Clicky Poll for advice on my dog

Doodle2011 · November 2011

So we have three dogs, two are happy go lucky boxers who are BFF's and love everyone and everything, the third is my anxious mixed breed I have had for 10 years who loves people, tolerates the other animals, but regularly "loses it" and snaps at the other dogs or our cats for basically no reason (and sometimes draws blood). He has never liked other dogs from day 1, even when he was my only dog and way before I met DH, I don't know what happened to him before I adopted him, but I think it's safe to say it was not a good environment. Contemplated re-homing him, but have yet to find a place where he would be the only pet and there are no kids (I won't pass the same problem onto someone else who has other pets or small kids). Plus I am worried about how that would affect him after having been with me for so long (no shocker, he is super sensitive, afraid of thunder, anything new, you name it) .

Our concern has been that LO will one day be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and could be on the receiving end of his snapping- and he can do some damage. Our solution has been babygating ALL the dogs in our back room, only letting them out at night when LO is asleep. However, I feel like this is unfair to the other two dogs, as is them being on the receiving end of the third dog's foul moods. DH suggested making dog 3 an outdoor dog, but that also doesn't sit well with me, especially with his fear of thunder. I am just not a believer in outdoor dogs unless you live on a huge piece of land or a farm and can give them a super nice enclosure for shelter (not possible in our yard). We have also considered putting the third dog down, but that has been something I have not been able to follow through on (it makes me sick to even think about). Turning him into a shelter is not an option for me, as that is where he came from, and I KNOW that would destroy him.

So, what would you do??

[Poll]

MarSamWhitney · November 2011

Do you have to seperate all 3 at once? I dont know if you have an open floor plan or what. My bc mutt Marley has aggresive tendencies, so if LO is in the living room, he has run of the house. He has never snapped at her, but i have seen him with others so that would lead me to be extremely cautious with him. I know it can be a PITA, but I make it work, he is a great dog.

That being said...Marley has never drawn blood on a person, or another animal. Can you at least continue to seperate him and look very hard for someone to take him? There has got to be someone. Have you tried posting an ad on craigslist? I think it would be horrible to put him down. It sounds like you have been with this dog for a very long time, but of course your child comes first. Im sure this is a tough decision.

Kell+bell · November 2011

I was in the same situation with DD six years ago. I had a rescue dog - a terrier - who had been abused and was occasionally agressive because of it. He was my baby for years. Then DD came along, and Elwood did not take to sharing me well. I spend six months trying to keep them apart and then one day, he took a snap at her. Thank God, he didn't get her, but I couldn't risk it anymore. I found a good home for him with no children and had to give him away. Please no flames, it broke my heart and I refuse to get another dog because I loved Elwood so much. But the bottom line is, you have to protect your children and dogs can always be a question mark. Children don't know to leave them alone when they eat, etc. I know this is a difficult situation and GL with whatever decision you make.

MarSamWhitney · November 2011

Kell+bell:
I was in the same situation with DD six years ago. I had a rescue dog - a terrier - who had been abused and was occasionally agressive because of it. He was my baby for years. Then DD came along, and Elwood did not take to sharing me well. I spend six months trying to keep them apart and then one day, he took a snap at her. Thank God, he didn't get her, but I couldn't risk it anymore. I found a good home for him with no children and had to give him away. Please no flames, it broke my heart and I refuse to get another dog because I loved Elwood so much. But the bottom line is, you have to protect your children and dogs can always be a question mark. Children don't know to leave them alone when they eat, etc. I know this is a difficult situation and GL with whatever decision you make.

No one is going to flame you, at least they shouldn't. You did the right thing by finding him a new home. Some animals just do not react well to change and are not as good natured as others. They are animals, what do we expect. We can not always predict what they are going to do. You completely did the right thing, and I am HUGE dog lover. I would have done the exact same thing.

Doodle2011 · November 2011

We don't have an open floor plan, it's a built in the 1950's ranch house. The back room they are separated in has a doggie door leading to the back yard though, so it's not terrible for them. If I only separate the problem dog, he will whine/scratch/cry. You'd think he would enjoy the peace and quiet, but knowing he is away from everyone else seems to make it worse. All three are ok being separated, in fact when we are gone they could care less and generally spend most of their time in the yard, but once we come home in the evening and they spend another couple hours peeking at us, you can tell they are all pretty bummed about not being able to come hang out. Craigslist worries me because I have heard of people using dogs given away there as bait dogs. I'm probably being a little crazy, but I would prefer if I re-home that I know the people pretty well. I couldn't hand over my dog to a stranger, it would wreck me. I am probably going to leave things status quo unless DH decides enough is enough (he seems to be ok with the current solution for now). I am continuing to hunt for a new home for him, but so far the only taker has been my mom, and she has no fenced yard, and a small dog of her own, so I am just not sure it's a wise idea. My dog is very strong on a leash and I don't think she can handle him (I know she can't; he actually pulled her down the stairs once when she was visiting and she shattered her wrist...he saw a squirrel). ETA: my mom lives 750 miles away so there is the logistics of getting him there, and if he did snap at her dog he couldn't stay. I would hate to get him up there and then have it fail (which is a safe bet it would...he would not be stoked about the drive, the new dog, and the new environment). Ugh!!

