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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Chuck1906
member
Taking baths with your child?
Chuck1906
member
My GF and I were having a discussion and she said she used to allow her daughter who is now 16 to bathe with her from baby age to about 11 years old. Now we have a 5 week old son and she is saying she plans on doing the same with him until he gets to a certain age. I expressed my concern that I didn't agree with that decision and she obviously doesn't see anything wrong with doing that. I even went as far as calling my mom and asking her did I ever bathe with her when I was little and she said "HECK NO"!! LOL!!
Would this be considered odd or normal behavior? If its an infant or toddler then maybe I see her point. We don't live together so I am starting to see its going to be an uphill battle on how our child is raised. Things she thinks are normal and fine, I think are not normal and not fine.
Ive posted before on here that she seems super over protective almost like its becoming an issue. Don't get me wrong I am very protective of him too but why can't she can bathe him from the outside of the tub without actually getting in there with him?
Your thoughts...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Taking baths with your child?
Umm that's strange.
I see no issue in the bathing with your INFANT, although I would personally never do it.
But 11 years is a little extreme and seems a little petafile-ish. I'm in no way calling your GF that but at 11 years old and bathing naked with your kid who's basically in middle school is just wrong. Especially if it's her son
My mom bathed me til I was 6 years old, which is when I got uncomfortable of her seeing me naked. She never bathed WITH me though.
I know I showered with my mom until around age 6 and it was never weird. It wasn't an everyday occurence at that point though, it was if we were at the pool locker room, water park lockers, etc.
I think showering is a little different than bathing, but either way it seems weird much past age 5 or 6. Also, if the parent is the opposite sex of the child, I don't think it's appropriate beyond 1 or 2.
I think I'm in the minority here...I bathe with my child. I don't bathe myself, but I get in the tub with him to wash him. It's a lot easier for me than using the external tub. As soon as he is able to sit up on his own, though, he is moving to the sink.
My mom showered my sister and I with her on Sundays until we were like 7ish so she could wash our hair really well. I honestly don't remember how my mom looks naked (nor do I want to remember...) and didn't think it was weird at the time. I think I was in 6th grade when I finally was given privacy (taking my own shower instead of a supervised bath with my sister).
I have showered with DD and remember showering with my mom until probably around age 5-6. Like many PP, I don't see a problem with it once in a while but every time seems a little weird to me. I have thought about bringing DD in the tub with me just to see how it goes.
While DH was showering after work last week I walked in to ask him a question. He got bent out of shape when he figured out that DD was in my arms... and the shower door was never even opened. I think the whole 'modesty is out the window' thing is so true with moms... once you have had your everything hanging out for strangers to see certain things don't bother you anymore.
If it really bothers you talk to her about it... maybe set some limits of age and frequency. GL
This is mostly cultural. For example, the Japanese commonly bath together as a family well into the pre-teen years of their children. It does no psychological harm unless you turn it into a big deal. Americans tend to be very uptight and oversexualize everything. Keep in mind that a child doesn't understand nudity that way, and if your child is breastfeeding, has already had plenty of exposure to mom's anatomy.
It was also very common in pioneer times for all the children to bathe together and share the water resources.
I think the best route is to come to a compromise of the age-cut off you find most appropriate.
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i think lots of people do it. personally, if i bathed with my DD (or any future kids), would wear a bathing suit. i don't know, that's just me. BUT, i wouldn't bath with my DD because she pees in the tub.
and for the record, if i wanted to do something and DH thought it was weird and asked him mom for confirmation that it was weird, i would be p!ssed. but that's because i already feel like my ILs judge me. so you've been warned that maybe you shouldn't repeat that your mom is on your side...depending on their relationship obviously.
Seriously, she's two months old.
It's not like you brought your 5 year old into the bathroom with you.
You would really wear a bathing suit in the tub? Come on now.
I agree. I've showered with my girls from the time they were babies up until about 4 years old. It was just easier sometimes to do that than fill the tub and I could get them both clean rather quickly. Now they shower together and I kind of poke my upper body in around the curtain to help wash/ rinse hair (they're 4 and 6 years old). I'm waiting for the day where my oldest wants to shower alone and then it will stop.
This. I'm a lurker but wanted to chime in since my feelings seem to be the minority. To me, there is nothing wrong with parent and child being naked together, for as long as both of them are comfortable with it.
I went swimming naked with my dad (like spontaneously while hiking) until I was probably 8 or 9. Not scarred. I have a friend who is almost 30 and she and both her parents still see each other naked. While I wouldn't personally feel comfortable naked with my dad now, if they all are, it's not hurting anyone.