Am I being hormonal and snarky?

liltatgirl0280 · November 2011

This weekend I'm invited to a baby shower. Normally I would go and get something really nice for this person. BUT... I noticed over the past couple of weeks that she has posted things on FB about shower #1 with about 50 pictures of her holding up all her gifts she got. There was maybe one or two pictures of people at the actual shower. Now she has a post about how she can't wait for shower #2! It makes me wonder how many of these showers this woman has planned for herself. Yes for herself. I've watched her call people and ask them what they want to bake and bring to her shower.

Now I know.. I will someday have a shower and this person will be invited but... seriously? I've already seen how much she's gotten. I know the next shower is going to include about 40-50 people. Am I wrong in thinking I can just get her the $20 diaper bag off her registry and be done?

celestialnyte · November 2011

Did you RSVP yes already? If not, I don't think I'd go. I'd send my regards, and then order something off the registry online and have it shipped to her house. (Maybe I'm being hormonal, too ... but that would drive me nuts.)

If you did RSVP, I'd still get something off the registry and make an exit as quick as I could.

krate24 · November 2011

Wow, it's generally poor taste to throw one shower for yourself, let alone two. I guess as far as a gift is concerned, it depends upon how close you are. But I think the $20 diaper bag off her registry is just fine.

itkatydid · November 2011

maybe she was posting those pics to show her appreciation to those to bought her the gifts from the shower.

IMO, Just go. You will have a baby shower (or maybe even two or three) soon enough and you won't want people talking about how you don't deserve your showers or the gifts you receive at them.

MNmomofQ · November 2011

Yes , it absolutely tacky of her to throw her own baby shower so you can side eye that, but the picture thing i kinda understand because unwrapping gifts is a big part of the shower so I am not surprised there would be a lot a pictures of gifts.

EastCoastBride · November 2011

MNmomofQ:
Yes , it absolutely tacky of her to throw her own baby shower so you can side eye that, but the picture thing i kinda understand because unwrapping gifts is a big part of the shower so I am not surprised there would be a lot a pictures of gifts.

But why did she need to post them? That's what I don't get.

Honestly, OP, i wouldn't fault you for "not feeling well" and not going at all....

liltatgirl0280 · November 2011

I can understand some pictures of the gifts. But they literally took pictures of everything like plain white onsies, a package of diapers, etc. I know people spent hours decorating the place the shower was held, there were games, and other typical shower events. None of them seems to have been captured though. I don't know. Like I said I could just be in a bad hormonal mood today but everything about this just seems to saying greedy to me.

MNmomofQ · November 2011

EastCoastBride:
MNmomofQ:
Yes , it absolutely tacky of her to throw her own baby shower so you can side eye that, but the picture thing i kinda understand because unwrapping gifts is a big part of the shower so I am not surprised there would be a lot a pictures of gifts.
But why did she need to post them? That's what I don't get.
Honestly, OP, i wouldn't fault you for "not feeling well" and not going at all....

I don't know why she needed to post them all I'm just not surprised that their are a lot a present pictures.

OP I am sure if you just sent a gift and didn't go that would be fine. Also I would only spend as much as you comfortable spending.

EastCoastBride · November 2011

liltatgirl0280:
I can understand some pictures of the gifts. But they literally took pictures of everything like plain white onsies, a package of diapers, etc. I know people spent hours decorating the place the shower was held, there were games, and other typical shower events. None of them seems to have been captured though. I don't know. Like I said I could just be in a bad hormonal mood today but everything about this just seems to saying greedy to me.

I'm with you. I know there were a few pictures taken of me opening gifts, but not every.single.one and really - even *I* don't have an interest in looking at pictures of me opening gifts.

It's boring and why would anyone else want to look at pictures of me doing that? Trust me, I get where you're coming from.

mkflower3000 · November 2011

Hey, if it's on her registry, that means she wants it, right? So she shouldn't have any issues with you getting her that, even if it's just that

Why would you have 2 showers anyway, unless you had to due to family reasons? (DH and I might have to, actually, because his mom has really bad anxiety and can't travel and our parents live over 4 hours apart... So unless my parents ARE able to make it to his parents' place, we might have to have 2 to avoid any drama)

mel101 · November 2011

I would suck it up and go, one day maybe she'll realize what's important in life. I know it's hard to watch people like that though, makes ya wanna say something lol

canthardlywait426 · November 2011

liltatgirl0280:
I can understand some pictures of the gifts. But they literally took pictures of everything like plain white onsies, a package of diapers, etc. I know people spent hours decorating the place the shower was held, there were games, and other typical shower events. None of them seems to have been captured though. I don't know. Like I said I could just be in a bad hormonal mood today but everything about this just seems to saying greedy to me.