MarSamWhitney · November 2011

Have you posted it on your FB? Sometimes people take those and "share" them, and word gets around. Maybe you could find a friend of a friend?

lol, def do not give that dog to you mom. He could hurt her, and her little dog too! lol

MarSamWhitney · November 2011

Also, Doodle- Sorry If I am being pushy. I have worked off and on with a rescue org, and both my mutts are rescues. Im a little pasionate about them Embarrassed . A year ago I probably would have told you what a turd you are for thinking about giving away your dog. But now...I have a LO too. If anything happened to my LO because of my stupidity, I would never forgive myself. Therefore, Marley is 4- and will be seperated from LO whenever she is crawling or walking, whatever...for the next God knows how many years. Honestly, being that I am in a trilevel, makes it much easier. If it is too much stress on you, and you know you can find him a home where he is loved...you are completely doing the right thing.

Sorry again, ask anyone..I am long winded! LOL. Just didnt want to come across as "ohhh havent you tried this?!" not at all, just trying to be helpful. Good Luck!

I'll quit flapping my gums now. lol

Doodle2011 · November 2011

no I appreciate any and all advice! This has been weighing on me heavily. I am a dog rescuer myself, volunteer at my local shelter, etc. Dumping a beloved pet is not something I take lightly. My poor dog is coming off like an a-hole in this thread, but he is really a sweet dog. He just needs to be in a situation that sets him up for success, not failure, ya know? I know his limitations and I won't push them. They have been pushed enough with me moving in with DH and his dog, us getting the other boxer, etc. And sometimes the three of them are just in love with each other, sleep in a pile, etc. He's been good to the other two dogs since we started the separation thing, I think if he keeps that up we can do this. H has been very patient up to this point. He loves him too, but he is tired of finding teeth marks on our two boxers, and if it happens again or if the dog so much as raised a lip to our daughter, this could be it for him, and I understand that completely. We won't chance an accident happening, and enough is enough with the other dogs putting up with it. My DH's friend recently moved back to our city to take care of his sick mother, and there is a chance he might take him eventually. I am keeping my fingers crossed. It could be awhile though, this poor guy's mom has stage 4 cancer.

MarSamWhitney · November 2011

That is tough. Maybe a dog will be just the thing he needs. I do hope it works out. Hang in there.

Jessys_Girl · November 2011

I would only seperate the aggressive dog and not the other two. The other two may begin to resent 1) being punished for dog#3's behavior and 2) being made to spend entire days with Cranky McCrankerpants.

I would also look for a suitable re-home situation.

In the meantime, maybe a trainer could help to train/calm dog#3.

I must say, I agree with you about saying NO to putting him down. I do NOT believe in KILLING an animal just because it doesn't fit with the life you are living. So thank you for choosing to try to do what is best for this dog.

yourmom5309 · November 2011

I am a huge dog fan, but understand you need to do what is best for you, Shiloh, and your pets. I would try to figure out what would make dog three the happiest - either: (1) living outside but still with you as his owner, or (2) finding him a new home inwhich he has full access.

DH and I had a border collie while in law school. She was loving but super hyper. We had to kennel her whenever we were not home, because if not, she would eat our clothes and furniture. We ended up having to kennel her so much, that we just felt it was unfair to the dog. It took a while, but we eventually found her a new home with tons of space. The decision to find a new home was not difficult, because we only had her for 6-8 months. It would have been a different story had she lived with us for years. GL mama.

daisygirl2010 · November 2011

First, let me say I am a major dog person. I did animal rescue and I have very strong negative opinions about people that get rid of their animals for unjustified reasons.

That being said, sometimes, in certain situations, it can be justified and even the BEST choice for the dog. Also, since I'm a mom now, I understand that the safety of your child must always come first.

So...I think if you are nervous and honestly think there is a danger that your child will get bit, then you should find the dog a new home. In the meantime, keep the dog separated from your LO. I don't think making the dog an "outdoor dog" is a good option - dogs need their families. Your dog will have a better life with another family than staying with you & being locked outside 100% of the time.

Good luck. I imagine this is a very difficult situation for you.