it's normal (especially if you had issues with pregnancy #1 and tried so hard to get pregnant with #2/3!)
Just know that in the end...it will all work out!