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Adoption
maternity leave
I just found out that my company only offers FMLA for adopting mothers, since you're not under a doctor's care, so it's not considered short term disability.
I hate this. I'd like to have some money left over for RAISING our child! And why do our babies deserve less time at home with their mommies after placement than babies who are raised by their birth moms get? I understand that the insurance company isn't looking at it from a family point of view, but from an ongoing medical treatment perspective, and that state law dictates what they're required to do, but I still think it's crap. Just feeling like it's one more way things are made to be a little bit harder for infertile couples trying to build families. Grr..
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Re: maternity leave
It has less to do with state law and insurance companies than it does with your company's policies. I've seen everything from no time off for adoption (while mothers who gave birth got anything from "just" FMLA to full maternity leave) to companies that don't distinguish between adopting and giving birth.
Perhaps you can try and lobby for a policy change at your company, especially if there are other adoptive parents you can band together with.
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My partner is a teacher and was told that "it's the same" whether the baby is born from her, adopted, or foster. After we got our foster son, she found out that she can take unpaid FMLA, but is not allowed to take any of the sick time she has saved up. So, 6 weeks unpaid that we weren't planning on. Ugh.
They did say she could take 6 weeks (paid with sick time) if we are able to adopt. The problem is--he's a newborn now, and could be 1 or 2 or 3.... by the time he is adopted. He can go to daycare then!
After giving birth you are unable to work for at least several days depending on your job so it is a disability. Six weeks is the standard for a normal delivery so that is what most companies offer and more for C-section.
I went back to work in 2 weeks after I had my second child because of company policy. I could have taken longer but I would have to use all paid days off in March which would have made it imposssible for me to take off when the kids got sick for the rest of the year. We also could not afford for me to have taken off.
With adoption at another company I was told that if I took off anything other than by vacation days I would not have a job. My company is small and we do not fall under the FMLA laws. I was told it was my choice to adopt so it was my choice to work.
I was pretty bummed about it too, but like Dr Loretta said, it really varies by company.
At my old job, women got 4 weeks paid maternity leave, regardless of how they became moms, and then they could take STD or their vacation/sick time.
At my current job (where I was working when H was born), I was able to take my FMLA leave (which I actually split between FT and PT because the federal law actually breaks the leave down hourly, so I took 8 40-hour weeks and then 10 15-hour weeks [where I worked 25 hrs/week]).
I didn't have much PTO, so most of my leave was unpaid.
Happily, he was born a week before Thanksgiving, so I had 5 paid holidays in there, which helped a lot!
What branch? DH is in the Army and so far has had no issue at all when he asks about leave. As of now, it looks like he will get the full 21 days, and should be allowed to take his 30 days of leave he's got saved up as well. That's exactly what he got when our bio son was born, but it's called adoption leave rather than paternity leave. Everyone at work has been really supportive when he mentions it, though, so maybe his unit is just being lenient (for once).
He's Air Force. There was no problem with him taking regular leave, but it just irked me that the "paternity leave" isn't allowed for adoptive fathers. There is the adoption leave (21 days), but his unit intepreted it as leave for adoption-related appointments/travel. I read up on it, and it looks like that's how the Air Force defines it. We were very thankful that he was allowed time to spend in the hospital at placement and that he'll get time off to travel for finalization, but that's not the same as spending time bonding with your newborn. He was not allowed to take his 21 days to just chill out after DD was born. I know the military doesn't owe anyone time off with a new baby, but it's just a little irritating that married men whose wives give birth get 10 days off and other fathers (single/adoptive) don't.
Yeah that is weird. I have always wondered about unmarried fathers but never looked into it. We are just acting like this one is exactly the same as our bio son as far as leave. Last time he got 20 days rather than 21, but we are able to take it from the time the bm is in labor until three weeks later. It won't only be for travel unless our travel happens to take that long (I certainly hope not!) I guess we are more lucky than I realized to have a unit who is interpreting it as basically the exact same thing no matter how we have a baby.
Yeah, that's awesome that it's working out that easily for you. I'm hoping that it will be like that for #2 since we'll be in another unit. And I can't really complain. DD was born at the beginning of Labor Day weekend, and the hospital was in our state. Since we didn't have to wait for ICPC, DH was home for a week and a half with only 4 days of leave. It just bothers me that it might not be that easy for other families. And the single parent thing bothers me, too, but it's a whole separate issue. On an individual level, though, everyone in DH's unit was really supportive. Besides the leave thing, I didn't feel like we were treated any different than any other family welcoming a new baby.