Maybe the person who was taking the pictures didn't take any of the decorations? I don't know.

It's in poor taste to throw your own shower, but are you sure she did that?

liltatgirl0280 · November 2011

"Its in poor taste to throw your own shower, but are you sure she did that?"

Yeah. I'm positive. She's a family member and I watched her arrange everything by calling people to see if they were coming then following that question with a request for them to do something for the shower. "Oh good you're coming! Can you bring a dessert with you? I don't think there is going to be a lot of food." "I know you have a membership to sams club... would you mind bringing some soda to the shower? It doesn't have to be anything fancy..."

I think I just puked in my mouth a little.

Capt Jen · November 2011

My guess is someone else had her camera and took the pictures for her. If that's all the pictures that were taken, then maybe she just posted them out of respect of the person who took them or the people who gave the gift.

Then again, some people have no couth when it comes to facebook and what's appropriate to post.

On the subject of quantity of showers, I will probably end up having three; one for DH's side of the family, one for my side of the family, and one that my BFF is wanting to throw. So, just because someone has multiple showers doesn't mean they are greedy.

If she is a friend, I say get something off the registry that you're comfortable buying and go. Who cares what she got before or how many showers she has.

PrincessMenace · November 2011

pfft. looking ingracious in front of this woman should be the last thing on your mind! haha seriously, i'd buy a pack of diapers and call it a day.

couliegirl · November 2011

NO, you are not. Honestly, family member or no, if I knew someone had planned their own baby shower, not only would I not go, I would not give them a gift at the shower, or when the baby is born (I usually do both.) I feel very strongly about not throwing a gift giving event in your own honor, NO. MATTER. WHAT. And yes, I did need to yell.

cjpreuss · November 2011

Some people just upload all the pictures from their shower that whoever took. Also, she may be doing it so people can see her with the gift they bought again.

Maybe the person throwing her shower asked her to help find people do to a few things. I would go and not base your gift giving off of her posting pictures online.

Angganathan · November 2011

It is weird to have multiple baby showers, but sometimes people do that for family reasons, I know one of my good friend that is due on December will probably have 100 people in her shower because her DH have a HUGE family. I asked her if she wanted multiple shower but she just said no and let the whole family and friends be there, which I think is a very good idea.

Anyway, continue to a problem, that is so weird that she is calling people to come and bring stuff for her, sometimes people are just an attention hog Ick! but I would say out of courtesy just go to her shower and just get any gift that you feel convinience giving, even if its $20 diaper bag. I usually gives more to people that I'm close to, but give less to the one that im not really familiar too.

BuckeyeWife07 · November 2011

itkatydid:
maybe she was posting those pics to show her appreciation to those to bought her the gifts from the shower.
IMO, Just go. You will have a baby shower (or maybe even two or three) soon enough and you won't want people talking about how you don't deserve your showers or the gifts you receive at them.

This. I had two showers (though I didn't throw them for myself) with DD. It's always easy to get upset or jealous of other people's showers and how much they got compared to yours and what you get. But if your really friends with this person, it's best to hold your head up and just do as you would for ayone else. I had a friend who had a shower for her second (4th for her and he husband together) and was really expecting everything she got at her first shower since she had gotten rid of everything in between. I wasn't a fan of how she was doing things, but I wasn't her. I really wasn't able to make it to the shower, but I got her a nice gift (her monitor) and wished her the best, because that's what I felt was best for the friendship.

BuckeyeWife07 · November 2011

liltatgirl0280:
"Its in poor taste to throw your own shower, but are you sure she did that?"

Yeah. I'm positive. She's a family member and I watched her arrange everything by calling people to see if they were coming then following that question with a request for them to do something for the shower. "Oh good you're coming! Can you bring a dessert with you? I don't think there is going to be a lot of food." "I know you have a membership to sams club... would you mind bringing some soda to the shower? It doesn't have to be anything fancy..."

I think I just puked in my mouth a little.

Ok. This is sad.

iuplori · November 2011

Yeah, I think the posting of them all on FB is a little much, but maybe she's not that good with how to just do a few? Maybe she asked the person taking photos to snap them to help her remember who gave what, for writing the thank yous? I don't know, just trying to look on the bright side.

As far as you going or not, I don't think you need to feel badly if you don't want to go and haven't RSVP'd yet.

ateal2490 · November 2011

I wouldn't go. Doesn't sound like homegirl would even notice if no one showed up...as long as there were gifts to take pictures of.

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